Lily's Bad Decision
by Dementors hate chocolate
Summary: Lily realizes Severus was right about James: he really is an arrogant toerag, and Lily can't deal with it anymore. She leaves James, partly because he's a jerk, and partly because she remembers Severus. Contains some swear words, torture scenes.
1. Lily and James

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

**So, another Severus and Lily! **

**I was listening to 'Give my heart a break, by Demi Lovato. It was one line, "When your lips are on my lips, and our hearts beat as one," that made me think of this. Don't ask me how, I don't know how my mind works! Sometimes I just hear one line of a song, and it's like an electric shock to my brain, causing me to come up with an idea for a story!**

**I hope you like the first chapter!**

**One swear word in this chapter!**

"Hey, sweetheart, get me another one, eh?" James Potter called to the barmaid. The barmaid obliged, sliding another shot across the table. James winked at the pretty blonde girl, and she seemed to melt in front of him, blushing a furious red before turning to help the other customers.

Lily frowned. this action was normal for James, but it bothered her. Lily remembered when she was like that, legs turning to jelly in James' presence, amazed that he even talked to her. His handsome features and confidant mannerism had that effect on people. But it didn't work on her anymore.

"James, can we leave now? I thought you said we were going out to dinner?" Lily asked. James had told her he was bringing her out for dinner, and they wound up at a bar instead.

"If you're hungry, have some peanuts," James threw the bowl of peanuts that was on the counter toward her, and they spilt into her lap.

"James," Lily said, getting upset now. "Let's go."

"Shut up, and let me finish my drink," James snarled at her, and Lily quieted.

"Honey," James called to the barmaid again. "We need more peanuts."

The barmaid came over and reached for the bowl in front of Lily to fill it, and James reached out a hand and placed it on her forearm.

"Listen, baby, if you want to hang out some time, let me know, okay? I'll be back around tomorrow night. We could do something together if you want." James offered. The girl looked down as James' tanned hand resting on her forearm and nodded. She seemed unable to look him in the eye.

"Right then," James let go of her arm. The barmaid left, hyper-ventilating slightly, but her full red lips were pulled into a wide smile.

"Did you notice that I'm right here, James? That you GIRLFRIEND is sitting right next to you watching you hit on another woman?" Lily said, angry at his antics.

"It's really none of your business," James replied coolly, getting up from his barstool.

"None of my business?" Lily screeched, and the talking in the bar stopped, and all eyes turned to the red haired woman at the bar. "When you cheat on me, yeah, I think that's my business!"

James grabbed Lily arm and snarled in her face. "Shut up, you little bitch. Look at the attention you're drawing to us. People are gonna think I'm no good."

Lily was going to say, "Well, yeah, that's because you ARE no good," but James dragged her out of the bar before she had a chance to reply.

He let go of her outside, and she rubbed her arm where he had tightly grabbed it. She could see James' fingers imprinted in her skin.

James suddenly whirled around and slapped Lily hard across the face. Lily fell to the ground and James stood over her.

"I keep telling you to stop questioning my decisions. But you never listen. It shouldn't matter to you if I hit on a hot barmaid. You sit their and keep your fat trap shut next time, you understand?"

When Lily didn't didn't reply, he slapped her again, and she felt angry tears sliding down her face.

"I don't know why you're such a jerk to me all the time. I don't deserve this," Lily cried, and she got to her feet.

James raised his hand to slap her again, but Lily turned on the spot and disapparated. She fell on the lawn in front of her house and curled up on the stoop, crying into her blouse. Why did she stay with him? She didn't know. Perhaps because she didn't want to admit to herself that she had made the worst decision of her life by going out with James. Tomorrow she would break up with him.

"You said that last week," a little voice in Lily's head said.

"This time I WILL do it" Lily said to herself.

"Oh, but you said that the week before last, don't you remember?" the voice said.

Lily sighed. Yes, she remembered.

She stood, and wiped her eyes. She entered her house, hoping her parents were eating in the dining room so they couldn't see the angry red marks on either side of her face.

"Lily, is that you?" Lily's mother called from the dining room.

"Yes."

"You're home early, did something happen?"

"No, I was just feeling a bit sick. I'm just going upstairs to bed, now. Goodnight."

"Lily," her father called. "I found something buried under the rosebush this morning. I unearthed it when I pulled up the bush. I left it on your bed."

Lily trudged up the stairs, wondering what could have been buried in her front yard. She entered her room curiously, and spotted a dark metal box on her white sheets. It was cold in her hands. 'To My Beloved Lily' was roughly carved in the top. Lily raised the lid of the box and peered inside.

It was full of papers. She took one out and looked at it.

'Dear Lily,

Today James Potter asked you out, and you accepted. It broke my heart, but what could I do? I tried to tell you how he really was, but you wouldn't listen. I want to save you from him, but you won't talk to me anymore. If only I had got to you sooner. I wish I could tell you how I feel, but I can't, and now you're with Potter, so it's over.

I just wish you knew that I love you, Lily, more then anyone else in the world, much more then Potter ever will. I'm sorry you got dragged in by Potter, Lily, but I hope you don't completely forget about me.

Severus'

Lily blinked. Severus? Severus Snape? The boy she had been best friends with until she had become obsessed with James? She picked up another letter.

'Dear Lily,

I tried to talk to you today about Potter outside Potions, but you didn't listen.

Black and Pettigrew came by and threatened me later on, warned me to leave you alone. So I guess I won't be talking to you anymore. But I still love you, Lily. Don't forget about me.

Severus'

She read more letters; they seemed to be like a diary, telling about events that had happened, wishes that Severus had, the life they could have together.

'Dear Lily,

I had a dream today. You were with Potter walking on the grounds, and I came over and pulled you away. You saw him for who he truly was, and I saved you. I took you far away, and you were happy with me. And you hated James.

Severus'

'Dear Lily,

Today was graduation day. I wanted to say goodbye to you, one last time, but Potter came over and kissed you. And you were happy. You have no idea how much I wish that was me, Lily. That was one the few times I've ever cried, Lily. Because I knew it would always be Potter, and not me. I am pushed to the side again. I am nothing. I am telling you now, in this next stage of my life, I will never get close to anyone else ever again, because you are the only one I will ever love, and no one can replace you.

Severus'

Lily finished reading all the letters in the box. The last letter read:

'Dear Lily,

I am leaving my parent's house, getting rid of all traces of this old, miserable life. I have a job, a new place to live, a fresh start. I will always remember you though, Lily. You were the only thing in my old life worth remembering.

I am going to bury these letters in your yard, because it will feel a bit like I'm giving you the letters, even though I know you will never read them. I have to go now, but I hope you don't forget me completely in your life with Potter. I love you with all my heart.

Severus'

Lily clasped the stack of letters in her hands, suddenly longing to see Severus. Why did she stop talking to him? He was a true friend. She didn't know how she never saw it before, the way he felt about her. Now that Lily thought about it, she remembered the way he looked at her, admired her, would do anything for her. Why didn't she see it? Because she was obsessed with James.

Lily fell asleep, clutching the letters full of her old friend's feelings in her hands.

**Please review! I love this story so much, cause James is a real jerk in it, and he treats Lily like crap. Don't worry, Severus will come in soon!**

**Dementors**


	2. Charms and Drinks

**J.K. owns it ALL!**

**Thank you to everyone for reviewing, and adding this to their story alerts and favorites.**

**Alethea27, EcoWarriorX, Mickiecutieknight, Nimidias, Vizi, cotn07ut85, hule, migotka21, rowanlyn-mirrim, duj, Katconan**

**I'm sorry if some of you were confused by the first chapter. I wrote one of the later chapters first, meaning for it to be a oneshot, and then I started adding more chapters, so it would make more sense, so I'm sorry if I confused you!**

**So...I wrote this chapter so it will hopefully sort things out. Lily and James are 20, they graduated from Hogwarts 3 years ago. I know I really didn't write ages or anything in the other chapter, meant to{it was actually in the oneshot chapter, so I forgot to add extra details in the first chapter}**

**Anyway, I know I'm rambling, I tend to do that, so I'm going to cut myself off now...**

"That little bitch," James swore as he stared at the spot that Lily had been a moment before. She always ruined everything with her nagging.

James rubbed his temples; he felt a little dizzy from all the drinks he had in the bar. Is that why Lily was able to break the charm, and disapparate? Because he was drunk? But no, he had been drunk before, and that never happened. She never got away before.

Maybe she was finally becoming immune to the charm. After three years, James could see how Lily could begin to fight it off.

The charm was a rather ingenious find of Sirius'. It resembled the Imperious Curse, but not many people knew about it, so it wasn't illegal. They first found the charm in a Dark Arts book that they were using for research from the Hogwarts library.

It was an old charm, simply titled 'Mind Control Spell,' that bound one person to another, by the mind. One person was the controller, while the other was the follower. You simply shot the spell at the person you wanted to control while they weren't looking, and you just had to strengthen it every few days. The follower would be completely normal able to act on their own will, except when they were in your presence. Then you would be able to control that person with your thoughts, no wand needed.

That was the charm he had on Lily right now. Although, when they first started going out, James didn't need a charm to control Lily, as she followed him around like a puppy dog, willing to do what ever he wanted her to do. She was infatuated with him. He had that effect on people; they would simply melt under his presence. He didn't know why he had never noticed Lily before, perhaps because she wasn't nearly as important as him, but he had to admit she was very pretty. So he asked her out, and she had almost fainted with delight. The honor of being asked out by James Potter! That was fifth year. They continued going out together for the remainder of their two years at Hogwarts.

After they graduated, James started drinking, and went into rages, which almost scared Lily off. But he wanted to keep her around. He loved her unique beauty: her flaming hair, her sparkling emerald eyes. He desired her. So he remembered that charm from Hogwarts.

James felt immensely powerful when he first cast it on Lily, his wand hidden under his robes as he pointed it at didn't even flinch as the spell hit her, but James got a jolt, like an electric shock to his brain. And he decided to test it.

They were alone in his apartment that night. He could try anything he wanted! A series of dirty images flashed through his mind. No, he would start with simple first just to make sure the charm worked. So James made Lily drink until she was so drunk she couldn't stand up. He laughed inwardly as Lily struggled to remain upright, but failed, falling on the floor and slurring incomprehensibly.

From that night on, he could control Lily, get her drunk so he could do whatever he wanted, flirt with other women in front of her, hit her, and she would never leave.

But James had noticed in the past week that she was disobeying him in little ways, not drinking that fourth cup of wine, not picking his trash up off the floor. He could feel her negative thoughts about him breaking out, wondering why she was with him. And tonight, well, she had ignored his mind command to shut up, and the verbal command, too. She never shut up, she kept flapping that trap, nagging him to leave, to stop flirting with other woman.

It must be that she was becoming immune to the spell. Or fighting it off without realizing it. Or it could just be a fluke, a weak casting of the charm.

"No," James thought. "Nothing I do is ever weak. It has to be Lily."

He would have to find a different method of controlling her. But first, he needed some more drinks to take his mind off the embarrassment Lily had just caused him.

And so that's why James was sitting in a different bar from the one they just vacated, slugging down shots of firewhiskey, at the same time Lily was reading the letters from Severus.

**So, send some reviews my way, please!**

**This story is intended to be totally AU, abusive, evil James, different Severus. Imagination gone wild. Lily's basically the same, I guess.**


	3. Potions and Plans

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thank you to everyone for reviewing, and adding this to their story alerts and favorites.**

**Chapter Three 'Potions and Plans'**

Severus yawned as pointed his wand at the shop door to remove the protective anti-theft charms he had put in place the night before. It was going to be another long day. September was approaching, and that meant lots and lots of children coming in to buy potion ingredients for the school year. Severus closed the door behind him as he entered the shop, and flicked his wand at the candles scattered around, lighting them one by one.

Severus had been working here since he left school, three years ago. His employer, Zacharias Stimms, had died last year and left his Potions shop in Diagon Alley to Severus, since he had no living relatives. He had taken quite a liking to Severus, and saw himself as a mentor to him. Although Severus often taught him a thing or two that he didn't know about potions.

Severus sighed. Thinking about Zacharias got him down; he missed the old man terribly. He was more of a father to Severus then Tobias Snape ever was. He helped Severus in ways Tobias never did. Severus was a bit afraid when he first left school, coming out into the world on his own. After he secured the job at the potions shop, Zacharias had helped him find a little place to live, and even offered to pay the rent until Severus could get on his own two feet. Severus had never told Zacharias about his parents, and how badly he wanted to leave home, but he guessed the old man had sensed his eagerness to leave. He was the kindest person Severus had ever met, and renewed his faith that some people were still good in this world.

Zacharias was the only person he was ever close to. Except Lily, of course. It broke his heart when she chose Potter, so after Lily, he vowed never to get close to anyone again, but somehow he couldn't help getting close to the old man. And now look what happened: Zacharias had passed on, and left Severus alone again.

Severus' thoughts turned to Lily as he picked up a broom and started sweeping the rough wooden floor. He had had a dream about her last night. She was wearing a beautiful white gown, walking through a field of blood red lilies, and calling out to him for help. Severus tried to reach out for her, to grab her hand, but she couldn't see him there, and continued calling. When Severus woke, he felt disoriented. He often dreamt of Lily, but they were good dreams, usually of him and Lily walking hand in hand along the beach, eating dinner together, or laughing. But this was different.

He wanted to go and see her so many times, but he was afraid of being rejected again. And who knows? Maybe she was even married to Potter by now, the love of her life, her hero. He would protect her if something bad was happening.

Yeah, right. Severus snorted aloud at that thought. If there was a fire, Potter would push everyone else aside to get out first.

Severus felt uneasy for a while, still thinking about the dream, but as the day wore on, and the shop got busier, he forgot about it. He refilled shelves and straightened bottles in between rushes of students coming in to buy what they needed for school.

Even though the school rush left him feeling tired and exhausted at the end of the day, it wasn't that bad. Severus rather enjoyed helping people find what they needed, although many students had no interest in potions. The big thing now was Defense against the Dark Arts, as Voldemort and his followers were roaming the streets, preying on muggles and wizards alike.

It had been the most popular class when Severus had been at school, too. Although Severus had preferred potions over DADA, he liked learning about all the defensive spells and dark creatures. Severus' Slytherin classmates, however, hated DADA. They preferred learning about the Dark Arts, rather then how to defend themselves from it, since they believed in Voldemort's cause.

Many students had assumed that Severus was into the Dark Arts at school, and supported Voldemort, because all the other Slytherins did, but the truth was, Severus didn't see the point of torturing and killing muggles and achieving a new world order. He thought things were fine just the way they were. That's why he had stayed away from the other Slytherins, ignoring their requests to join them once they left school, and serve under the Great Lord Voldemort. After he kept refusing, the Slytherins eventually gave up. But they started calling him a coward, and warned him that Voldemort would win the war, and then he would be sorry he didn't join.

Severus frowned upon their use of the word coward, because in his opinion, he was being anything but a coward, standing up to others, refusing to give in, to break. To be a pawn in the fight against the Ministry. He didn't want to fight. He had had enough of fighting in his old life, between watching his mother and father argue, and being bullied by just about everyone at Hogwarts. And that's how Severus came to be here. Keeping to himself, going quietly about his work. He enjoyed this life, and didn't want it to change.

The bell on the front door tinkled again, and Severus stood from where he had been kneeling on the floor, replacing jars of yarrowroot that been on the bottom shelf. He had expected to see more students, but there were two men standing there instead. Severus' mouth gaped open when he realized who it was. He tensed up immediately, and made sure his wand was in his pocket.

Obviously, the men didn't recognize him. Severus had changed much from school: he was no longer a scrawny, pale, greasy-haired boy. He had bulked up a bit, and cut his hair short. And he was tanner, from spending time in the summer in the garden behind the shop, tending the plants from which some of the potion ingredients he sold here came from.

"Are you just going to stand there like a dullard, or are you going to help us?" Sirius Black said.

"How can I help you?" Severus asked politely, although he felt like taking the jars behind him and smashing them in Black's face.

"We need these ingredients," James Potter thrust a list into Severus' hand. "And be quick about it, we don't have all day."

"I'll be right back," Severus said, crushing the list in his fist, trying to restrain himself from pulling his wand out and hexing Potter. He did not want to start a confrontation, and he didn't want Potter and Black to recognize him, and to know where he worked.

Severus walked through the shop, scanning the list and finding the ingredients as quickly as he could, wanting to get Potter and Black out of his shop as soon as possible.

Potter and Black waited by the front counter, talking quietly.

"Don't worry, James," Black was saying as Severus came back with the ingredients. "This potion will work until we find something else."

"It better work, Sirius," Potter warned. "If Lily leaves again, I'll blame you. You were the one who found that other curse, and now she's becoming immune to it."

Black noticed Severus standing there, and nudged Potter to be quiet. "You have everything?"

"Yes," Severus said, and handed them the items. "If I may ask, I never saw those ingredients combined before. What potion are you trying to brew?"

"None of your business," Potter said, and threw a bag of galleons at Severus. "Here, that should cover it."

Severus stared at Black and Potter's retreating backs, fury burning in him. They were no different then they were in school; they never grew up. They were still the same arrogant, pig-headed bastards they always had been.

Severus looked again at the list of ingredients on the paper in his hand. Either it was a potion they had invented, or it was a dark potion, because he had never heard of it.

Severus recalled what they were saying when he interrupted them, something about Lily becoming immune to a curse. Was that why Lily had stayed with him, because Potter was controlling her? And now she was fighting it off, and they were trying to find another way of controlling her?

Maybe Lily didn't really want to stop talking to him and stop being friends with him, maybe she was forced to.

He had to go see if she was alright. The thought of that pig controlling Lily, doing anything he wanted to her...It was different when Severus thought that Lily had gotten together with James on her own free will, but now...

He would go to her old house first. If she wasn't living there anymore, her parents would know where she was.

Another bunch of older students suddenly came in, chatting and laughing.

"I'm sorry, I'm closed." Severus said.

"We have to get our Hogwarts things," A student said.

"I'm sorry, if you come back tomorrow, I'll be open, and I can help you."

The students gave Severus dirty looks and cursed at him under their breath before leaving.

Severus sighed as he closed the door and replaced the protective charms. Why did everyone hate him?

**Yay! Severus is here! **


	4. Brewing No Escape

**Thank you for all the reviews: Rhika, Saint Snape, hervissa, Professor Radar, Saramagician, myk-myk**

**They are greatly appreciated! I'm so excited that this story already has 26 followers! It's awesome! **

**I'm trying to make James as horrible as I can in this, so James-lovers beware! And Sirius-lovers, too!{Although I love Sirius, and it's hard to write him like this!} **

**So here you go. Sorry, it's a little short.**

CHAPTER FOUR 'Brewing No Escape'

Sirius and James were back at James' apartment. They were laying out the ingredients they had just purchased from the potion shop on the kitchen table next to the old book that contained the potion recipe. Something was nagging at the back of James' mind about the clerk that had helped them..he seemed familiar somehow, and as soon as James set his eyes on him, he felt an intense hatred, but didn't know why. He shrugged, pushing the salesclerk out of his mind so he could concentrate on the potion.

"I hope this potion works," James said, looking over the ingredients.

"Oh, it will." Sirius replied. "This potion will prevent her from leaving you. It'll be like an invisible rope is tied around her waist, tying her to you. No matter what you do to her, no matter how much she wants to leave, she won't be able to. Then you can supplement it with the Mind Control charm so you can control her somewhat until we find something else."

James turned to Sirius, and clapped him on the back. "Thank you for helping me with this, Padfoot. You're a real friend. I don't think I could get through anything without you."

Sirius smirked. "I'm better then Remus and Peter, then, huh?"

"A lot better. Remus was a traitor. It hurt a bit when he left, saying he didn't want to be a Marauder anymore if all we were going to do was hurt people and put them down. But really, he didn't belong in our group. He wasn't a true Marauder. He cared about people too much. He didn't have enough guts to do what we needed him to do." James said, still feeling a bit angry at Remus Lupin, even though this had happened a few years ago. "And poor Peter, I think he got a bit too enthusiastic when he attacked those Slytherins, and three of them were paralyzed for life. He was a great Marauder. I hope he's faring well in Azkaban, though." James laughed.

"Who really needs them, anyway?" Sirius said."They always held us back, especially Remus. Now together, just the two of us, we're unstoppable. We can do anything."

James nodded in agreement. If he had to pick one person to talk to and to plan with for the rest of his life, it would be Sirius. Sirius was like a brother to him; James was closer to him than to his parents.

"Talking about doing something, what do you say we get started with this potion, and get your girlfriend back under control," Sirius said, pushing aside some dried slugs so he could open the old, dusty book to the correct page.

"That sounds good to me," James smiled. The thought of Lily never being able to leave cheered him enormously. "How long does it take to make, anyway?"

"That's the best part," Sirius said. "It only takes an hour to brew. Then we can give it to Lily. You can have your girlfriend back under control by tonight."

"Let's do it, then," James said.

Sirius began reading the recipe out loud, and James started measuring ingredients, and neither felt a twinge of guilt as they mixed a potion that would make Lily totally miserable and unable to escape.

**I know not too much happened...but its leading up to other awesome chappies! **

**Cheers, can't wait to update! Hope everyone enjoys and reviews!**

**Bye, Dementors**


	5. Reunion

**Thank you for all the reviews: Snapegirlkmf, myk-myk, Alethea27, Mickiecuteknight, Rowanlyn-mirrim, Rhika, Saramagician, Lupinesence{love that pen name!}, Saint Snape**

**and to everyone who favorited the story and added it to their alerts! I love you all!**

**Sorry guys, but no ball-hexing in this chapter...although that would be fun to write!**

**I hope everyone's enjoying this story...I'm doing my best! I'm so OCD I'll read a chapter like three times before I post it, trying to make everything perfect and make sense, and then someone reviews and points out a mistake I made, and I feel so dumb! Anyway, hope this chappie is up to your expectations!**

**YAY! Long chapter!**

**CHAPTER FIVE 'Reunion'**

Lily opened her eyes and turned over, causing the sheets to make a crinkling sound. She sat up and looked around. Severus' letters were scattered around her. Suddenly she remembered what happened last night, how she left James in front of the bar. She had never done that before. It was like a feeling of freedom that she had never felt before when she was with James. It was like a heavy quilt was wrapped around her, denying her the ability to move, and it was suddenly lifted off for a few minutes, enabling her to walk away from James.

Lily glanced at the clock on her bedside table. It was already late in the afternoon. How could she have slept that long?

Lily pushed the blankets back and got out of bed just as someone knocked on her bedroom door.

"Lily?" her mother called. "Are you awake?"

"Yes."

"Are you feeling better?" Mrs. Evans asked as she opened the door.

"Yes, much better."

"Then I guess you'll be up to receiving a visitor?"

"It is James?" Lily heard a scrap of distaste infiltrate her words.

"No, it's another young man. He asked to see you, said he knew you from school. He didn't say his name, just said that you would know him. He looks familiar, but I can't put my finger on who it is..."

"Alright, I'll be down in a minute," Lily said, and her mother closed the door.

Lily wondered curiously who it could be as she changed her clothes and combed her hair. She peeked over the stair rail as she walked down the stairs, trying to catch a glimpse of the visitor.

"Lily, we're in here," Lily's mother called, hearing her come down.

Lily followed her mother's voice to the sitting room. There was a dark-haired man sitting there. When she entered the room, he stood, eyes suddenly gleaming in excitement.

"I'll just leave you two alone, then. I have to go do some grocery shopping anyway, your father is at work and Petunia is out with Vernon, so you have the house to yourselves." Mrs. Evans winked and left the room. This young man seemed very nice, much nicer then James Potter. There was just something about James that she didn't like, something that scared her. She had tried talking to Lily about James, trying to learn more about him, but Lily was very closed on the matter. She never really talked about James.

The only things Mrs. Evans knew about James were that he came from a fairly wealthy family, and he had an apartment but no job. He apparently lived off his parents' fortune, feeling as if he didn't have to work, he was too good for it. Unlike her Lily, who worked part-time at St. Mungo's as an apprentice Healer.

Mrs. Evans had a hunch that their relationship was not working, but she didn't want to interfere, although sometimes she couldn't help it. If Mrs. Evans happened to spot a handsome young man that looked right for Lily while they were shopping together, she would always point him out to Lily, but Lily always shook her head.

It would be nice if Lily could go out with this neat young man instead of James Potter. Mrs. Evans had seen the light that sparked in his eyes when they fell upon her daughter. Now that would be the right man for Lily.

Lily sat down, a bit embarrassed by her mother. She had a feeling that her mother could sense how horrible James was, and wanted them to break up. She was always pointing out young men to Lily in the stores. As if she didn't have her own eyes to notice them with. Speaking of handsome men...Lily stared at the man in front of her. He looked so familiar, but she didn't know who it was.

"I'm sorry, but what's your name?" Lily asked, feeling like she should know him. Something was nagging at the back of her mind, a boy from school...a name just out of her grasp...

The man's face fell, the gleam in his eyes extinguished. "You don't remember me?"

"I feel like I know you, but.."Lily felt guilty. It looked like the man's whole world had just been destroyed.

"Lily, it's me. Severus."

Lily looked at him in disbelief. He looked so different then he had in school, and his voice had even changed a bit. But it was him. She knew it was. She couldn't believe she hadn't known right away.

Lily suddenly blushed, remembering the things he wrote about her in the letters.

"Do you remember me?" Severus asked, pleading in his voice.

Lily remembered most of his letters saying that he hoped Lily didn't forget him. She did think of him occasionally, when James was reminiscing about his school days, but never really wondered what had happened to him, or how he was doing. Her mind was preoccupied with other things, mostly James.

"Yes, how could I forget, Sev." Lily said.

Severus perked up at hearing Lily's old nickname for him. He relaxed a bit.

"So, um, why did you come?" Lily asked, not looking him in the eyes, instead watching her fingers as they traced the pattern on the couch. She was still thinking about the letters.

"Well, I know it's been a while since we saw each other, but uh, I wanted to see how you were." Severus didn't want to just plow in to what he overheard Black and Potter saying, just in case he was wrong. He didn't hear very much, after all, just enough to make him suspicious.

"I'm okay, how are you?" Lily answered, still tracing the pattern.

"I'm fine," Severus replied.

They sat in awkward silence for a minute, each thinking of things they wanted to say, but unable to say them.

Lily wanted to tell Severus she did, in fact, read the letters that he had buried{she thought it was a bit ironic that the day after she read the letters Severus came to visit her}, and wished with all her heart that she had paid more attention to him in school, listened to what Severus had said about James being no good. Maybe, Severus would have asked her out if she had turned James down. Maybe she could have been happy with Severus now instead of miserable with James.

Severus really wanted to ask Lily about the things he heard Potter and Black saying and ask her if she was happy with Potter, if he was treating her right. And mostly, he wanted to tell her how he felt about her, but if she was happy with Potter, he didn't want to ruin that. But seeing her again for the first time in three years had given Severus' heart a jolt; he had forgotten the way that she smiled, the way her eyes twinkled, how beautiful she really was.

He had missed her more then he had imagined. True, the hurt he felt in school when she started ignoring him was horrible, but he had mostly gotten over it, contented himself with happy memories of him and Lily. Tried to block out the memories from school. But now he found himself thinking about the times at school that he had caught Lily staring at Potter, and how his and Lily's friendship ended...

Lily watched Potter in the classroom, when he was talking to his friends instead of listening to the professor. On the quidditch field, when he raced across the blue sky, just a red and gold blur in the air on his broom. Walking across the grounds, laughing with his friends, while he ran a hand through his black hair to make it stand on end.

Lily and Severus had been friends since they were young children, but little by little, they grew further apart as Lily tried to get Potter's attention. It seemed, at times, like she was completely obsessed with the dark-haired, dark-eyed chaser. Severus told her that he was a self-centered arrogant bastard, but his words went in one of Lily's ears and out the other. Severus couldn't understand how she could block out all the horrible things Potter did, not just to him, but to other students also, who he thought little of.

Soon, Severus and Lily stopped talking all together, when Potter finally noticed the pretty red-head that was following him around in an almost stalker-like fashion and asked her out.

Severus heart fell as he watched Lily walking in front on him, her hand tightly clasped within Potter's, heading down the path toward Hogsmeade for their first date. She laughed at something Potter said. Normally the tinkling sound would warm Severus inside, but today he felt cold. She didn't even know he was there behind her. He was nothing. She didn't even turn around when Potter's best mate, Sirius black, pushed Severus down into the muddy ground and said, "Go back to the hole you came from, Snivellus."

When Severus next looked up, wiping thick, gooey mud from his eyes, Lily, Potter and Black were gone, and Severus wished he was gone, too. Severus wished he had had the courage to ask Lily out himself, but Potter had got there before him.

Severus still watched Lily during the school year, heart dropping when he saw her walking with Potter, talking to him, kissing him. He wanted to pull his pure, beautiful Lily off of that disgusting filth, and he had tried to talk her about Potter while they were waiting to enter Potions, but she had simply waved him off, and flounced away to talk to her other friends. Obviously, she had mentioned their talk to Potter, because he sent his thugs, Black and Pettigrew, to seek out Severus. Remus Lupin was not there; Severus rather felt bad for him. Lupin did not seem like the same arrogant type as the other Marauders. He seemed like a lonely boy who had been pulled in by the allure of friendship, and became trapped.

And Potter was not there, probably off with Lily, snogging somewhere. So Black and Pettigrew were alone when they cornered Severus coming out of the library late one night. Black pushed Severus against a cold stone wall, and placed his hands on the wall, one hand on either side of Severus' face. Black glared at Severus with loathing before speaking.

"You better not bother Lily anymore, Snivellus," Black snarled into Severus' face, while Pettigrew nodded eagerly in the background. "She doesn't want to talk to you, or be seen with you anymore. She doesn't want to be associated with someone who dabbles in the Dark Arts. So you go on, and practice your dark spells, and leave her be."

Severus frowned. It seemed a common rumor that he practiced the Dark Arts, but it wasn't true. His dorm mates did, but he didn't participate, he simply watched them with disgust. Everyone figured that since he was Slytherin, he was scum, a Voldemort-worshiping freak to be shunned and spit on, even though not all Slytherins turned out bad. It was just a stereotype.

"Are you listening, Snivellus?" Black hissed, and Severus nodded. "You make sure you don't bother Lily again, or you'll have us to deal with. And it'll be worse then usual. You understand?"

Severus nodded again, and Black tapped the side of Severus' cheek lightly. "Good." Then the Marauders left.

Severus wasn't exactly afraid of the Marauders, but he didn't want any more trouble then they already gave him. It wasn't like him to retaliate with spells, so he usually just took it, and tried to avoid the Marauders when he could. He just wanted to be left alone, and didn't want to cause any more trouble or tension between him and the Marauders, so he stayed away from Lily and admired her from a distance. She never tried to talk to him, never said hello when they passed in the hallways. She didn't come to the Slytherin table anymore to say good morning, didn't study with him in the library. There were no more walks around the lake, or through the shallow edges of the Forbidden Forest, or in Hogsmeade. She was doing those things with Potter instead. So Severus watched for the remainder of their school days as Lily went around with Potter, wishing it was him with Lily.

When their graduation ceremony was over, Severus eyed Lily, her red hair shining in the sun, cheeks rosy, dress flowing around her, thinking maybe he would try to talk to her one last time. Since he was leaving school, the Marauders wouldn't be able to torture him anymore. As Severus headed over to Lily, trying to look confident and happy{actually, he was happy, finally leaving this horrid school}, Potter was suddenly there, and he pulled Lily into a long kiss, Black and Pettigrew and Lupin watching from nearby. They broke apart, and Potter spun Lily around, her dress flaring around her.

Severus felt tears in his eyes and he walked quickly away, blinking rapidly. He left the grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the image of Lily and Potter burning in his mind.

After that, he got a job at the potions shop. He left his parents' house in the middle of the night, without saying goodbye. They wouldn't care that he left, they probably wouldn't even notice that he was gone. But he never forgot Lily.

"So, do you want anything to drink?" Lily asked, breaking the silence, and Severus' thoughts.

"No thank you." Severus replied, and decided to touch upon the subject of Potter. "So, are you ah, still going out with Potter?"

"Yes," Lily said, before she remembered that she was going to break up with him.

"So you're happy with him? You get along well?" Severus asked, genuine concern in his voice, as if he knew how James treated her.

"Um, well.." Lily didn't want to tell Severus the truth, but she didn't want to totally lie to him either. Maybe, after this fling with James was finally over, after she could get away, she could tell Sev everything... but maybe he wouldn't want to be with her anymore, after how she had ignored him after their last years of school. Maybe he even had a girlfriend, or even a wife. She wished again that he hadn't been drawn in by James' good looks and his attitude, wished Severus was her boyfriend instead.

Poor Sev. She was the only friend he had in school, and what did she do? She went out with his worst enemy, when he loved her more then anything in the world. The hurt that he must have felt...Lily couldn't even imagine. Lily felt some tears drip down her cheeks out of guilt of what she did to Severus, and frustration with herself.

"Lily, what's wrong? Did he do anything to you?" Severus asked, and Lily was startled by the anger in his voice.

"No, we just had a fight last night." Lily said, wiping her tears. "But I'm going to sort everything out today."

"Did he hurt you?" Severus looked like he could kill.

"No," Lily lied, and she felt a ghost sting on her cheeks from James' slap. "I'm fine."

Severus felt that Lily wasn't telling him the whole truth, but he didn't want to push her, not when they were actually talking for the first time in four or five years.

If she was in real trouble, Severus thought. She would tell me, and I could help. So I guess she really is getting along fine with Potter.

"Well, Severus, I actually have to go see James now, so.." Lily said, not wanting to talk to Severus any more right now. She was afraid she would fall apart if she did, and tell him everything. And then he would go sort James out. But this was something Lily had to do herself, something she had to end. While she still had the courage to do so.

"Oh." Severus took the hint. She wanted him to leave so she could patch things up with Potter. "I guess I'll go then."

Lily sensed the disappointment in his voice, knowing that he wanted to stay, but she wanted this to be over with James, and then she and Severus could talk more.

Lily led Severus to the front door, and he pulled it open quickly, wanting to leave, feeling more depressed then he had in a long time. Here he had another chance with Lily, and it was gone.

Lily caught Severus' arm before he exited. "Why don't you come over tomorrow, and we can catch up more? You just caught me at a bad time right now."

Severus perked up immediately, and Lily smiled.

"Yes, I can come tomorrow." Severus said, his heart beating very quickly. Did this mean Lily wasn't pushing him away again for Potter? That they could at least be friends again?

"I'll see you tomorrow, then, " Lily said, and kissed Severus softly on the cheek. "Bye, Sev."

Severus stood on Lily's front stoop for a minute after she had closed the door, savoring the moment. Lily's kiss, the smell of her perfume...maybe it wasn't too late after all. He had felt something in her kiss, heard something in her voice-regret, perhaps?- like she wanted him to stay and talk, like she wanted to be with him. Maybe Lily could be his Lily after all, and not Potter's Lily. Severus was light-hearted as he hopped off the stoop and twirled around, apparating back to Diagon Alley.

Maybe I'll buy some nice clothes for tomorrow, Severus thought, excitement rising already in anticipation for his meeting with Lily the next day.

If Severus had waited one more minute before apparating, he would have seen Potter appearing at the end of the block with Sirius Black, Potter with a bottle full of some evil looking black liquid in his left hand.

**I hope you enjoyed Severus' little memories that I added...I had written them for something else, but I think they work well here. I know he seemed kind of weak, as opposed to canon, where he'll take any chance to hex the Marauders, but this is AU. That's what fanfiction is all about! **

**Until next chapter,**

**Dementors**

**Please review!**


	6. Complete Control

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for the reviews: visitor, hummingpetal, Saint Snape, myk-myk, Lavina, hervissa, Alethea27, Saramagician, Rhika!**

**And everyone who favorited and added this to their alert!**

**CHAPTER SIX "Complete Control"**

Lily felt happy and encouraged by Severus' visit. She didn't realize until now, but she had missed him terribly. He was always a true friend who she could talk to and share her feeling with, until James came along. She could share things with him that she couldn't share with James, and even if she did, he didn't want to hear it.

She found herself thinking about Severus' eyes as she headed back upstairs to get her wand before going to see James. The way they sparked when he saw her. James' eyes never did that. Perhaps with distaste, or anger sometimes, but never with love, like Severus.

Lily cursed herself again. How could she have been such a fool not to see it before, and instead have to endure five years with James when she could have been happy {and Severus could have been happy too, she reminded herself}.

Lily suddenly wanted to call Severus back, to fold herself into his arms and apologize to him, to let him know that it was over with James. The pull was so strong she actually felt herself going back to the door, but she knew he would be gone already.

There was a loud, cracking knock on the door, and Lily jumped. It couldn't be Severus could it? She had told him to come back tomorrow, there was no reason for him to be standing behind that door...

But Lily found herself eagerly pulling open the door, hoping to see those eyes again. But instead, there were two pairs of eyes there, attached to two people she hated most in the world.

"Hey, sweetheart," James said, and Lily's heart froze.

James stepped inside, and Sirius followed, closing the door behind him.

"What is he doing here?" Lily gestured to Sirius. For some reason, she felt terrified.

"He's just helping me out with something," James grinned that lopsided grin of his, walking closer to Lily, who had stepped back.

"I want you to leave," Lily said shrilly, feeling in her pockets for her wand. But that's right, her wand was upstairs.

"No, I don't think so," James said quietly, and Sirius snickered.

"I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore! We're done! I don't like the way you treat me, so I'm ending this." Lily said, trying not to let her fear enter her voice, keeping Severus' face in her mind to encourage herself. "Go on, leave. I don't want to see you again."

"Well, that's too bad, Lily, because it's not up to you. It's up to me." James raised the bottle he was holding and swirled the black contents. They sloshed against the sides, looking like an evil black cloud trying to escape. "This is for you, Lily. I made it today. This will prevent you from ever leaving, so you'll stay with me forever."

Lily gasped, and ran toward the stairs, thinking if somehow she could get to her wand, she would be alright. She was more then a match for James with magic. But Sirius quickly flicked his wand, and Lily felt her ankle pulled by an invisible hand. She fell to the floor, and James kneeled beside her quickly. Lily tried to scramble away, but Sirius grabbed her arms and held her down.

"Let me go!" Lily screamed, and tried to kick James, but he sat on her legs.

"Don't worry, Lily, soon it'll just be you and me forever. Maybe we'll even get married." James guffawed loudly and pulled the cork out of the bottle. Fear rose in Lily,and she struggles harder, trying to push James off, but he was too heavy.

"Wow, she really is a fighter, James. I can see why you want to keep her. You were always into feisty women," Sirius said, trying to maintain his grip on Lily.

"Open wide, sweetheart," James said.

She turned her head away, and squeezed her lips shut tightly. Whatever this black liquid was, it couldn't be good. She knew that they would get it down her throat eventually, but she wasn't going to just give up. She suddenly thought of Severus; now they would never be together. She would be stuck with James forever. She would never know true love. Tears rolled down her face onto the carpet as James grabbed her chin and twisted her face around so that she was looking at him. She fought as hard as she could, but it was useless.

"Open your mouth," James said again, but Lily kept her lips sealed shut.

"Fine, if you want to do this the hard way," James released his hold on Lily's face and took out his wand. "Crucio!"

Lily screamed; it felt like knives were being stuck in every part of her body, it felt like her flesh was being torn off, like she was being burned alive...

James took advantage of Lily's open mouth to pour the black potion down her throat. She coughed, choking on the bitter liquid, and couldn't help but swallow most of it.

Sirius looked at James in admiration. "That was a brilliant idea, Prongs. I would have never thought of it."

James smiled, then said, "Let's see if this works now." He got up off Lily's legs, and Sirius released her arms. They stared at Lily for a moment, ready to react if she tried to run away again, but she lay on the rug, her red hair splayed around her, and her eyes dull and terrified-looking.

"I think it worked!" Sirius said excitedly. "Now put the Mind Control charm back on her, too!"

James performed the spell, and then willed Lily to stand up and come over to him. Her mind seemed weak again, easily controlled. It seemed as if Lily were fighting desperately with herself to stay where she was, but eventually she got up and stood in front of James.

"See?" James said, twisting a lock of her hair between his fingers. "Everything will be fine now."

James pressed his lips against Lily's and she felt like throwing up. She tried to pull away but she couldn't.

"Sirius, I think this combination might work. It seems like the potion strengthened the charm. Maybe she won't be able to become immune to it again. I might be able to completely control her now. Who knows what I can make her do? I can't wait to experiment." James said, breaking the kiss. "Thank you for finding the potion."

Sirius grinned. "Thank my parents, who had the book in with their collection of dark literature."

"Could you give us a minute, Sirius? I want to talk to Lily in private, get some things straight." James said, and Sirius nodded, stepping back outside to wait.

As soon as Sirius left, James turned back to Lily, who felt fear rising in her like lava, burning her insides. What was he going to do?

"I want you to understand what you did was wrong, leaving me in front of the bar. It makes me look bad. And if I look bad, that's means you're gonna look bad too." James slapped Lily as hard as he could, and left an angry red mark on her face.

"You're never going to be able to leave me again. You're going to do what I say and enjoy it. Because from now on, you are my possession. I own you."

Lily tried to shake her head, but she couldn't, no matter how hard she tried.

"I had you under my control for most of the time we were together, you know." James said, and made Lily sit down on the couch. "Didn't you ever wonder why you did whatever I wanted when you were with me? It was a dark charm, Lily, and it worked perfectly until you started fighting it, becoming immune. That night at the bar was the last straw. You broke through even if you didn't know it. So I found this potion. And using them together, well, the results are wonderful, wouldn't you say?" James slapped her again, but Lily couldn't pull away, or cry out, because James wouldn't let her.

Lily was stunned by his words. She had been under his mind control? Was that the reason she always had an odd feeling when she was with him? Why she always did what he wanted, without even thinking why she was doing it? But it was nothing compared to the feeling she was having now; she could feel something strange coursing through her body, like electricity. If she understood correctly, James had been using this mind control charm on her, and when she had started becoming immune to it, he had found this potion, and then mixed the two. Who knew what the result would be? Maybe she would eventually become a slave, lose all of her individuality, her spirit, her thoughts, and do whatever James wanted, without even trying to fight.

She was a fool for not telling Severus. He might have been able to help her. They couldn't gone to the Ministry, or something. But she had wanted to fix this by herself, because of her pride and stubborness, and where had it gotten her? She might even die from this combination of Dark Magic.

Lily felt James release his hold on her mind for a moment, and she pleaded, "James, please. Don't do this. Let me go. I won't tell anybody."

"Oh, but you will, Lily. I know you. You'd want to make sure I didn't hurt anyone else. Besides," James said, sitting next to her. "I want you all to myself." James kissed her again, and she felt revolted. Tears trickled down her face.

James pulled away, and stared thoughtfully at Lily for a minute. "Now, I don't know how this is going to work if I leave you alone. You might tell your parents about this, so I guess we're getting married. You can come live with me, and stay in the apartment. You'll always be there when I need you." James smiled, and cracked his knuckles, and Lily felt terrified. Being locked up in James' apartment, waiting for him to come home so he could do whatever he wanted to her...never being able to get away.

_But I don't want to marry you,_ Lily thought. _I hate you, and I want Severus to come save me and take me away from you._

"We have to make this look convincing. I can't just take you now. So you can start packing, and tell your parents tonight that I asked for your hand in marriage,"

_Asked?_ Lily thought. _More like took,_

"And you're going to move in with me right away, because you're so happy and excited. You've been waiting for a proposal forever, tell them. And I finally proposed." James slid a finger down Lily's cheek and continued down her neck to her collarbone. Chills ran down Lily's back.

"I'll try to control your mind, but I don't know if it'll work from a distance, so you'd better not try anything. If you do, well then you'll have to pay the consequences." James said menacingly."I have to go now, but I can't wait to come back tomorrow for my bride-to-be, and sweep her off her feet." James stood up, and looked down at Lily on the couch. Lily stood, feeling James pulling her up.

"Just remember what I said. Think about the ones you love before you try and save yourself, Lily, since you're so into saving others. Remember, they aren't magical. They can't protect themselves from _me_. Oh, speaking of magic, I think I'll take your wand too, so you can't try anything." James raised his own wand, and summoned Lily's wand from upstairs and tucked it into his pocket.

"And just as a reminder not to ever, ever disobey me again," James suddenly swung his fist as hard as he could, his punch full of the anger that she had caused him to feel when she left. It connected with her abdomen. Lily heard something crack, then a tremendous pain in her middle.

"I'll see you tomorrow," James touched Lily's pale face and smiled. "This next stage of your life is going to be better then you ever imagined."

James left the house, with Lily's wand in his pocket, and her life in his hands.

Once James' left, she felt his control on her slacken a bit, although she still felt like she was tied to him. Lily collapsed on the couch and cried until she didn't have any tears left in her, trying to ignore the shooting pain in her abdomen. When she was done crying, she used her shirt to wipe her face, and slowly raised it to expose her stomach.

On the left side of her ribcage, an angry purple and yellow mark marred the landscape of Lily's smooth white stomach.

She thought he might have broken a rib, because as she ran her hand over the swelling bruise, she felt a raised bump that hurt terribly when she prodded it. It hurt when she stood, and when she breathed. But she couldn't go to the hospital. If she let outsiders in, she might have to 'pay the consequences'. She would just have to deal with it. Maybe James would heal it for her. But he probably wouldn't. He would enjoy seeing her in pain, and preventing her from doing anything about it.

She went to the kitchen, walking slowing, to get some ice. Maybe it would numb the area a bit and bring down the swelling.

Emotions swirled within her; she was afraid, and angry at James, but also frustrated with herself. How could she be this stupid to make the worst decision of her life? The decision of going out on that first date with James had completely ruined the rest of her life. Now she would marry him, and never be able to see how things would have gone with Severus. Lily was almost tempted to see if she could go to Severus for help, but she was afraid that James might find out somehow and she'd have to pay the consequences. She would not put it past James to kill her family. No, it would be better or her to suffer, then to get her family{and Severus} involved, and have them suffer too. She could see clearly, as if on a t.v. screen, her mother, father, and sister, screaming as James tortured them with the Cruciartus. Then he would kill them slowly with horrible dark spells, courtesy of Sirius' dark books. And she imagined Severus trying to defend her, save her, but James destroying him, cursing him until nothing would be left.

She couldn't let that happen. She would just have to deal with it, just like she was dealing with the broken rib, and 'pay the consequences' of going on that first date with James Potter.

**OMG! OMG! What's going to happen next? Even I don't know, I can't wait to find out!**

**Please, please review, I appreciate it so much when you do! Hugs and cookies to everybody who reviews!**

**Dementors**


	7. Wedding Talk and Intervention

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for the reviews: Althea27, Saramagician, Saint Snape, Lupinescense, Prince-Slytherin, Snapegirlkmf, hervissa, visitor, myk-myk, Ani-PadmeForever.**

**And everyone who favorited and added this to their alerts! Thanks!**

**Also, we got some parent action going on here! Mrs. Evans to the rescue, perhaps?**

**CHAPTER SEVEN 'Wedding Talk and Intervention'**

Lily pushed a chunk of steak around on her plate, contemplating how to begin her little speech that she had been rehearsing since James left. She looked up at her mother, her father, and Petunia sitting around the dinner table.

They were all chatting about their day: the people her mother saw while running errands, how romantic Vernon was on Petunia's date today, her father's clients{he was a lawyer}.

Lily put down her fork. She was afraid that her family would be able to tell that she wasn't enthusiastic about James' proposal. But she had to tell them, she couldn't just leave, and have them wonder what happened to her.

"I have something I need to tell everyone," Lily said, and her family looked at her. "Um, well I'm going to be moving out,"

Mrs. Evans looked shocked, and Mr. Evans said, "Where? How come we didn't know about this before? Did you find someplace already?"

"Actually, I'm going to move in with James." Every time she said his name now, or even thought it, she felt a bubble of fear inside her, and she felt a twinge in her abdomen where her rib was broken.

"Absolutely not!" Mr. Evans said, being the usual protective father. He was not going to let one of his daughters move in with a man.

"Well, he actually asked me to marry him, and I said..I said yes." How Lily wished she could tell her family the truth! But she didn't want them to get hurt.

"He's that wizard freak, that you've been going out with, isn't he?" Petunia sneered. "I guess he's the only one who would have you, huh? Freaks stick together."

"Petunia, not now," Mrs. Evans said, then looked closely at her other daughter. "Lily, is everything all right?"

"Yes," Lily said. Had her mother sensed her revulsion, her shame, her disappointment, at marrying James?

"Do you really want to marry him?" Mrs. Evans asked, prodding more.

"Yes, I'm very happy, and excited. I've been waiting for a proposal forever," Lily replied, remembering what James had told her to say.

"When did he ask you?" Mr. Evans asked. Mr. Evans didn't know much about James. Lily didn't really talk about him too much, unlike Petunia, who was always talking about Vernon Dursely, and how wonderful and romantic he is. He was usually at work when James came to pick Lily up, and Lily usually came home alone.

"He came over this afternoon, and proposed."

"And he just left, without staying to tell us with you?" Mr. Evans said. In his days, the groom actually asked the father for permission to marry his daughter. They had some manners. He would like to talk to this man and learn more about him before his daughter was whisked away.

"Well, he had some things to do..." Lily said, knowing that it sounded stupid. She was making it sound like an errand James was running: pick up groceries, check, go to the bank, check, propose to Lily, check.

"Did you discuss anything about the wedding yet?" Her father prodded, now thinking about weddings costs.

"No, not yet, but I'm going to start packing tonight and James is going to pick me up tomorrow, and help me move."

"Don't you think you should wait until you're married?" Mrs, Evans asked, still studying her daughter.

Lily shook her head. "No, Mum. We belong together, so why wait?"

"If you're sure..." Mrs. Evans did want to tell her daughter who she could marry, but she had hoped something would have come of the nice man that had visited that afternoon.

"So I can talk to James tomorrow?" Mr. Evans said. "I would like to know a little more about him before he becomes my son-in-law."

"Yes, but he's just coming over to pick me up, then we have to, ah, do some shopping for the wedding. He can't stay that long." Lily said. She didn't want her parents talking to James. If they found out more about James, they might try and convince her not to marry him, and then what would she do? "I think I'm going to start packing now, actually. I can't even eat, I'm so excited!" She couldn't stay here for one more minute, or she would start crying again. And she didn't want to take the chance of blurting everything out. Lily pushed her chair back and stood up, not noticing her mother and father's stares. Lily walked as quickly as she could to her room, closed the door, and took a deep breath. She tried to ignore the burning in her throat and her eyes, but she couldn't stop the tears. Lily pressed a pillow against her face, trying to block her sobs.

Back downstairs, Mrs. Evans turned to her husband. "Could you leave us for a minute, Petunia?"

Petunia did so, for once not arguing, but mumbling to herself, "Precious Lily, always about Lily,"

"Henry," Mrs. Evans said quietly. "Something's wrong."

"Of course there, is Kathy. The boy couldn't even talk to us first." Mr. Evans said. "The manners today.."

Mrs. Evans rolled her eyes. "I'm not talking about manners. I'm talking about Lily. Usually, when a girl is getting married, they can't stop talking about it, and planning. But Lily doesn't want to talk about it at all. It seems like she just wants to forget about it."

It was Mr. Evans turn to roll his eyes. "Honestly, she _was_ just talking about it."

"Yes, but not in detail, just the facts. '_I'm getting married.' 'I'm moving in with James._' Nothing about the wedding, like she doesn't even care."

"Are you sure this isn't another of your crazy assumptions?"

"You're not a woman, so you wouldn't know what I'm talking about. But I'm sure something isn't right. I'm going to talk to Lily." Mrs. Evans said, getting up suddenly.

"Don't go upsetting her," Mr. Evans called after his wife, and he returned to his dinner, his thoughts on wedding bills and son-in-laws without manners.

A light knock sounded on Lily's door. "Lily?" Mrs. Evans called. "I'm coming in,"

Lily hurriedly wiped her face with the pillowcase as her mother opened the door. Mrs. Evans closed it behind her, and took in her daughter's red eyes. "Lily, tell me what's going on. I know you're upset about something."

"Nothing's wrong. Everything is fine."

"Lily, I am your mother. Don't lie to me. Tell me, now!" Mrs. Evans demanded. She wanted to help her daughter, and felt frustrated that Lily wasn't being honest.

"I can't!" Lily cried, finally breaking.

Mrs. Evans stared at her red-haired daughter sobbing uncontrollably on the floor, and felt scared.

She bent down next to Lily and pulled her into a hug. "Of course you can tell me, you can tell me anything."

"No," Lily looked up, her green eyes full of fright. "I can't."

"Is it something with James?Is he forcing you to marry him? Did he threaten you in some way?" Mrs. Evans asked. She didn't like James, and it seemed like he might do something like this.

Lily didn't answer, but that was an answer in itself.

"Well, you're not going to marry him. Your father will stay home from work tomorrow, and we'll talk to him," Mrs. Evans said sternly. She would not let her daughter marry a horrible man.

Lily paled. "You can't!"

"We are your parents, and we are here to protect you."

"But,_ I'm_ protecting _you_! If I don't marry James, I'll have to pay the consequences! And that means he's going to hurt my family! And I can't even defend you, because James took my wand! So I have to marry him, to protect you all." Lily said, willing to tell her mother everything so she would understand. "And he gave me a potion so I can never leave him. He also put a charm on me, so he can control me."

"I can't let you marry him." Mrs. Evans was touched that her daughter was willing to sacrifice her life for her family, but she wouldn't be able to live with herself knowing that Lily was miserable. And how dare that man control her daughter with magic? The pig. Who could help them, though? She suddenly remembered the young man from the afternoon. "What about that young man who was here today? He's a wizard isn't he? He can help. He can take the charm off."

"Who, Severus?" Lily said. "I can't bring him into this, too. I don't want him to get hurt."

"Severus?" Mrs. Evans said. "Severus Snape, who lived on Spinner's End? That's who the young man was?"

"Yes. And I can't drag him into this because I..." Lily had been about to say love him, but she had a feeling her mother would smile, even in this horrible situation.

But Mrs. Evans knew anyway. "You have feelings for him, don't you?"

"That's not the point right now." Lily felt herself blushing a bit. "I can't let any of you get hurt because of something stupid that I did."

"Well, I can't let my daughter marry someone just because they threatened her. What kind of life would that be for you?"

"Mum!" Lily cried, exasperated. "Please, just forget about it!"

"No, I will not! I'll go find Severus, and he can help."

"He doesn't live at Spinner's End anymore. He moved. And I don't have an address or anything."

"Is he coming back to visit you?"

"I told him to come back tomorrow!" Lily gasped, remembering. What would happen if Severus was still here when James came? He abused Severus so much in school, and now that they were adults, who knows what James would do to him? Maybe Crucio him until he begged James to stop? Maybe James would use some other dark curse?

"That's perfect! Severus will be here to help when James comes."Mrs. Evans said.

"No, he won't. I'll tell him to leave. And you don't say anything to him about James!" Lily said stubbornly.

Mrs. Evans raised her eyebrows. "Really? You think I'm not going to say something to someone who can save my daughter?"

Tears streamed down Lily's cheeks. James would destroy Severus, and Lily wouldn't be able to handle that. "Please, I'm begging you, don't. He'll kill Sev."

"No, he won't. If there's anything I learned in my life, it's that love is strong. It makes you powerful, determined. I can tell Severus loves you more then anything, Lily. I even had a hunch when he was younger, the way he looked at you, and talked about you, but you can't tell for sure when children are that young. Then he stopped coming around, and you told me that the two of you just drifted apart. But now I'm sure, after seeing him today. And I can tell you feel that same. I don't want you to marry someone you don't love, and who treats you horribly, when the perfect man for you has been waiting his whole life to be with you."

Lily opened her mouth to argue again, but Mrs. Evans shushed her. "_I_ will be here when Severus comes, and _I_ will tell him everything."

Mrs. Evans left Lily's room, closing the door behind her. She was afraid for herself and her family, but she couldn't let her daughter marry James. She knew in her heart all along that James was no good, and felt a strange satisfaction knowing that she was right. Her only hope was Severus Snape, and Mrs. Evans believed that he could help them.

Lily felt like her insides were going to explode. Her mother would tell Severus, and Severus would stay to deal with James{Sirius would probably come too, just in case James needed help} and she would lose everyone she's ever loved. She couldn't let her mother tell Sev. She would stop her somehow...lock her in the closet or something. She had to protect her family.

**I hope this chapter came out okay. For some reason, I had trouble writing it. I was having trouble writing Mr. and Mrs. Evans...**

**Oh well,*shrugs.* If it's not good, I'm sure somebody will let me know. **

**Please reviewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! ;) :) :0 **


	8. Realization

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for the reviews: Lethbridge, Ani-Padmeforever, Prince-Slytherin, Snapegirlkmf, Saint Snape, Lupinescence, Sev Snape's Girl, Jaspreet, Althea27, myk-myk, saramagician, Jessica, visitor**

**And to everyone who favorited and added the story to their alert. I appreciate all the support, it makes me so happy!**

**I wrote this really quick, hope it's okay. Sorry it's kinda short.**

**CHAPTER EIGHT "Realization"**

James looked around his apartment. He wondered how it would be to have Lily live here. He certainly wouldn't have any more quiet moments to himself; she would always be there from now on. But, in a strange way, James felt that it would be good to have someone waiting for him, someone that would always be there, even if it was against her will.

At that thought James smiled; the potion-charm combination worked better then he had ever imagined. He had thought that this potion would only be a temporary solution, that he would have to find something else, but now he knew it was perfect. He could _feel_ it. This would keep Lily under control forever. She would never be able to get away from him.

The only thing he was worried about was the wedding. He'd rather just have Sirius perform the Binding Charm that was put on the bride and groom at weddings to signify their love and devotion for each other {it was nothing like the potion-charm, preventing one from leaving, just something to help you get through times of trouble, help you remember good times}. But the Evans might insist on throwing a big wedding, even if Lily protested. And James did not want to talk to Lily's family. He'd rather keep his distance, like what he had been doing through their years of dating. It was better that way. Don't ever let the parents get too familiar with you, just in case something happens.

Oh, well, if there was going to be a big wedding, he would just have to deal with it.

He walked into the bedroom. How would it feel having another warm body sleeping next to him? This time not just some random girl, but a wife? He pictured Lily's things intermingled with his. Her toothbrush next to his. Folded up blouses in the dresser. Hand cream on the night table.

It suddenly hit James so hard that he had to sit on the bed. He was getting married. Somehow, he always imagined himself as a bachelor, always able to go with different girls, whoever he chose. Of course, he would still do that, and Lily couldn't say anything, but it wouldn't be the same for him, knowing that he was married.

When James had said to Lily that they were going to get married, he was still thinking about ways to control her; he hadn't really_ thought_ about it. Now, it hit him like a tidal wave. He was going to be a husband, going to have a wife. Maybe a child? James shuddered. No way. He couldn't let that happen. He hated kids. They were disgusting, annoying brats, especially when they were babies. They took up too much time.

James shook his head, trying to clear these thoughts of wives and babies. He was going to pick Lily up tomorrow to come live with him, and that was that. It wouldn't affect him, really. It would be like having a live-in maid. Or servant, might be a better word. He could have Lily do whatever he wanted, when he wanted, and she couldn't say no.

James got up, thinking he might head out for a few drinks to clear his mind, maybe hit on some hot chicks. As he left the apartment, some tiny part of him in the back of his mind, so far back that he wasn't really paying attention to it, was wondering, "Why are you going through all this trouble for a woman? Getting married, what's up with that?"

But maybe, deep down, really,_ really_ deep down, he loved Lily, and wanted to keep her with him, even though he was incapable of showing his love, and acted like a drunk jackass all the time. Or he just had extreme possessive issues, like all the other spoiled children out there, grabbing everything they want, and not taking no for an answer.

**I know it was short! But don't worry, I'll try to post another chapter tomorrow to make up for it! **

**Please review! Ciao for now!**

**Dementors**


	9. Desperation

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for the reviews: Sev Snape's girl, hummingpetal, Ani-Padmeforever, Snapegirlkmf, Professor Radar, Lupinesence, myk-myk, KidouSeverus**

**And to everyone who favorited and added the story to their alert. I appreciate all the support, it makes me so happy!**

**CHAPTER NINE "Desperation"**

Lily lay in her bed, eyes wide in the darkness. Images were flashing through her mind at an incredible speed. First, there were ones from the past, when Lily and Severus hung out together and played as children, the good times they had before James. Then, more recent memories: James flirting with women, hitting her, drinking with Sirius. Then she began to picture how her future might look like: sitting in James' apartment in the dark, waiting for him to come home, drunk out of his mind, so he could take his rage out on her. James bringing home other women, and telling her to stay in the bathroom so they could have privacy. Wanting to leave, opening the front door, but unable to go further, being pulled back by an invisible force. James on top of her, kissing her with breath that smelt like firewhiskey.

Lily shuddered. She had no doubt that those things would happen. Maybe they would even start tomorrow, after James took her to his apartment. A single, silent tear dripped from the corner of her eye, and fell onto a crinkled corner of parchment that was sticking out from under her pilllow: Severus' letters.

Not too far away, Severus stirred in his sleep, dreaming of a woman with a flaming waterfall of hair cascading down her back, and with wide emerald green eyes.

Lily was still awake, staring at the ceiling and thinking, when the morning sun peeked over the horizon. Still awake when Severus rose, his thoughts full of his Sweet Lily, hoping his dreams might come true.

Lily paced back and forth in her room, trying to think what to do. She knew her mother must have told her father about James last night. Mrs. Evans would make him stay home from work, so he could confront James.

Lily couldn't let her family get hurt! If only she still had her wand, she would hex James all the way to hell, where he could live with all the other devil spawn. But she didn't, so she would have to find a muggle way of remedying the situation.

She would have to find some way of preventing her mother from talking to Sev, and a way to keep her parents from talking to James. And she would have to do it soon.

Lily opened her bedroom door and walked down the hallway. She could hear the shower running in the bathroom, and her father humming a tune. She silently went down to the garage, tiptoeing past the kitchen, where her mother was making breakfast, and took a screwdriver from her father's toolbox. Her father was still humming when she got back to the bathroom. Lily took a deep breath before she started. Using the screwdriver she removed the knob from the door, and pulled it out. She could hear the knob from the other side plunk onto the tiled bathroom floor, but the shower water still was running, so Mr. Evans probably hadn't noticed it.

Lily shoved the knob and the screwdriver into her pocket and went back downstairs.

"Mum?" Lily said entering the kitchen. "Do you know where my old schoolbooks are?" Of course Lily knew they were in the basement, but she wanted her mother to get them, so she could lock her down there.

Mrs. Evans ignored the question at first, and instead studied her daughter's pale, drawn face, the dark circles under her eyes.

"Are you okay, Lily?" Mrs. Evans asked.

"Yes, but I need the books because.." Lily tried to think of a good reason. "I think I remember a potion that might be able to cancel out the one James gave to me. I just can't remember where I saw it..."

Mrs. Evans face lit up. "Really? So you can get rid of the effects his potion had on you?"

"Yes, but I need the books."

"Just sit down, and I'll get them for you. They're in the basement." Mrs. Evans started for the doorway, but before she could leave, Lily hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear, "I love you, Mum."

Mrs. Evans patted Lily on the back and smiled. "I love you too, dear. Now let me go get those books for you, so we can fix this."

Lily watched her mother open the door that led to the basement, and close the door behind her. Lily slid the small metal rod into the lock so the door couldn't be opened. Then she went to the living room and collapsed on the couch, her eyes stuck on the front door.

What was she doing, locking her parents up so they couldn't help her? She didn't even know what was going to happen next. James would probably just take her away, and she would never see her parents again. That is, if he didn't do something horrible to them first because they found out about him. How could she hide the fact that they knew about him? Maybe she could just say that they weren't at home, and she had told them that they were going to get married, and they didn't want a wedding. She would find some way to convince him.

A sudden banging sound made her jump.

"Lily! Let me out!" Mrs. Evans screamed from downstairs. "Lily! Don't do this! Let us help you!"

Lily wandered back over to the basement door. "I can't let you out, because you'll talk to Sev, and then you'll try to get rid of James. I can't let you get hurt. I have to protect you. Just remember that I always love you, Mum, and I'm doing this for you, and Dad and Petunia."

"Lily Evans, you let me out right now!"

Lily ignored her mother and decided to brings the things she had packed downstairs for when James came.

"Kathy? Lily? Petunia? Anybody there?" Lily saw her father's eye peeking through the hole where the knob had been.

"I'm here, Daddy." Lily knelt by the door.

"The knob must have come loose... is the other part on that side?"

"I have it," Lily said.

"Could you put it back in so I can get out?"

"No, I can't let you out."

Mr. Evans' eye looked surprised. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want you talking to James."

"Lily, is this about what your mother told me last night about James forcing you to marry him?"

Lily didn't answer.

"Lily, we have to stop this. I won't let you marry that man."

"I'm doing it to protect all of you. If I don't, he'll do horrible things to you. You can't stop him from taking me, anyway. He has magic." Lily got up.

"Lily, where are you going? You let me out!" Mr. Evans started pounding against the door.

Lily entered her room. It was like she was in a fog. She locked her parents up. She was going to marry James. None of it seemed real. She grabbed the two bags that she had packed the night before, and she swept her eyes over her room sadly. Her eyes landed on the parchment corner that was sticking out from under her pillow. She couldn't take the letters with her, or James might read them and go after Severus. She tore her eyes away from the paper that contained words of love, and closed her bedroom door behind her.

Her mother was still pounding on the door when Lily placed her bags by the front door. It matched the pounding headache Lily now had from lack of sleep. Maybe she could take a nap on the couch until Severus came...but no, what if her parents got out? No, she had to stay awake.

There was a soft knock at the front door. Lily's heart jumped with unexpected happiness. It must be Severus, because James pounded much harder.

Lily opened the door, and there was Severus, his hair neatly combed, dressed in what looked brand-new robes.

"Hi, Lily!" Severus said, lighting up at the sight of her. Lily smiled sadly at his enthusiasm.

"Why don't we talk out here? It's so beautiful out," Lily said, not wanting Severus to hear her parents banging. She closed the front door and sat down on the stoop.

Severus sat beside her, and looked down at his clasped hands. He had planned on what he would say to Lily, but now that he was with her, he couldn't get any of the words out. In fact, he couldn't even remember them.

Lily was equally quiet, but for a different reason: she didn't want to see the disappointed look on Severus' face when she told him she was marrying James. But it had to happen, so might as well get it over with.

"Severus," Lily looked at him, and their eyes met. Lily could practically see his desire to be with her in those glowing black pupils. She knew he wanted to reach out and grab her hand. Knew that he wanted to kiss her. But he didn't, and she was glad, because it would have made this harder. "I'm getting married to James. I'm moving in with him today."

Lily pulled her eyes away from his, because she could not stand to see the confusion and sadness there. For some reason, this was even harder then locking her parents up.

"I can't see you anymore. James probably wouldn't like it."

Severus stared at Lily. when he left yesterday, he had a feeling everything might work out, especially when Lily kissed him on the cheek. He had felt something between them. She had told him to come back to talk And now, she was getting married. So that's it. It's over.

"I am so sorry," Lily said, and Severus was surprised, for her voice was full of regret. "I..I wish we could become friends again, but James wouldn't like it."

Severus thought, "_So what if James didn't like it_?" Maybe he would come visit Lily anyway, because it seemed like Lily really wanted to be friends with him again.

"Severus, please don't come and see me anymore. I don't want you to." Lily knew what he was thinking. She couldn't even imagine what James would do if he saw Severus on the threshold of his apartment.

"Well, I guess I should say congratulations, then, " Severus said, finally speaking, and not knowing what else to say.

Lily was contemplating what she wanted to say. If she brought it up, it might make this situation worse, but she needed to say it.

"Severus, I read your letters."

"My what?"

"The letters you wrote to me. You buried them under that rose bush in front of the house in a metal box. My father pulled up the bush and found it. 'To My Beloved Lily' was carved on the top."

Severus was stunned; he never thought that box would be found. He had written Lily letters about how he felt, how they could have a wonderful life together, all the thoughts and feelings he couldn't say to her face. Then, before he left his parent's house, he put the letters in that box, and buried them under the rosebush. It felt a little like he was giving Lily the letters, even though he knew she would never read them.

Severus didn't know how to reply; she had read all his feelings and thoughts. She knew EVERYTHING.

"I never thought you would read those," Severus whispered.

"I'm glad I did," Lily said, leaning a bit closer to Severus. "Because otherwise, I never would have realized how you felt about me. Or how I felt about you." What was she doing? She had to shut up, before things went too far...but Severus' pull was to strong. She was being drawn in. She couldn't stop herself.

Severus looked at her questioningly. "How do you feel about me?"

Lily looked at him. Instead of speaking her feelings, she leaned closer and their lips met. She could feel Severus tense up, then relax.

Her lips were on fire. Her heart was beating so hard, she thought it was going to pop out of her chest. Her senses seemed more alert then they ever had. The bright sun was warm upon them, she could smell the fresh air, hear the birds in the trees... She could practically feel Severus' passion beneath his skin as he placed his hands on her cheeks.

Lily suddenly pulled away. She couldn't do this! This was the opposite of what what she was intending to do. She couldn't get involved with Severus, for his own safety.

"Lily..." Severus was looking at her with an expression that was full of hope. She actually felt the same way he did.

"You have to go, Sev." Lily looked away. "I'm really sorry."

"But why?"

"Severus, this can't happen. It's just not possible."

"Lily, do you love me?" Severus stared intensely at Lily, until she broke.

"Go away!" Lily cried, tears starting. "I can't do this. I can't."

"Why not?" Severus said, feeling a bit crazy, maybe high on Lily's kiss. He felt a bit satisfied knowing that Lily might prefer him, the kid people always bullied, to James, who was always so popular. "You can tell James to forget it, and we can leave together.."

"No!" Lily leapt up. "We can't! You have to go, before James comes!"

"Maybe I'll stay, and.. "

Lily cried harder. "Don't, please, just go, and don't ever come back. He would find us if we left. And I can't leave, anyway."

"Lily, we can make this work," Severus said, afraid now, desperate not to lose Lily, especially since he knew she felt the same. He couldn't understand why she couldn't call the wedding off. If she was that in love with James, she would never have kissed him like that.

"No!" Lily screamed, tears running down her face and plopping to the ground. "I don't love you. I don't want to ever see you again!" Lily grasped the front door knob, knowing her words contradicted what she had just done, what she had felt when she kissed Severus, what they _both_ had felt. "Go away! Don't ever come back! _Please_, just don't ever come back!" Lily, half pleading, half yelling, went back into her house, and slammed the front door on Severus. She sank to the ground, her back against the door, wishing she could just die. She could hear her mother and father's pounding, and Severus' voice on the other side of the door calling her name, desperately pleading with her. How could she kiss him like that, give him hope, then snatch it away?

She couldn't stay here any more, she couldn't wait for James to come to her, listening to the people she loved pleading with her to let them help. She would go to James. She grabbed her bags, and ran out the back door. She heard the upstairs bathroom door crack as her father finally managed to break it down. She continued running. From her family, from Severus, and toward her worst nightmare. Toward her bad decision.

**AHH! I loved this chapter so much! Poor Severus! It tore me apart to write this! And I feel bad for Lily, too, because she's so intent upon saving her family and Severus, that she never stopped to think maybe they CAN help her.**

**I can't wait to post the next chapter.**

**Hope you all take the time to review, and thanks in advance. **

**Dementors ;)**


	10. Petunia Tells

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks to Althea27, Quantum of Solace, Rhika, LordBan, migotka21, kidouSeverus, myk-myk, snapegirlkmf, hervissa, Ani-Padmeforever, visitor, I'm a Witch so deal with it, hummingpetal, Professor Radar, Lupinesence, visitor, Jasmine, aqua-jade, for reviewing, and to everyone who favorited or added this to your alerts! **

**Thank you sooooooo much! :)**

**Chapter 10 "Petunia Tells"**

"Lily, open the door!" Severus pleaded. He didn't want to lose her again. He stopped his hand in mid bang on the was he doing? He should just use his wand to unlock the door. Stupid! As Severus pulled his wand out and raised it to perform the Unlocking charm, a car stopped in front of the house.

A rather fat man, maybe in his late twenties, was driving the sleek black sports car. Petunia Evans got out of the passenger seat, and waved goodbye to the man as he drove away, and with a twitch of her skirt, turned toward the walkway.

Petunia suddenly caught sight of Severus holding his wand, and pointing it at her front door and shrieked.

"Be quiet, I'm just here to talk to Lily," Severus hissed.

"Who are you?" Petunia asked, keeping her eyes on the wand.

"I'm Severus Snape." Severus saw Petunia's eyes widen as she realized that this man used to be the greasy-haired boy who she always looked at in disgust. Now he looked...presentable.

"What do you want to talk to Lily for?"

"Because I love her," Severus said simply, lowering his wand. "And she loves me, I know it. But for some reason, she won't say it. She's says Potter would get mad if we were friends, and she can't call off the wedding. I don't want her to be unhappy."

Petunia shifted uncomfortably. "Well this wedding was kind of sudden. I heard my parents talking, and I try not to listen to all this magic rubbish, but I think they were saying that Lily was being controlled by James."

So what Severus heard in the Potions shop was true; Lily was being controlled. Severus clenched his fists. That's why Lily said she couldn't leave, and couldn't call off the wedding. The filthy bastard. Severus would find him, and make him pay.

Petunia suddenly lurched forward, and Severus thought she was going to hit him. But she only grabbed onto Severus' shirt and pleaded, "You have to help her. I know Lily and I haven't exactly been close these past years, but I still love her, and I don't want James Potter hurting her! And you're a a wizard, so maybe you can undo what he did to her!"

"Let me talk to her then," Severus said, and Petunia immediately let go of Severus' shirt to fumble for the key to the front door in her pocketbook.

When they entered the house, there was no Lily to be seen, but they heard banging on the basement door, and Mr. Evans suddenly came pounding down the stairs. He was wearing a bathrobe, and his hair was dripping, leaving spots on the carpet.

"Where's Lily?" he said, looking around. Then he noticed Severus. "Who are you?" he said roughly.

"I'm Severus Snape."

"What are you doing here?" Mr. Evans remembered Severus as a boy, always hanging around with Lily. But he hadn't seen the boy in years.

"I'm here to help." Severus said impatiently. He wanted to stop the chitchat, the introductions, and find Lily before it was too late.

Petunia had opened the basement door and let her mother out while Severus was talking to Mr. Evans.

"I heard Lily go out the back door." Mrs. Evans sobbed. "She's gone!"

"Do you know where James lives?" Severus inquired, eager to get to Lily. He didn't know where she might be, but he had a feeling that Lily would go to James in an effort to protect her family.

"No, we hardly know anything about him!" Mrs. Evans sobbed harder. "She said she doesn't even have her wand to defend herself!"

"She doesn't have her wand?" Severus said, feeling some hope. Without her wand, she wouldn't be able to apparate, wouldn't be able to summon the Knight Bus. "She couldn't have gone far, then!"

Severus headed back for the door. "I'm going to look for her. Everyone else stay here," Severus added, seeing that Mr. Evans started to follow him. "I'll put protective wards on the house so Potter can't get in. It will be better if you all stay out of harm until I can get Lily."

"I'm going to look for my daughter," Mr. Evans said. "I'm not going going to stay here and let someone I hardly know look for her. For all I know you could be working with James..."

"Don't EVER say that! I would never put Lily's life in danger! Now, before it's too late, let me go and save her!"

"How can I trust you?" the older man asked, staring hard into Severus' eyes.

"Because I love you daughter more then anything. I would die for her. I will throw myself between her and James if necessary, to protect her. I am not a coward." Severus said fiercely, not breaking the stare.

Mr. Evans could hear the truth in Severus' words, and knew immediately this man would do anything for his daughter. If there was anyone who could save her, it was Severus Snape.

"Fine, just go, and hurry!" Mr. Evans said, but Severus was already out the door and placing magical wards on the house so James couldn't enter.

The Evans stared after him, and hoped with all their hearts that it wasn't too late for Lily.

**Please review! I wanted to reach 100 reviews for this story and I'm almost there! Thank you all so much!**

**Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving; I did, I wrote fanfiction, and watched Supernatural. After a long week of work, it was nice to enjoy the little things! And I gave thanks for fanfiction and hot guys on awesome t.v. shows! **

**Dementors**


	11. See Lily Run

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks to ChrissyGleek, Luna Lily Severus Allen Snape, Lupinesence, visitor, LordBan, hummingpetal, Saint Snape, Saramagician, myk-myk, hervissa, Althea27, thatonegirlxx, for reviewing, and to everyone who favorited or added this to your alerts! **

**Thank you sooooooo much! :)**

**I wrote another Sev/Lily story...well actually it's a poem. I'd really appreciate if you guys would take a look at it! It's called 'Poem for Lily'. Please read, and let me know what you think! Thank you. **

**And hereeeeeee'ssssss Chapter 11 'See Lily Run'**

James got a sudden mental tweak in his brain, and he immediately knew Lily was running, that she left her house. But what was she running from? She was supposed to wait for him to come get her later today. Could she be running from him?

A girl curled across James' face. She had better NOT be running from him, or she would pay, and her family would , he would just have to locate her, and find out her reasonings, then.

It was like a map had appeared in his brain, and there was a little green dot that represented Lily. He knew exactly where she was.

James vacated the seat at the bar counter that he was sitting at and left. Outside, he sent a Patronous message to Sirius telling Sirius to meet him.  
James had a feeling he would need Sirius. Why, he didn't know. He was sure he could handle Lily alone, after all, he had complete control over her. But maybe there was somebody else...

James spun and disapparated from in front of the busy bar and appeared in an alley. A moment later, Sirius appeared behind him, and with a worried look at James, he asked,"What's wrong, Prongs? You only said to meet you here, that it was about Lily, in your message. Did something go wrong with the spell?"

"No," James said simply and pointed at the alley entrance. Lily suddenly flashed around the corner, looking over her shoulder, her face red and her hair flying around her. She saw James, and skidded to a stop, the bags she was carrying falling to the ground.

James smiled wickedly at her, and Lily paled. "Well, my little Lily-Flower, where are you going on this fine day?" Lily glanced over her shoulder again, right before a black-haired man came running around the corner. James immediately pulled out his wand and performed a Disorientating spell, and the man fell to the ground.

**Okay, I know this is short...that's why I"m putting up another chapter today! Yes, that's right! **

**Another chapter, and it'll BLOW YOUR MIND!**

**Dementors**


	12. Torture

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Here's the other chapter I promised...see I never lie! Well, maybe sometimes...teehee!**

**Chapter 12 "Torture"**

Severus flew down the street, scanning the area as he went for Lily. She couldn't have gone too far without her wand. Severus felt his muscles burning and he panted as he jogged along. He felt a pinch of fear at the thought of confronting Potter. Potter always used to abuse him at school, but then of course, this wasn't school and Potter wouldn't have his cronies to back him up. Well, maybe Black, but two against one was better then four against one, like it used to be in school. Well, really more like three to one, because Lupin tried not to get involved with the other Marauders foolish antics.

Severus shook his head, trying to remove the uneasy feelings that had planted themselves there. He would destroy Potter when he found him, no doubt about that.

He suddenly glimpsed a flash of red going around a corner.

"Lily!" Severus called, hoping it was her. He turned the corner, entering an alley, and was knocked to the ground by a spell. He suddenly felt very weak, and his eyesight grew blurry.

"No! Please." Severus heard Lily cry.

"Shut up," a male voice snarled, and there was a sharp slap. "I told you not to tell anyone."

Severus tried to rise, but stumbled, feeling dizzy.

"And you," Severus suddenly received a sharp kick to the ribs, and he gasped, trying to get his breath back. He was pulled up by his collar, and his vision slowly cleared, revealing James Potter. "You're from the Potion's shop. You look so familiar...what's your name?"

Severus didn't reply; instead he went to slash his wand through the air and curse Potter to hell, but his arm was grabbed from behind.

"Tut-tut." Sirius Black grabbed his wand and threw it down on the ground where it rolled under a dumpster.

"Were you going to curse me?" James smiled in a psychotic way, tilting his head a bit.

"James, PLEASE," Lily was beside James, tugging on his sleeve, and Severus looked at her. Their eyes met for a minute, and Severus felt a surge of hate for Potter. He could see in her eyes how terrified, and worried, and guilty she was.

James shook Lily off."Why? Who is this man to you? I know he's not part of your family, Lily, so who is he?"

When Lily didn't reply, James nodded at her, and she heard herself talking, the words being pulled out of her."His name is Severus Snape."

James eyes lit up and Sirius chuckled. "Old Snivellus, huh? This day is just getting better."

Severus tried to pull his wand toward him with his mind, but Sirius noticed it rolling on the ground toward him, and stomped on it, breaking it in half before it flew into his hand. Seeing he couldn't use magic to get out of this then, he struggled in James grip, and to his surprise James let him go.

He was looking at Severus with an odd expression on his face. "Why are you here, Snivellus?" he asked, twirling his wand in his hands.

Severus stood, and didn't reply.

James sighed. "You know I'm going to get the answer eventually." He turned to Lily. "Lily, why is he here?"

Lily felt the words being wrenched from her again. "Because he loves me."

James began laughing. "Oh, well, Snivellus, if you haven't figured it out by now, Lily is MINE." James willed Lily to come closer to him, and grabbed her chin roughly, and brought his lips to hers.

Severus watched, sickened. He could see tears in Lily's eyes.

"Leave her alone," Severus yelled. He started forward, to do what he didn't know, but Sirius flicked his wand at him, yelling, "Petrificus Totalus!" and Severus fell like a block of cement to the ground.

"Not enjoying this?" James whispered to Lily, for a moment unconscious of everything that was going on around them. He latched his lips onto hers again, feeling her revulsion in her mind, and slipped his hand under her blouse, running it over the smooth landscape of her stomach.

James heard Lily's voice in her mind screaming, saying no, and then she cried for Sev to help her. He was jolted back to reality by the sound of his enemy's name.

"Sev? Is that what you call him?" James looked around at Severus lying on the ground. Sirius had his wand on him, but was watching James and Lily with a satisfied smile on his face.

Severus was watching, unable to do anything, but he could see Lily shuddering, FEEL her revulsion, as Potter stuck his filthy paw under her shirt. He screamed silently in his mind, much like Lily was doing, willing his body to move, to get up, but he couldn't even twitch an eyelid. And of course, Sirius had his wand on him.

"Wait, Lily," James looked surprised at her. He ran his finger down her face. "Do you..do you love him?"

Severus listened closely, knowing that Lily couldn't lie under whatever incantation Potter had her under.

"Yes." Lily said.

James stared hard at her, not believing his ears.. "You'd rater have THAT,"he gestured to Severus. "Then me?"

Lily nodded, still inclined to tell the truth.

"Why?" James asked simply, calmly, but Lily could feel his temper rising like lava in a volcano. He could not believe that she would rather take that poor excuse for a wizard then him.

"Because you are a no-good, lying, disrespectful, pig-headed drunken bastard who only cares about sex, booze and power and doesn't care how many people you hurt to get what you want." Lily said quietly. "And Severus is just the opposite of everything you are."

James' grabbed Lily by the hair and threw her to the ground. "Well, if you'd prefer him, then me, we'll have to take him out of the picture, won't we?"

"No, don't do anything to him, James." Lily pleaded. Her worst nightmare was coming true. Here, she had tried to protect her loved ones, and instead she might have jump-started James hurting Severus.

"Oh, I'm not going to do anything to him, Lily. YOU are." Sirius chuckled in the background, knowing what James was going to do; their minds were SO alike, Sirius always knew what James was going to do.

James pulled Lily up and handed his wand to her. He made her walk over and stand above Severus.

"Sirius, you may let him go," James said quietly.

Severus stared at Lily, standing above him, and he was suddenly able to move again. He jumped up, and made to grab Lily, to hold her, to take her away, but before he could, she pointed James' wand, and shouted, "Crucio!"

Severus screamed, every muscle on fire, his bones were being ripped from his body, his skin was being sliced open, hanging from his body in thick flaps, blood running from him onto the pavement...Then he was on the ground, face to the pavement, feeling the rough black stones pressing into his face.

"Do it again, Lily." James commanded. It gave him pleasure to see this man, who had tried to steal his possession, his Lily-Flower, in pain. "And turn up the pain."

Lily raised the wand, and Severus rolled over to face her. "Lily, no. Don't do it." Severus could see Lily's terrified eyes, betraying her, telling that she didn't want to commit this action, but she had no choice.

Lily screamed inside, trying to throw the wand to the ground, to run and haul Severus up, and run from James, but she couldn't. "Crucio!"

Severus was screaming again, and it pierced her brain and her heart and made her think of all the terrible things she had ever seen.

When Severus was limp again, panting on the ground, James ordered Lily to continue torturing Severus until he was dead. "Then I won't have any competition, then, will I, honey?" James smiled sweetly, and gave her another kiss before stepping back to enjoy the show with Sirius.

Sirius would have rather been the one doing the crucio-ing, but he supposed it was more painful to Snape this way, his long-lost love torturing him to death for her master. Oh, the drama!

Severus was crawling to Lily when she hit him with another "Crucio!" He fell to his knees in front of her, screaming. His brain was hazy with pain, and he couldn't do much except scream. But he slowly raised his hand and touched Lily's wand-free hand, which was hanging limply at her side.

Lily was still fighting with herself, her insides being torn apart by her desperation to stop herself from torturing Severus. She watched him reach his hand up and touch hers, and she felt a spark run through her body. She suddenly was able to move by herself, and she kneeled besides Severus, and embraced his convulsing body. He fell into her, weakened from the cruciartus curse.

"What are you doing?" James screamed. "Kill him! Just KILL him!"

Lily felt herself being taken again, her mind being seized by James. No! she thought silently. She could feel Severus against her, breathing, and it gave her strength. She forced James out of her mind, out of her body. But the effort to do that was too much, and she passed out next to Severus, their bodies still entwined.

**Please Review!**


	13. Avada kedavra

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks to hervissa, Sev Snape's girl, Snapegirlkmf, Saramagician, EchoPatronous3, TheDarkCorner, Jaspreet, Ani-Padmeforever, LordBan,Kairi Sapphire Snape, Lupinesence, KidouSeverus, Saint Snape, bianca, OneTrueHufflepuff143, hummingpetal, Jeeun, Althea27, and flame55 for reviewing.**

**Note: In the last chapter, when I said that Severus was bleeding from the cruciartus, I didn't mean he was really bleeding, I just meant that that was what he was feeling was happening to him.**

**Finally! **

**Chapter 13 "Avada kedavra"**

Severus felt himself being enveloped by Lily, heard Potter yelling, and then felt Lily struggling with herself. She collapsed beside him, still holding James' wand.

Severus grabbed Lily's hand, squeezing it, and pulled James' wand from her grip. He stood shakily, supporting Lily, whose head was lolling back, red hair hanging.

James stared at the wand in Severus' hand, and looked scared for a moment as their eyes met and he saw the pounding fury in Severus' coal-black pupils. He motioned for Sirius to come forward next to him, as he had lost his wand, and Sirius still had his.

Severus felt Lily stirring against him, and hugged her closer, never breaking eye contact with Potter.

"Lily, I want you to run, as far as you can. Don't worry about me, I just want to know you're safe." Severus whispered in Lily's ear.

"No..."Lily protested weakly. "I'm staying here. And don't argue with me." she added, knowing that Severus would try to talk her out of it.

Severus suddenly flicked James' wand to shield them from a spell Sirius had fired. James was backing further away down the alley as Sirius shot more spells at Severus. Severus pushed Lily behind a dumpster, avoiding a jet of yellow light as he did so. He flashed the wand through the air, and Sirius flew into a wall.

Severus ran over to him, but Sirius screamed, "Reducto!" and a dumpster blew apart in front of Severus. He felt sharp shards of metal embedding themselves in his flesh, and blood trickling from the wounds, but he did not feel the pain. He only had one thing on his mind: destroying Potter and Black. He waved the wand, and the rubble flew into Black, and circled him like a tornado.

Severus could hear Black screaming, trapped inside the whirling cloud, as he was hit with pieces of debris. Severus laughed, savoring every shriek of pain that Black uttered.

Severus whirled around, looking for Potter, who was apparently trying to escape, slowly backing down the alley in the opposite direction. Severus felt a surge of anger; Potter, the coward, was actually trying to run away from him! And the other students used to call Severus a coward! If only they could see their hero Potter now...

Severus shot a stinging spell at Potter's crotch, and he fell to the ground howling and clutching his pants. Severus took that as an advantage to shot more stinging hexes at Potter, trying to hit every part of him that he could. Severus watched the welts pop up on Potter's face, and didn't feel satisfied. He wanted to cause Potter more intense pain, the kind he caused Lily to suffer, the kind he made Lily do to Severus.

"Severus! Don't. I don't want you to be like him." Lily said. She had gotten up from behind the dumpster and was standing by Severus' side.

"But he deserves to be crucioed after what he did to you, and what he made you do to me!" Severus didn't ask how Lily knew that he was about to perform an Unforgivable on Potter.

Potter, taking advantage of the moments break of stinging spells, got up and started running.

"NO!" Severus yelled, but before he could take Potter down, Sirius, who had broken free of the tornado of debris, screamed "Crucio!" from behind him, and Severus once again fell to the ground screaming.

"Run, James!' Sirius shouted, and James gave him a smile before leaving his best mate alone in the alley with Severus and Lily. Sirius felt satisfied that James got away; he was happy to hold Snape off so James could escape.

"Stop! Leave him alone!" Lily yelled, and launched herself at Sirius, trying to grab his wand. He grabbed her by her throat and slammed her against the brick wall.

"Look what you did, you little whore. You've upset James, you cheated on him. And now you have to be punished." He squeezed her throat, and shot another spell behind him at Severus, who was getting up. His chest was slashed open, as if there was an invisible zipper that had just been pulled down. Severus clutched his chest, crying out in pain as blood soaked into his robes and dripped onto the pavement.

Lily tried to yell out to him, but her voice couldn't get out past Sirius' tightening grip on her throat. She saw him collapse before Sirius' ugly face blocked her view.

Lily struggled, weakly pounding against Sirius' chest as she began to feel dizzy from lack of oxygen. Sirius laughed, feeling the life going out of the whore. But he didn't know if James wanted him to kill Lily, so he slackened his grip a bit.

"You're lucky, bitch, that James still wants you. What he'll do with you, I don't know. Maybe he'll kill you, but I'll leave that up to him." Sirius felt a rush as he released his hand from Lily's throat, bringing it down to her collarbone, and then lower onto her chest. He pressed his lips hungrily against Lily's, savoring the taste of her sweetness. He might as well have some fun before he had to drag Lily back to James.

Lily could taste Sirius' rank breath inside her mouth, feel where his grimy hands were going. She tried to push him away, but he wouldn't budge.

"Stop," Severus had gotten up. He had obviously performed some kind of wound-healing charm to stem the flow of blood from his chest , but Lily could still see where the wound was, trickling blood. And Severus was weak from the blood loss, staggering a bit as he tried to maintain his balance. But he managed to focus, and pointed James' wand at Black's head.

"Let her go," he said calmly, never taking his eyes off Black. Sirius felt a wave of intense fury pulsing from Severus, and was scared by the look in the other man's eyes. But like the arrogant fool that he was, as he always was, he continued to prod and poke the angry beast with a stick.

"Oh, why, Snape? We were having so much fun." Sirius brought his lips upon Lily's again, watching Severus' reaction.

"I am warning you now, let her go, or you will regret it," Severus' eyes burned into Black's.

"Or what, Snivellus, you're going to wipe your greasy nose on me?" Sirius said, avoiding Severus' eyes and trying to maintain his composure. "You don't like when I kiss Lily, huh?" He tightened his hands around her waist, bringing his face down to Lily's again, but before he could do anything else, Severus screamed, "AVADA KEDAVRA!".

The green jet hit Sirius square in the back, and his body went limp, pressing Lily against the wall. Severus stood for a moment, not believing what he had just done. He couldn't believe he had just killed someone, even if it was a terrible person. But the anger had taken over, the anger at being bullied by Black at school, at Black attacking Lily, at Potter getting away, and he couldn't stop the spell. He had WANTED Black to die at that moment, and he had gotten his wish.

Lily pried herself out of the dead man's grip, and pushed him away. Sirius' body slumped to the floor.

"Severus!" Lily threw herself at the man who had saved her.

Severus felt Lily's fragile form inside his arms, and hugged her tightly, avoiding looking at the body on the ground.

"I'm sorry!" Lily cried. " I never wanted you to get hurt! That was the whole reason I never told anyone, because I didn't want James to hurt any of you! And now look!"

"Lily, I'm fine, there's no lasting damage."

"Yes, but you killed Sirius. That will always weigh on your soul. I didn't want you to stoop to their level, Severus!"

"Don't think about that. What's done is done, and he deserved it." Severus said quietly.

"But you could go to Azkaban for using an Unforgivable!" Lily said.

"I'll sort everything out, don't worry." Severus said, although he was now a bit worried. He hadn't even thought about Azkaban when he used the Killing Curse.

"You shouldn't have come!" Lily suddenly pulled away and looked at Severus. If Severus went to prison, it would be her fault. "I told you to leave and you didn't. Why?"

"I love you, and I wanted to help."

"But James is still out there, and now he knows you! He could come after you, and..."

Severus grabbed Lily back towards him and kissed her passionately. He could feel her shaking in his arms.

"I don't care if he comes after me. I will stop him. Because now I have the only thing I ever wanted, and that's you. And no one will take you away, or hurt you again. Not while I'm around."

Lily met Severus' eyes, and saw the love and passion there. The willingness to protect her, no matter what.

"After you visited that first time, I decided that after I broke up with James, maybe I could apologize to you for everything I've done wrong, and you would still want me. But then he gave me that potion, and I thought I had to go away with him, and that it would over with you. I realize I was wrong. I was stupid for not accepting help from anyone." Lily began crying. "And I don't even know why you wanted to help me in the first place, after what I did in school, ignoring you and pushing you aside. I'm so sorry for how I treated you."

Severus tilted Lily's chin up so she was looking at him. "Don't ever be sorry. Because I can forgive and forget, as long as you're with me. I knew you loved me Lily, after you kissed me at your house, and after that, I _couldn't_ walk away. I had to find you and help you, because I knew you felt about me the same I felt about you."

Lily stared at him, smiling sadly. "I really missed you, Sev. I never realized it since I've been with James, but I missed you, and how you were always there for me. No one has ever been there for me like you have. Even now, when we hadn't seen each other in years, you somehow mange to help me in my time of need."

"Well I'm here again, and I will always be here." Severus wiped Lily's tears away. "Now, I think you should go home, and let you parents know you're okay, and I'll take care of him," Severus gestured to Sirius' body.

"What about your chest?" Lily looked at the tender flesh. "Can I heal it? You might have to go to the hospital, but I can at least fix it up a bit now. I'm studying to be a healer."

Lily didn't wait for an answer, instead she pulled James' wand from Severus' hand, and touched the tip to his skin. She ran the wand gently up and down over the wound while chanting quietly. It mostly closed up, but it was still red and inflamed.

"There you go. You'll need some Blood-Replenishing potions, and others. We can go later to the hospital, and I can take care of you." Lily said, knowing Severus would refuse to go now, instead he would want to take care of Sirius first.

"Thank you." Severus could feel the tender flesh still throbbing, but at least it was closed now, and he wasn't losing any more blood. He was glad Lily suggested going to the hospital later, because he wanted to deal with Sirius first.

"What about James?" Lily asked suddenly, fear creeping into her voice.

"Well, he doesn't have his wand right now," Severus pointed to the wand in Lily's hand. "And if he does procure a wand somehow, he won't be able to enter your house. I put protective charms on it so he can't get in. So just stay inside until I get back, and you'll be fine. Oh, and you can take Potter's wand, too, just in case."

Lily fingered the wand gently. "I kind of don't even want this, because it belongs to him. It feels like he's next to me." Lily shivered.

"It'll be okay, Lily." Severus was suddenly looking at her with pain in his eyes. "In time, you'll forget, and it'll only be a distant memory."

Lily laid her hand on Severus' arm. "Yes, and I'll replace the old memories of him with new memories of you." Lily felt the joy radiating off Severus. She knew how happy he was to be with her, because she felt the same way. "I'd better go now."

Lily stepped away, looking back at Severus then stopped. "It's funny, now I feel like I'm attached to you. I don't want to leave you."

Severus smiled. Lily Evans was actually saying she didn't want to leave him.

Lily suddenly ran back toward him, jumping into his arms. Severus, not expecting it, almost lost his balance, but managed to stay upright. Lily's lips met his, and she pressed against him hungrily, the contours of her body fitting into his like two puzzle pieces being pushed together.

Severus held Lily, and kissed her, and it felt like they weren't in this dark, dingy alley, it felt like they were in a world that was always theirs, waiting to be discovered, and they had just found it.

"I love you." Lily whispered in Severus' ear, her warm breath tickling him.

"I love you, too, Lily." Severus continued to hold her, his face buried in her hair. Then he was pulled out of this special world by reality's strong fist. "Lily, we have to go."

"I know. But I don't want to." Lily felt safe where she was now, but she left the protective circle of Severus, and started toward the alley entrance again. "I love you, Sev. Be safe. I'll see you later."

Severus watched Lily disappear around the corner, and felt a stab of loneliness. Now it was just him and Black. Severus longed to follow Lily, to make sure she would be safe, but he couldn't leave Black's body. He had to bring it somewhere. He was tempted just to dump it in the river, but he didn't want it coming back to him. He would do this the right way, and he was hoping against all hope that they wouldn't throw him in jail for using an Unforgivable. But somewhere deep down, he felt they probably would. Just as he was happy in life, he would be thrown in jail and everything he ever wanted would be gone. Severus sighed, and bent beside Sirius' body. He plucked the wand out of his cold, clenched hand, and tried to decide where to go. He supposed he would go to the Ministry, and try to explain everything, and maybe they would let him off, and maybe even help find Potter and arrest him.

Severus looked at the alley entrance where Lily had disappeared one last time before gripping Black's arm and spinning on the spot, leaving the alley empty except for the debris and blood that was scattered around.

**Hope you enjoyed! I can't believe I already received 141 reviews for this story! It's awesome! Thank you so much.**

**I hope I'm keeping you all hanging on the edges of your seats! I was going to make Severus get James in this chapter, too, but I thought it might better to let him get away for now..and we'll see what happens next! Even I don't know.**

**Dementors**


	14. Revenge for Sirius

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks to Ani-padmeforever, Eawynne, katrina, Didget, Saint Snape, hervissa, themaraudersroxmysoxs, Saramagician, LordBan, Lupinesence, Professor radar, Althea27, hummingpetal, flame55, jaspreet, OneTrueHufflepuff143, She-Who-Speaks-Parseltongue, and guests**

**Oh My God! I'm so sorry it took this long. I didn't even realize it's been what, at least three weeks? I've been working, trying to update my other stories.**

**Oh, I published a story yesterday, and I would really LOVE to know what all you awesome people think about it..you're always so honest in your reviews! It's called 'Green eyes, never forgotten', another Severus/Lily, with a bit of Harry. It's a one-shot, but I think you'll enjoy it. So please read! It'll help fill your Snily fix while you're waiting for me to update this!**

**So this is a short James chapter:**

**Chapter 14 "Revenge for Sirius"**

"Shit," James cursed as he ran away from Sirius, Snape and Lily. He never thought it would go this way. Snape was angrier then he thought he would be. And why, over Lily? He couldn't believe Lily would ever chose scum like Snape over him.

James suddenly heard someone scream, "Avada kedavra," behind him, and stopped short. It wasn't Sirius' voice. That left Snape, and the only possible victim of the curse was Sirius, because Snape obviously wouldn't kill Lily.

James inhaled, almost collapsing with shock. Not Sirius, no. Sirius was the only person who had really helped him, cared about him, was there for him all the time.

James started back the way he came, then stopped. He couldn't do anything for Sirius now, and he felt fear pressing upon him. What if Snape killed him? James always knew he was a dark wizard, knew he was capable of killing, and Snape had just proved him right.

James spun back around and continued running. He ran until he couldn't run anymore, and he collapsed against a store front, chest heaving from the exercise. He knew he was still far from home, and he couldn't run all the way back.

Unease filled James; was it really wise to go through all this trouble to get Lily back? Now that she had a guard dog, he wasn't sure if he was going to go after her again.

"What the hell are you thinking?" James thought. "Giving up because of Snivellus? Have you become that weak? Just because he killed Sirius"-the thought brought a lump to James' throat-"doesn't mean he's stronger then me. He just took us by surprise . I will avenge Sirius, and I will kill Snivellus, and Lily too. She doesn't deserve to live anymore, if this is the way she's going to be, if she's going to cheat on me like this all the time. I'll kill her and Snape, and then I'll find another girl. There's enough of them out there for me to pick from."

There was only one problem: James didn't have a wand. Well, he didn't have his wand.

It was if a boulder suddenly hit him; he remembered that he had taken Lily's wand a few days ago and stuffed it in his robe pocket. He patted his pocket, and sure enough, there it was. He pulled out the thin, delicate wand and stared at it. He could've helped Sirius. Sirius need not have died. But James had forgotten about Lily's cherished possession stuffed in his robes.

"Damn." The guilt that James' felt lasted only a minute, and then he grinned. He had a wand. He could go after Snape and Lily now, and get his revenge.

James chuckled, and imagine the way Lily would look at him after he killed Snape, the fear in her eyes. How she would beg him to let her live, grovel at his feet like the lowly whore she was. How he would smirk, and slowly shake his head, before killing her. The sound her dead body would make as it thumped to the floor, next to her precious Snivellus.

James smiled, and couldn't wait to make his daydream real.

**Hey! Please review! I know you guys probably want to see more Severus, and I'll try! Next chapter, probably.**


	15. Severus Speaks Up

**Sigh. I don't own Harry Potter, for the last time.**

**Thank you for reviewing: hummingpetal, flame55, Ani-Padmeforever, Professor radar, Saramagician, Raven's Dusk, Lupinesence, Jaspreet, Saint Snape, AutumnScarlett, and guest**

**And thanks to everyone who favorited and added this to their story alert.**

**And I think everyone will enjoy this chapter, it's so long! **

**Chapter 15: "Severus Speaks Up"**

Severus apparated directly into the Ministry of Magic's Department of Magical Law Enforcement to avoid prying eyes in the Atrium. He was in a large, circular, blue room, and he could see a corridor at the back of this room, which he guessed led to the other offices that were incorporated in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. He heaved Sirius' dead body onto the floor and it landed with a thump.

There were about twenty small cubicles in the room, and a larger one at the center of the room, which he supposed was the receptionist/secretary desk for the Department. He found that all of the residents of the cubicles were staring at him. Some of them stood so they could see better, and Severus could hear them beginning to whisper quietly among themselves. He knew they were staring at the body, and at the slash in his robes over his chest, where blood was covering him from his wound. He cleared his throat nervously; he was afraid he was going to be thrown into prison, but he knew if he hadn't brought Sirius to the attention of the authorities, he would regret it for the rest of his life.

Severus went up to the robed official in the largest cubicle and not knowing how else to explain, said," There's been an accident..." Even though it wasn't an accident, he didn't want to go blurting out that he had just killed a man.

"What happened?" the secretary, Robert Jesset asked, looking over Severus' bloody robes with interest.

"I, well, he attacked me and my.. friend, Lily. His friend has been harassing Lily, and threatening her and using illegal potions and spells, and then I went to get her, and she wouldn't tell me what was happening, and they were using the Cruciartus Curse and.." Severus blurted out nervously, knowing that what he was saying didn't make any sense.

Jesset held up his hand. "I don't understand any of this. I think you should go to the Auror Office, since it sounds like this involves Unforgivables. They'll sit you down, and you can explain everything more clearly to them."

Jesset pointed to the corridor at the back of the room, and Severus nodded, retrieved the body, and headed to the Auror Office. Luckily, it wasn't too far down the corridor so he didn't have far to go.

He entered the office. As in the main office, there were many cubicles, but this office was as messy and disorganized as the other one was neat and clean. There were Daily Prophet clippings, mug shots of criminals, and papers covered in notes scattered around on the desks and the floor, as well as taped to the walls.

A tall, dark Auror dressed in purple robes looked up when Severus entered. His eyes widened at the sight of the dead body, and he got up from his desk immediately and headed over to the young black-haired man.

"What is this about?" the Auror led Severus to his cubicle after telling him to leave the body where it was and someone would take care of it. "Usually we don't have people lugging dead bodies in here, but I have seen stranger. My name is Kingsley, by the way, Kingsley Shacklebolt."

"I'm Severus Snape. Uh, the thing is, well, it's a long story," Severus sighed. He really didn't feel like going into all the details with a total stranger, but he knew it was the only way anyone could understand.

"I'm not doing anything right now," Kingsley gestured to his desk where there was an open magazine beside a steaming mug of coffee. "Why don't you have a seat, and tell me everything. Do you need any medical attention first?" Kingsley had noticed the slashed robes, and the blood, as everyone else had. He didn't want this man passing out in the middle of this questioning.

"No, I'm fine. I closed the wound right after it happened."

"If you're sure, then please begin." It did look pretty bad, Kingsley could just see the wound through the ripped robes, but as long as the man was conscious and able to talk, he figured it was fine.

"All right. Um, well it started when I was in school. There were these two boys who used to tease me, James Potter and Sirius Black." Severus did not want to tell him these things, it was embarrassing, and not to mention difficult for him to talk about the Marauders. He was dreading when he would have to talk about Lily and his feelings.

Kingsley's eyes widened. "Sirius Black? We've been looking for him. He's wanted for several crimes against muggles, and wizards, too."

"You've got him now, not that it'll do much good." Severus gestured grimly and pointed to the body.

"What happened to him exactly?"

"I told you it was a long story, and to understand, you'll have to listen to the whole thing." Severus was afraid that they would throw him in Azkaban if he told them straight out that he had killed Black, but if they heard his side first, and knew what Black and Potter ad done, maybe they would generous with him and let him go.

"Very well, please continue." Kingsley nodded at the nervous young man in front of him.

Severus squeezed his hands together before opening his mouth to continue the story."There was also this girl, Lily Evans. She's a muggleborn. She was friends with me until she got totally obsessed with James Potter. Eventually, they started going out, once he realized that she liked him. I hadn't seen her since I left school, but I never forgot about her..I always thought about her." Severus stopped, blushing a bit at how much information he was telling this man. It just felt so strange, sitting in the Auror office, telling an Auror about his school bullies and his life-long crush. He noticed that some of the other Aurors had leaned toward them and were trying to listen. Kingsley noticed, too, and waved his wand so that it created a soundproof barrier around them, thinking it might make Severus more comfortable if nobody else could hear.

Kingsley didn't take his eyes off Severus. He could tell that the young man was having trouble talking about this. Obviously he cared for this girl, and she had picked someone else. and to have her pick someone that bullied you, well, he could understand why he was having trouble talking about it to a stranger.

"Go on," Kingsley said softy. The others Aurors often put him down for being a bit soft and caring, but he thought it was an attribute in this type of situation.

Kingsley's deep voice relaxed Severus a little, and he didn't feel as embarrassed as before. He noticed that Kingsley's had waved his wand, and saw that the other Aurors went back to their work, so he figured it was a charm so nobody else could hear them talking.

"I work in a Potion's shop in Diagon Alley, and Potter and Black came in a few days ago with a list of ingredients they needed for a potion they were brewing. I heard them talking about Lily becoming immune to a curse, and I was worried about her. When we were younger, I tried to tell her how Potter was, but she didn't listen. So when I heard that, I thought maybe he had done something to her so she would stay with him, because I always thought it was weird that she was with him for that long. I decided to go by her house and talk to her that same day, even though I hadn't spoken to her in about four or five years. She didn't even know who I was at first." Severus said quietly, looking down at his hands. "Then I asked her if she was happy with Potter, and she said they had a fight the night before. She started crying; she seemed really upset. And then she told me to leave because she had to go see Potter. I thought that was it, until she asked if I could back the next day to talk. I don't know what happened in the meantime, but when I came back the next day, she told me she didn't want me coming around anymore, that she was marrying Potter, and he wouldn't like it. I knew by the tone of her voice that she really didn't want to be with Potter, and then she, she ah..kissed me. That made her really upset, and she ran into the house and left through the back door. Potter had threatened to hurt her family if she didn't marry him, and he had taken her wand, too, so she had no protection. She didn't want to put her family in harm's way, so she ran away. After I talked to her parents and got an idea of what was going on, I went after her. They had told me Potter was controlling her with potions and curses so she could never leave him, and he could do whatever he wanted to her."

"Do you know what these curses and potions were?" Kingsley interrupted, leaning back in his chair. "I would like to have them on record."

"No, but Lily might know. I'm not sure what Potter actually told her, but I'm sure she would not object to you questioning her."

"Where is Lily now?"

"At her home with her family."

"Well,continue the story, so I know how she got there." Kingsley was finding this very interesting; it was a bit like a muggle soap opera, with love triangles and betrayal and such.

"Anyway, I saw her go around a corner into an alleyway, and I followed, trying to catch her. Potter and Black were there with her. Black attacked me and I lost my wand. Lily told Potter about us, under his mental influence. He made Lily use the Cruciartus on me, several times. She finally broke free of him, I don't know how, but Lily is strong. But she passed out from the effort of freeing her mind. I took Potter's wand from Lily. I was fighting with Black, then Potter, and Black got me from behind. Potter got away. Black used some spell that ripped open my chest." Severus pulled open the two ripped halves of the front of his robes, revealing an angry red slash that was mostly closed up on his torso. It was still trickling a bit of blood, and looked red and inflamed.

"He started doing things to Lily," Severus twitched when he said this, trying to block out the image of Black defiling Lily. "She was fighting, and screaming. I got so angry, I just didn't realize what I was doing, I used the Killing Curse on him. I didn't even think about the consequences, I was living in the moment, thinking about everything he's ever done to me, and then what he was doing to Lily. Then I.. I came here. I wanted to do what was right." Severus was shaking slightly now, his thoughts full of dementors and dark cells.

The auror was studying Severus thoughtfully. This certainly was a difficult one. In theory, both Lily Evans and Severus Snape should be thrown in Azkaban for using Unforgivables. And James Potter and Sirius Black, too for assault and using Dark Magic. But Lily was being controlled by Potter, so that took her out of the equation. And Severus was trying to protect himself and Lily. There was no arguing that he could have used a different spell, but Kingsley could understand why he had used the Killing Curse. And the young man certainly seemed sorry that he had used it. He did not know exactly what Black was doing to Lily, and he could only imagine how Severus felt, watching his loved one being attacked by Black. He looked up at Severus, and saw the fear in his black eyes, saw how his hands were shaking on the arms of his chair.

"Look, personally, I wouldn't throw you in jail, but it's not up to me. I could set up a trial for you, and I could come and defend you on your behalf. It might help your case that Black has several warrants out for his arrest for assaults against both muggles and wizards, and also robbery. He was also brought up on attempted murder of his parents, but he left before we caught him. The family's house-elf had protected his parents with its magic, and by the time we got there, he was already gone. He must have realized he would be arrested if he stayed. We haven't been able to find him, and the fact that you did, and put an end to his existence is a plus. But I can't say what the jury will decide."

Severus put his head in his hands. One curse. That one curse could tear him away from his life, and from Lily forever. He wouldn't be around to protect her from Potter. He would live in a cell with real criminals and the dementors in the middle of the ocean, and he would stay there until he died. He looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Kingsley was standing above him with a sympathetic look on his face.

"I'm really sorry, but if you want to do this the right way, this is how it has to be done. You had enough courage to come out and tell the truth instead of dumping Black's body somewhere, and I appreciate that. Hopefully the jury will, too, and they'll let you off. But I can't promise you anything. What I can promise is that I will be there to help you." Kingsley said. He felt horrible for Severus. He had a bad feeling that the jury would not rule in his favor. He would lose the woman who he had fought for, had killed for.

"Thank you." Severus said softly. The thought that someone was actually going to stand up for him and help him for once was almost unbelievable. His whole life he had gotten pushed around and nobody had even done anything, or even noticed, not even Lily. It was a little comforting to know that this stranger was willing to stand up for him.

"Listen, we don't normally do this, but why don't you go, maybe go get fixed up at the hospital, and I'll get in touch with you about the trial, okay?"

Severus nodded, suddenly feeling exhausted and drained from the happenings of the day, and the stress of thinking that he might be going to Azkaban. Severus stood up, ready to leave, when he remembered Potter.

"There's one more thing," Severus said. "Potter is still out there, and I think he might come back for Lily. If I go to prison, I won't be here to protect her."

Kingsley looked at the young man. He was faced with a life sentence in Azkaban, and he was still thinking of Lily first.

"I'll send an Auror home with you now, and I'll come later to replace him, alright?" Without waiting for an answer, Kingsley motioned for a older wizard to come over. He was short, and a little chubby, wearing worn-out robes with dark brown eyes, and a scruffy beard. He was balding on top, and there were deep wrinkle lines etched into his gruff face.

"That's Ralph Dorson. He doesn't really see too much action anymore, but we try to give him jobs here and there. He really is a great Auror, though, don't get me wrong about that. He just takes things really seriously."

"What's going on?" Dorson had joined them.

"Can you escort this young man home, and stay with him until I get there? Thanks."

"Come on," Dorson grabbed Severus' arm roughly and pulled him toward the corridor.

Severus couldn't help but think that Kingsley was sending this Auror with him to keep an eye on him rather then protect him, but he pushed the thought from his mind. He wanted to trust Kingsley, and he just hoped that he could count on him for help.

He noticed Dorson shooting him curious glances, especially at his chest, but to his relief, the Auror didn't question him.

Dorson led him to the rickety elevator, which brought them down to the Atrium.

"We'll apparate from there," Dorson pointed to an area on the right side of the Atrium where people were appearing and disappearing. "Just head where you want to go, and I'll tag along."

When they got to the correct spot, Dorson nodded, and Severus spun on the spot, feeling Dorson by his side. They appeared in front of Lily's house. The Apparation took the rest of Severus' energy, and he almost fell to the sidewalk, but Dorson supported him.

Lily suddenly pulled the front door open and rushed to them. "Oh, Sev, I've been watching for you at the window!" she grabbed him tightly and hung on.

Dorson let go of Severus and stepped back, surveying the area for potential danger.

"Lily," Severus whispered into her ear, and she heard the weakness in his voice.

"Let's go inside and I'll fix you up." Lily looked at the older man who had come with Severus.

"I'm Dorson. I'm here from the Auror Office to watch over you." Dorson said quickly.

Lily nodded and he followed her inside. Dorson closed the door behind them, and muttered some protective charm over the door. Then he summoned a chair, placed it by the window and sat down, watching the street from the window.

Lily brought Severus to the living room and guided him to the couch. She had basically been supporting him, and her shoulders thanked her when she set him down.

"Lily, dear, is that Severus?" Mrs. Evans and her husband and Petunia had just entered from the kitchen, hearing the front door open and close.

"Who's that man by the window?" Mr Evans asked, staring at Dorson's back.

"He's here to protect us, don't worry about him. I have to take care of Severus right now." Severus had laid down on the couch, and Lily noticed how pale his face was. Probably from the blood loss and being crucioed too many times. She laid her hand on his face. It was warm. "Sev, you'll be okay, I'm going to help you."

Severus smiled. "I know you will, Lily."

"Do you need help with anything, dear?" Mrs. Evans asked.

"No, you guys can go back to the kitchen. I can handle it." Lily didn't want her parents listening when she talked to Severus.

"Alright, then you're sure there's nothing I can get for you?"

"Maybe just a bowl of warm water and a cloth." Lily said. The other three members of the Evans family retreated back into the kitchen.

"I'm just going to take this off," Lily gently pulled Severus' ruined robes off over his head so she could see the wound better. "I don't know if I'm going to be able to get any healing potions from the hospital, or maybe I can send Dorson..." Lily got up and went to ask Dorson to pick up some things from the hospital.

"Just tell them that Lily Evans needs these potions," Lily said handing him a piece of paper she had just scribbled what she needed on.

"I don't know if I should leave.." Dorson said, staring at the paper. Kingsley had told him to stay here until he came later on.

"Please, Severus really needs them, and we'll be safer here then moving him to the hospital. It won't take long, please." Lily put her hands on her hips and starred him down. "If you don't go, I will."

Dorson sighed. "Fine." His robes flashes as he disapparated, and then he was gone.

Mrs. Evans met Lily at the entrance to the living room with a bowl of water and a soft cloth. "Here you go, and just call if you need anything else."

Lily nodded before taking the items from her mother. She still felt guilty about how she had locked her parents up, but she had felt that it was the right thing to do at the time. But everyone was safe now, so it didn't matter.

She sat back down beside Severus. The wound still looked horrible, even though it was mostly closed up. She dipped the cloth in the water and began cleaning off the blood that was on Severus' chest. She glanced at Severus' face when she heard an intake of breath.

"Am I hurting you?" Lily said, worried that she had pressed too hard.

"No, you're not." Severus sat up, wincing a bit. "Come here."

"You should really lay down, or it may start bleeding again..." Lily said, but the rest of her speech was cut off by Severus' lips meeting hers. He had kissed Lily a couple of times today, but this time was better then the others, because he knew what she truly felt now. He put his hands around Lily and pulled her closer to him. He didn't want to tell her that he might be going to prison. He wanted to enjoy the time he had with her now, and not mar it with any horrible news.

Dorson had arrived back, and was watching the two, not wanting to bother them, but he stepped into the room anyway and cleared his throat loudly.

Lily jumped away from Severus quickly and looked up. "Do you have the potions?"

Dorson silently placed the items on the coffee table next to Lily and exited the room, returning to his seat by the window in the hallway.

Severus laid back down, wishing that Dorson had not interrupted them at that moment. Lily reached for the bottles on the table, and examined them before instructing Severus how much to take of each one. There were several potions: blood-replenishing, one to reduce infection, one to keep down the swelling, and one that numbed the area so it would less painful.

As Severus swallowed each of the potions that Lily gave him, Lily continued to clean the blood off his chest. He placed the last bottle back on the table and smiled at Lily; she had a slight frown on her face as she concentrated on the wound, wiping gently so she wouldn't hurt Severus.

It felt nice to finally have someone taking care of him for once. He remembered in his school days when the Marauders had given him some particularly bad injuries, and he would sit alone in his dorm room and clean himself up with all sorts of healing charms and spells. Now Lily was doing that.

"There. All finished." Lily lay the bloody cloth next to the bowl of rusty-colored water that she had been rinsing it off in. She grabbed a blanket that was folded on the back of the couch and laid it over Severus. "Now you just need to rest while the potions take effect. I don't know if the scar with ever disappear all together, but it'll heal pretty quickly, since you pretty much closed it up just as it happened."

Lily leaned back on the couch, squeezing in between Severus' feet and the couch's armrest. She sighed. "I'm really sorry that this happened to you, Sev. I should have told you everything in the first place, but I was afraid James would hurt you and my family. And you got hurt anyway." Tears slipped down her cheeks.

Severus, who was feeling sleepy, suddenly felt alert again at the sight of Lily crying. "Lily, don't, please. I'll be fine. And your family is fine, and you are, too. And Black is gone, so we just have to worry about Potter."

"Oh, Sev, you never told me what happened at the Ministry." Lily suddenly remembered about Severus going to the Ministry. She had forgotten to ask him when he got back because he looked so horrible and she wanted to fix him up. "They're going to let you off, right?" Lily looked at him hopefully.

"Well, I'm not really sure. There's going to be a trial, and I don't know how the jury will rule." Severus said. He didn't want to tell her, but he couldn't lie to her, especially when she was asking in such a straight-forward manner. Fear burned in his heart again, and he grabbed for Lily's hand.

Lily stared at him in horror. "But, he was a criminal! You can't go to jail! It'll be all my fault!"

"It wasn't your fault, it was mine because I was too stupid to think before I acted. My emotions took over, and I couldn't control myself. And now I have to pay." Severus' voice trembled as he squeezed Lily's hand tighter. He was terrified, really terrified, for the first time in his life. This did not even compare to the fear he felt when he was hiding from his father, knowing he was about to get a beating, or when the Marauders were after him. Just when he had everything he ever wanted, it would be taken away because of one stupid action, and he was terrified.

"No, I won't let them take you!" Lily let go of Severus' hand and jumped up, panicking at the thought of Severus locked up in a dark, dirty cell surrounding by cloaked dementors. "I'll take you away, we'll run away."

"No." Severus said quietly. What kind of life would that be for Lily, always running and hiding? And if they were ever caught, Lily would be arrested too, and he wouldn't be able to take it if that happened. "It's not the right thing to do."

Dorson had been listening to the couples' conversation in the next room, and gathered a vague idea of what had happened. Obviously, Severus had killed someone while trying to protecting Lily. And now he might be thrown in jail. In Dorson's opinion, Severus should have used a different spell. There is no excuse for using an Unforgivable. But the fact that he did it only in defense, he should be given a shorter sentence. When Lily talked of running away, Dorson wondered if he should go in and stop them, but then Severus had refused, much to Dorson's surprise. Dorson shook his head; many people would run if they had the chance when faced with the prospect of a life sentence in Azkaban. Obviously, this man was not a coward. He leaned forward in his chair and continued staring out the window, still eaves-dropping on the talk in the other room.

Lily kneeled beside the couch next to Severus' head. "I don't want to lose you, Severus. Not after all this." She leaned down and touched her forehead to his. "I need you with me, and you need me. We were made for each other, and I can't believe I never saw it before. But now that I know, I don't think I'll be able to live without you."

A lone tear trickled down Severus' cheek. How long had he been waiting to hear those words? It felt like a lifetime. And now, it might be for nothing. He would be in Azkaban, and Lily would be here, but miserable without him.

"Severus, do me one favor." Lily laid her head on his chest and hugged him tightly. "Marry me."

"What?" Severus was stunned by Lily's sudden proposal.

Lily could feel his heart beating very quickly. "Marry me." she repeated.

"But if I'm going to prison..why would you want that?" Severus didn't understand why she would want to be bound to him when he would live and die in Azkaban.

"Because I love you, and I'll love you forever. There will never be anyone else for me but you." Lily tucked the blanket back up under Severus' chin and brushed his dark hair lovingly off his face. "I want to be with you forever, and if you're in Azkaban, I can't do that. Unless you marry me. Then I'll be yours forever. If someone asks me, I'll tell them I'm taken already by Severus Snape."

Severus was touched. She would ruin the prospect of finding another man to be with for him, and be alone for the rest of her life?

"Please, do it for me, Sev." Lily eyes were burning into his, pleadingly asking. Severus slowly nodded, hoping she would not regret this in years to come.

"Thank you." Lily kissed Severus again, and this time they were not interrupted by Dorson.

**So, what do you think? Did you like Kingsley? Please review and let me know. And I didn't forget about Lily still being attached to James. We'll have to see what's going to happen with that.**

**Dementors**


	16. Kingsley Tries To Help

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thank you for reviewing: Saramagician, Saint Snape, Eawynne, flame55, Jaspreet, Lupinesence, hummingpetal, guest, King leer, ani-Padmeforever, and hervissa.**

**And thanks to everyone who favorited and added this to their story alert.**

**Chapter 16 "Kingsley Tries To Help"**

Severus dozed off with Lily sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch next to his head. Severus was grasping Lily's hand tightly, even while he slept, and she knew he didn't want to let her go. Lily felt sleepy, too, listening to Severus' slow, gentle breathing and she was soothed by his warm hand wrapped around hers. She laid her head on the cushion and also dozed off.

The shadows crept closer to the sleeping couple as it got later, and eventually, Mrs. Evans came in to check on them before going to bed with her husband. Petunia had already gone up some time ago. She leaned against the doorframe and sighed. "Look at them, Henry, it's beautiful."

Her husband, who was standing behind her nodded. "Yes, I think he's more fitting for Lily then James ever was. And I never thanked him for bringing her back. I'll tell him tomorrow, when he's feeling better." Henry turned toward Dorson, who was still wide awake by the window.

"Are you staying here all night?"

"Only until I'm relieved by Kingsley Shacklebolt. He has to come and talk to Severus anyway, so I'm sure he'll be along eventually." Dorson replied, his eyes not moving from the window.

"Well, thank you, sir, for watching over us like this. It's much appreciated."

"You don't have to thank me, it's my job."

"Alright then, well have a good night," Henry said, and his wife yawned as they went upstairs. It had been a terrifying day, what with Lily leaving, but thanks to Severus Snape, and the Auror Dorson, they felt safe for the moment.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Dorson kept watch for another few hours, eyelids never drooping, until a shadowy figure appeared outside. As the figure neared the house, he recognized Kingsley. He opened the door, but drew his wand, just in case it was a trick.

"I'm sorry I'm a bit late, business, you know." Kingsley looked a bit tired, but still alert. "Where is everyone?"

"Asleep," Dorson replied.

Kingsley peeked into the other room where he saw Severus' outline on the couch.

"Say, you wouldn't mind telling me what's exactly going on here, would you? I think I put together an idea, but I would like some details." Dorson asked. He was very interested in this case; it was different.

"I suppose it couldn't hurt if I told you," Kingsley said slowly. Everyone would know about it soon anyway, because of the trial. So he repeated pretty much everything Severus had told him to the older man in front of him.

"Hmm. so the kid's in a bind, now, is he? You better be careful defending him, Kingsley. People might get the wrong opinion about you. Like you're for Unforgivables."

"Don't be stupid. I agree that he should have used a different spell, but he didn't think before he acted. I'm not saying it's right, but I don't think he should go to prison." Kingsley said, a bit angrily.

"Fine, I don't want to argue." Dorson put up his hands in a peace gesture. "Since you're here, I'm going to leave and get some sleep. See you later, and be smart, Kingsley." Dorson patted the younger Auror on the shoulder before vanishing.

Kingsley sighed and rubbed his eyes. Old fool, did he want Severus to go to prison? Certainly seemed so. Kingsley entered the living room, and whispered, "Lumous," so that the tip of his wand ignited and he could see the figure on the couch. Severus was there, and a woman who he guessed was Lily was leaning against the couch; their hands were entwined. He didn't want to wake them, but he thought they might want to know what was going on. He reached out a hand and gently shook Lily's shoulder.

"Lily," he said quietly.

She opened her eyes, which were a beautiful green that sparkled in his wand light, and jumped up, tugging Severus' hand as she did so.

"Who are you?" Lily asked as Severus stirred. She could only see a silhouette illuminated in the light of a wand. Her body tensed up, on the defense.

"My name is Kingsley Shacklebolt. I came to talk about the trial." Kingsley was eager to put the young woman at ease; she looked nervous and wary.

Lily relaxed a little, but she had a fearful expression on her face now at the mention of the trial. "Severus said that he might go to jail. Is it true?"

"Lily?" Severus sat up suddenly, sensing the other wizard in the room, and grabbed Lily protectively.

"It's me, Kingsley."

"This is stupid, let me turn on a light," Lily said, and reached for the lamp that stood on the end table next to the couch. The room brightened significantly, and all three blinked while their eyes adjusted to the light.

"Please, sit down, Mr. Shacklebolt," Lily gestured to the armchair across from them, and then sat beside Severus on the couch.

"You can call me Kingsley," the Auror said, taking a seat. "I wanted to tell you about the trial."

"You set it up already? When is it scheduled for?" Severus questioned. He could feel Lily shaking beside him, and knew she was worried.

"It's tomorrow. They don't like to wait on these things," Kingsley smiled grimly. "I'm sorry to say it's going to be a typical Death-Eater style trial, since you used an Unforgivable. And I will be there to help you, but as I said before, I don't know what the outcome will be."

"Oh, Sev." Lily wrapped her arms around him, and Severus squeezed his eyes shut. By the way Kingsley sounded, it seemed like he would be going to Azkaban. He was going to be treated like a Death Eater, just as he had in school, even though he was as far from being a Death Eater as one could get.

"We have to get married tonight, then." Lily whispered, a bit desperately, in his ear. She was afraid she was going to lose him forever. "Before your trial tomorrow."

"Yes." Severus still didn't want to tie Lily down like that, but she seemed absolutely sure, and when Lily wanted something, she made sure it happened.

"Kingsley," Lily looked up at the Auror. "Can you perform the Marriage Binding Ceremony on us?"

"Uh, if you want. You're getting married?" Kingsley looked surprised. According to Severus, he hadn't seen Lily in years, and they had been seeing each other just for a few days now, and they wanted to get married?

"Yes. If I lose him to Azkaban, I want to make sure everyone knows my heart belongs to him, and it will never belong to anyone else." Lily started crying and buried her face into Severus' robes. She was embarrassed to cry in front of the Auror, but it seemed as if she couldn't stop herself these days. Severus patted her back.

"Lily, what happens will happen, and we can't change that, so just please stop crying. You know it bothers me when you're upset." Severus almost felt like crying as well as the prospect of Azkaban drew closer.

"Did you want me to do the ceremony now?" Kingsley shifted awkwardly. He really didn't want to hear these private things. It felt like he was eavesdropping, even though they knew he was sitting right there.

"Yes, then I might feel a bit better about this." Lily wiped her face. "Too bad I didn't get anything yet to wear for James' wedding."

"You look perfect how you are," Severus smiled, and felt nervous, with butterflies fluttering around in his stomach. But it was a good kind of nervous. Was he really about to get married to his one and only love who he had thought was lost to him forever?

Lily grabbed Severus' hand again as Kingsley pulled out his wand and stood up.

"Will you please stand?" Kingsley said, and the couple did so.

"Do you, Severus, take Lily to be your wife?" Kingsley asked.

"I do."

"And do you, Lily, take Severus to be your husband?"

"I do." Lily said before he finished getting the words out of his mouth.

A soft blue smokey light came out of the end of Kingsley's wand, and entwined itself around the couple's clasped hands. It was the spell that was supposed to join them in marriage, but as the light touched Lily, she gasped. She let go of Severus, and fell to her knees, clutching her chest and struggling for breath.  
Kingsley ceased performing the spell at once.

"Lily!" Severus bent next to her. "What's the matter?"

"Oh, Sev," Lily looked at at her would-to-be husband with tears in her eyes, still trying to catch her breath. "I can't marry you. James still has me bonded to him, I could feel it when Kingsley performed the spell. I'm sorry! I can still feel him!"

"Lily, don't be sorry, it's not your fault! We'll fix this, I swear we will!" Severus grabbed Lily and hugged her tightly. Even after they got away from Potter, Lily wasn't truly free yet. She was still under his spell.

"I'm terribly sorry," Kingsley said sincerely. This was a strange occurrence, e had never seen anything like it. Something that could block the Marriage Bond must be some type of old Dark Magic. "I wish there was something I could do...you don't happen to know what spells he put on you, do you?" If only he knew the Dark Magic, he could do some research and perhaps find a cure to break the spell.

"No, I don't. I remember hearing James thanking Sirius for finding the potion after they gave it to me, and Sirius said it was in his parents' library, but other then that, I don't know."

"All right," Kingsley patted her shoulder gently. He felt terrible. It wasn't much to go on, and it wasn't like he could burst into the Black household and demand to see their library. Unless..unless Black had taken the book that contained the recipe somewhere so he and Potter could brew the potion. Maybe, their places of residence?

"Do you know where Potter and Black live?" Kingsley asked suddenly.

"I know where James' apartment is, but not Sirius'. Why?" Lily asked curiously. Severus had helped her up, and she had sat back on the couch, with Severus besides her.

"Because one of them might have the book that contains the potions recipe!" Kingsley said excitedly. "We might be able to break it!"

"I know that James said I was becoming immune to the spell he had on me before, and that's why he made the potion. So now he has both of them on me. But if we find a cure to the potion, I might be able to fight off the spell like I did before." Lily looked happier then she had a few minutes ago. Was there hope for her? Could she break James' terrible curse? Get rid of him once and for all?

"Okay, I think I'm going to need backup, because I don't want to leave you two alone, and I might need help searching Potter's apartment, so let me send messages to a couple of other Aurors, and then I can leave." Kingsley raised his wand, chanted under his breath, and three bright patronouses appeared, in the form of lynxes. He pointed his wand at each of them, saying the same message but addressing them to different people.

"This is Kingsley. I require assistance. The patronouses will lead you to me. Please respond right away." He sent them to Frank Longbottom, Andria Praver, and Gordon Montell, three of his close friends in the Auror office. After the patronouses blinked out like a light, almost like a wizard apparating, Kingsley gave Severus and Lily a small smile. "My friends will be here in a few moments, and they'll be able to help. We'll fix everything, if we can."

"Thank you," Lily said. "I should have just went for help before any of this happened, I should have told someone. But I was too stubborn. If I had never started going with James in the first place...none of this would have happened."

The three were quiet then, not knowing what to say to that, and waited for Kingsley's friends. After a few minutes, there were three successive pops, and Frank, Andria and Gordon appeared in the room.

Frank Longbottom walked over. He looked young for his age, with fair hair, and stubble on his face. With his tall, lanky figure, he towered over the other two Aurors.

"What can we do for you, Kingsley?" He shook Kingsley's hand, looking a bit worried, with his brows furrowed together in a frown. "I was spending some time with Alice when you called, you know how she's been now that she's pregnant, all emotional and such. She was mad that I came." Frank chuckled good-naturedly. "But I told her I'm an Auror, and if you call, I come. She's gonna be mad when I get back, so this had better be good."

Andria and Gordon had followed Frank. Andria was a black-haired witch, with dark, heavy eyes and a somber face. She was of average height, but a bit chubby. She looked at Kingsley and said, "Yes, please do tell us."

Gordon nodded silently in agreement. His blue eyes twitched around the room, never landing an object for more then a few seconds. His long brown hair was pulled into a ponytail that ran down his back. He was heavily built, with wide shoulders and a strong chest.

"Well, it's a long story, but let me introduce you first. This is Severus and Lily," Kingsley gestured to the couple on the couch." And these are my friends, Frank, Andria and Gordon," Kinglsley pointed them out as he named him.

"You look familiar from Hogwarts," Frank squinted at Lily. "Lily Evans, is that right? And the Slytherin, Severus Snape?"

Severus noticed Frank's tone as he said his name, and said, a bit agitated, "I may have been a Slytherin, but as you can see, I'm not a Death Eater, and I don't play with Dark Magic. That's Potter's deal."

"Anyway," Kingsley said hurriedly, not waiting the two to engage in a fight about their houses."I'll give you the bottom line. I need someone to stay here and watch after these two. James Potter is after them."

"Pranking Potter? Really?" Frank looked surprised. "He went dark side?"

"Well, he's always been dark side, not that anyone else noticed but me.." Severus mumbled under his breath.

"Yeah. He put a spell on Lily, and he gave her a dark potion so he could control her. I want to search his place and see if I can find the book that he took the potion recipe from, or the book with the spell in it. Then we might be able to reverse the effect on Lily." Kingsley rubbed his hands together. "So, Gordon, why don't you stay with these two, and I'll take Andria and Frank so we could search the apartment and get back quicker?"

Gordon, it seemed, was a man of little words. He simply sat down in Kingsley's recently vacated seat and settled in instead of replying with words.

"Right then. Lily, do you have the address?" Kingsley asked her, and she told him. "All right, we'll be back as soon as we can, and then we'll see what we can do." Kingsley, Andria and Frank spun on the spot, and disappeared with loud cracks.

Severus and Lily shifted uncomfortably as Gordon stared at them unblinkingly. Severus cleared his throat and decided to make small talk. "So, do you uh, like your job?"  
Gordon shrugged.

Lily stood up. "I'm going to make some tea in the kitchen, would you like anything?"

Gordon shook his head.

Lily reached out her hand to Severus. "Come on, you could use some tea, too."

Severus smiled. Lily always knew what to do to get out of these situations. Severus allowed Lily to pull him to the kitchen.

"That bloke is creepy," Severus said quietly as Lily closed the kitchen door behind him. "Does he even talk, or does he just stare at you the whole time?"

"I don't know," Lily filled a teapot with water and put it on the stove to heat. She reached into the cupboard for two mugs and some tea. "Maybe he's just shy."

Severus pulled one of the kitchen chairs back and sat down. He didn't reply. Lily noticed him grow quiet, and turned around.

"Are you alright?" Lily put a hand to his forehead. "Are you feeling sick from the potions?"

"No, I'm fine." Severus lied, but really he was thinking about Azkaban again. He would be sentenced tomorrow, and Potter was still loose. He wouldn't be here to protect Lily. And if they ever did catch Potter, he would be thrown in Azkaban. And Severus would be in Azkaban with James Potter. How did this happen?

"Sev." Lily sat on his lap and brushed the hair out of his face. Her eyes studied the depths of his black pupils, looking for the truth. "Tell me."

Severus found impossible not to talk to her when she was looking at him like that."I just don't want to go to Azkaban, okay? You'll be alone here, with Potter still loose, and I'll be stuck in there, and I'll never see you again." Severus ran a hand through Lily's hair. "Just when everything was almost perfect, when there was some hope...and now it's gone." Severus' voice broke and he was unable to continue.

Lily threw her arms around him, wanting to comfort him, desperate to help him, but she couldn't, because there wasn't anything you could say or do that would get rid of the apprehension and fear of being sent to Azkaban. Poor Sev! This was all her fault to begin with! She should have never gone out with James, she should have choose Severus instead. They could have been married by now, and she would have never known all the beatings James could give, all the hurtful things he could say and do, and Severus would have had her. He wouldn't have had to go through life with that empty place in his heart, because she would have been there to fill it. She would have been there for him.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Lily whispered in Severus' ear, knowing that she could not convey the guilt she felt with mere words. He could never understand how bad she felt, and she would never forgive herself for ruining his life, or her own.

The teapot started whistling behind them and Lily stood to turn it off. Severus grabbed her hand before she could go over and she looked at him questioningly.

"It wasn't just your fault, Lily, it was mine, too. I should have asked you out before Potter did. That might have changed everything. But I was too afraid that you would say no. I was scared to lose you before I even had you. and for that, I'm sorry." Ever since Lily had started going out with Potter, Severus had wished with all his heart he had plucked up enough courage to ask her before Potter had. He felt somewhat responsible that Lily was hanging out with that loser since he didn't get to her first. He had felt horrible, like he could never forgive himself that he had let Lily go so easily.

"Well, for what it's worth, you have me now," Lily leaned back down, and kissed Severus' deeply, ignoring the whistling teapot.

The kitchen door suddenly crashed open, and Gordon was standing there, obviously looking for the source of the whistling. Lily jumped up.

"Can you turn that off? It's making my brain wonky." he said in a surprisingly soft voice and with that he left again.

Lily quickly turned the stove off and removed the teapot while Severus got the mugs. She started giggling before she could help herself and Severus caught on, too and chuckled softly.

"I don't know why I'm laughing, this is hardly a funny situation. But everything is so messed up." Lily poured tea leaves and hot water into each of the mugs that Severus was holding.

"Let's not think about it then. Let's go to our own place. Where we were before the teapot and Gordon's wonky brain." Severus said softly and put the mugs down, where they were soon forgotten.

"Sounds good to me. And when Kingsley and the others get back, and we figure out how to get rid of the Bind on me, I am going to marry you, Severus Snape. That is one promise I will never break."

Severus gently tilted Lily's head up and their lips met again, full of fiery passion. Lily felt Severus' hand on the small of her back and her body felt all tingly as she pressed closer into him, wanting him more then ever at that moment. Lily began unbuttoning Severus' shirt, her lips never leaving his, and when his shirt was open, she ran her hands over his chest, feeling him, wanting him. He ran his hand up the back of her thigh, and she moaned with pleasure. She was in heaven, there was nothing to worry about, she was with Sev, her Sev, there was no James, no Sirius, no Azkaban, or potions or spells, it was just them, together... and then Severus quickly broke away from her.

"What's wrong?" Lily said breathlessly, reaching for him, needing to touch him again.

"No, Lily, we can't. Not here." Severus looked around regretfully and started buttoning his shirt back up. "Your parents and sister are upstairs, Gordon is in the other room. And Kingsley might be back any moment."

Lily knew he was right, but nonetheless, she still felt that craving for him. She bent forward and whispered in his ear,"I want you so much, Sev right now, I can barely stand it."

Severus was almost ready to pull his clothes off when he heard the soft, suggestive lull in Lily's voice, but he managed to come back to reality. He was always practical, too practical, he thought ruefully as he looked at Lily, practically glowing with lust. He should try being crazy and spontaneous for once. But not today.

"I'm sorry, not tonight." Severus picked up his mug and headed back to the living room. Once Gordon had his eyes back on them, he was sure that he would lose that want for Lily under that creepy, unblinking stare.

"You're killing me, Severus Snape," Lily said, but she picked up her mug and followed him. The thought of her father finding her doing it on the kitchen table with Severus was enough to tone down her lust for Severus for the moment, and she shook her head, trying to clear it.

They spent the rest of the time silently waiting for Kingsley under Gordon's watchful eye, and not trying to make small talk this time.

**Ooh, there's so much more to come! I wish I could write faster! But I currently have five stories in progress, and I'm trying to update them all as quickly as I can! **

**Oh, if any of you are Supernatural fans, I published two stories, Actions Speak Louder Then Words, and Castiel's New York City Adventure. Please read and review if you like Supernatural.**

** Thank you, everyone, so much. I wouldn't be able to write without all these awesome reviews It spurs me to write and update quicker!**

**Dementors **


	17. The Book

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thank you for reviewing: visitor, Lupinesence, Saint Snape, Saramagician, hummingpetal, Raven's Dusk, flame55, Jaspreet, and chloeeeee**

**And thanks to everyone who favorited and added this to their story alert.**

**This chapter's a little short, but next one will be longer; it'll include Severus' trial.**

**Chapter 17 "The Book"**

Kingsley, Frank and Andria appeared in front of a brick apartment building. It was dark and quiet. There was no one around. Kingsley motioned his friends to follow him, and they climbed up the stairs to the fifth floor. They stopped in front of apartment number 35 and Kingsley knocked quietly on the door. When there was no reply, he used alohomora to unlock the door, and kept his eyes peeled as they entered the dark room. Frank flicked his wand and the lights came on.

It was a small apartment. The small hallway led to a sitting room that opened into a modest kitchen that doubled as a dining area. There were two closed doors which Kingsley guessed were the bedroom and the bathroom. He pointed at them, and Frank pushed one open, holding his wand in front of him, and Kingsley checked the other one, while Andria looked over the kitchen and living room.

"It's clear," Frank said. "No one's here."

"All right. Then let's see if we can find that book. I'll look in the bedroom," Kingsley gestured to the room behind the door that he had opened. He entered the dark room and flicked his wand so that it brightened. It was a mess. Clothes were thrown all over the room, bottles of cologne littered the top of the dresser, and there were food wrappers and bits of food scattered around.

Kingsley wrinkled his nose as he stepped over a piece of moldy cake on his way to the closet. He threw the double doors open. Most of the hangers were empty, as the clothes that were supposed to be hanging on them were on the floor outside. There were a few pairs of shoes thrown on the floor of the closet. Two boxes were stacked on the shelf above the clothes rack, and Kingsley levitated them down with his wand. They landed on the bed, and he opened the top one.

It contained papers and photographs. Some of them were of James and Lily, but most of them were of Potter and Black, sometimes accompanied with two other boys: a pudgy boy, and a sickly-looking pale boy. He dug through the rest of the papers, but there was nothing of interest there.

In the second box, there were more, and one of them caught Kingsley's eye as he shuffled through them. It was a wrinkled yellow page that looked like it was ripped from a book. It had a detailed description about an old mind-controlling curse. Could this be what Potter had put on Lily? He stuffed the page carefully in his pocket before rifling through the rest of the box's contents.

Then he went through the rest of the room, going through the drawers, looking under the bed and even between the mattresses, but he found nothing else. He replaced everything to how it was, and went to see how the others were doing. They were in the kitchen, bent over a book that was open on the kitchen table. Andria looked up when Kingsley entered and motioned him over excitedly. "I think we've found it!"

"Yeah, it full of dark magic. But we'll have to read through it to find out what potion he gave to Lily." Frank said, flipping through a few more pages.

"All right, let's bring this back to the Evans' house. We could look through it there. I think I found the instructions for the mind control curse, too." Kingsley said.

"It might take a while to find counters for the magic, Kingsley." Frank warned. He knew Kingsley was always eager to help, but sometimes he didn't think of the reality of the situation. "You know that, right? It might be difficult, or there might not even be counters."

"Yeah, but we're going to try." Kingsley said. He knew that there was some dark magic you couldn't reverse, but he hoped that that was not the case here. He wanted to help Lily, because he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to help Severus.

"Let's go, we'll start working on this right away." Kingsley picked up the old book and motioned for them to follow him out. "And I'll put some charms on the apartment, so if Potter comes back here, we'll know it."

When they were all out, Kingsley closed the door and waved his wand over it in a X motion. The door glowed blue for a second, then returned to its normal grey color.

The trio turned on the spot when they were outside, apparating back to the Evans'.

**As always, reviews are appreciated.**


	18. Counter-Curse

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thank you for reviewing: Althea27, lupinesence, Saramagician. LM Ryder, Eawynne, guests, flame55, Saint Snape, MockingjayLaufeyson, and Raven's Dusk.**

**No trial this chapter, sorry! I mixed up the chapters!**

**Chapter 18 "Counter-Curse"**

"We found it," Kingsley said excitedly to Severus and Lily. The three aurors were back at the Evans residence, and Kingsley was delighted to see Lily's face light up at his words.

"Oh, thank you!" Lily hugged Kingsley tightly, surprising him, but he was pleased at her reaction.

"Great." Severus looked relieved. Even if he did get chucked in Azkaban, at least Lily would be free from her bind to Potter.

Kingsley pulled the wrinkled paper out of his pocket, along with the Dark Magic spell book and placed them on the coffee table. Gordon picked the book up and looked at it in interest.

"It might take a while to break the curse and potion, though," Kingsley warned. He decided not to mention that they might not be able to be broken, and Frank shot him a look, but didn't say anything. "Frank, Andria, why don't you take a look through the book, and see if you can find the potion that Potter used on Lily, and Gordon can try to find a way to break the mind control curse." Kingsley prodded the old paper. "I want to talk to Severus about the trial tomorrow."

Frank grabbed the book, and Andria followed him into the kitchen. Gordon grabbed his assignment and joined the other two aurors in the kitchen.

"Now, about the trial." Kingsley sat down, and fear crossed Severus' face. "As I told you before, I don't know how they're going to rule. I don't want to give you false hope. But I'll take you there and stand for you, even if it costs me my job."

Severus started to argue, he didn't want anyone to get in trouble for him, but Kingsley interrupted. "And don't tell me no, because you need me there. And when I took this job, I wanted to help protect people, and that's what I'll be doing for you."

"Thank you," Severus said quietly. It still felt strange to have somebody on his side for once.

"The trial is early tomorrow morning. And Lily, you can come as a witness. I think once they hear your side of the story, they might be more forgiving. I will try my best to help you, but I can't promise anything. Now, the trial is in a few hours, so why don't you two get some sleep, and I'm going to go look at those curses, see if we can't find an antidote. I'll wake you when it's time to go, alright?" Kingsley gave them a reassuring smile before flicking his wand to turn off the light and leaving.

"He doesn't sound too optimistic, does he?" Severus said hopelessly and Lily hugged him. "I'll convince them not to lock you up, Sev. I swear. You won't go if I can help it."

Severus smiled and buried his face into Lily's red hair. It was strange how Lily's hair always comforted him, even in school. All he had to do was look at it, and it would bring him to different places. Watching a burning sunset over the ocean, walking through a forest and crunching on red fall leaves, picking bright scarlet apples in a peaceful orchard.

"You should get some sleep," Lily pushed him down onto the couch, and snuggled next to him, wrapping her arms around him protectively and laying her head on his chest.

Severus was going to object, saying that he couldn't possibly sleep with the thought of imprisonment loomed before him, he was going to suggest that they go and help the aurors try to break the curses, but Lily's warmth relaxed him. They might as well enjoy this last night together. Severus kissed Lily's forehead lightly, and she hugged him tighter. Severus stared at the ceiling and listened to the aurors muffled voices in the other room as he drifted off.

"I will protect you, Severus Snape. Just like you protected me. I will be here for you always," Lily whispered in his ear. Now that she could be called up as a witness, she would not let them take Sev from her for doing the right thing. That evil bastard deserved to die. Severus did the world a favor, and he shouldn't be locked up for that.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo Oo

"What about this one?" Andria pointed to the next potion. They had been going through the Dark Magic book for at least an hour and a half now, and Andria's eyes were starting to hurt.

"No, it's missing the lacewing flies that Severus told us about," Frank said. Severus had told them all the ingredients he could remember from the list Potter had given him in the potion's shop.

Frank turned another page in the Dark Potions chapter, and Kingsley inhaled as he looked at the squiggly writing. "Read the description,"

"Binds the recipient to the brewer forever. They will not be able to rebel, fight back, or leave. They must do as the brewer commands, and they will be unable to mostly on slaves and man servants."

"Yeah, but Lily said she broke the connection for a minute in the alley. How was she able to do that if they can't break the connection?" Frank frowned.

"She must have incredible mind power in order to do that. If she could break it with her mind, we might be able to find an antidote to break it." Andria said.

Frank looked skeptically at the page. "It says here it'll bind Lily to Potter forever, though."

"We can at least try," Kingsley said, giving Frank a look. Sometimes it seemed like he gave up too easily. "Alright. we're gonna need some ingredients though. We might have to brew the potion first to make an antidote."

Gordon grunted, and the three others jumped; they had almost forgotten he was there. "I think I can break this curse. It really isn't difficult." he said quietly.

"Great!" Kingsley restrained himself from pumping his fist in the air. "Well, when you figure out the exact spell, we'll go perform it on Lily. Then at least she'll be free of that. Meanwhile, I'm going to go ask Severus about potions ingredients."

"He really wants to help them," Frank whispered to Andria as Kingsley left. "but he's not taking into account that maybe they can't be helped."

"Frank, will you stop? Don't be so pessimistic." Andria shook her head. "Kingsley is very enthusiastic, and I respect him for that. There is always a chance, always a reason not to give up hope. And Kingsley always finds it. So jump on the bandwagon with us and help."

Frank grumbled under his breath. He was not a pessimist, he was a realist. But he didn't want to argue. He would always be there to help his friends, even if he didn't agree with what they were doing. He knew they couldn't just leave Lily like this, that would be a terrible way to live. So he gave in. Maybe they could find an antidote.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo Oo

"Severus," Kingsley leaned down and shook his shoulder gently, trying to avoid bothering Lily, who was sleeping next to him. Severus opened his eyes. "Is it time already?"

"No, I just wanted to ask if I could get some ingredients from the potions shop you work at."

"Of course. Did you find an antidote?" Severus said excitedly, and Lily stirred beside him.

"No, not for the potion yet. But Gordon thinks he could take the mind control curse off."

Severus grinned. Well, that would be at least one good thing. "Yeah, take anything you want. There are some protective charms on the shop you'll have to take off before you can enter." Severus told him the spells, and Kingsley jotted them down so he wouldn't forget.

"Thanks. Sorry for bothering you."

"Do you want help getting the ingredients? I could come and.."

"No, I think it's safer if you stay here with Lily." Kingsley smiled. "I have the others to help me."

"If you're sure.." Severus wanted to get up and help them, help them save Lily before he was locked up.

"Yeah. Don't worry. Hopefully we'll have this sorted out soon." Kingsley stuffed the piece of paper with the protective spell into his pocket and left again.

"Sev, what happened?" Lily asked sleepily.

"Nothing. Just go back to sleep. Everything is going to be fine." for you, Severus thought. You'll finally be free of Potter.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOo

"Okay, I'm going to get the list of ingredients that we need to rebrew the potion from Severus' shop, and then we can work on an antidote." Kingsley said to the other three aurors. He quickly scribbled what they needed on a piece of paper, and disappeared before they could say anything. He was back with the hour, and they set up a fire and a cauldron in the middle of the kitchen after fire-proofing the room first.

The potion was almost finished when Kingsley glanced at his watch. The black liquid boiled sinisterly in the cauldron as they added the last few ingredients, and then Kingsley said that he had to leave to bring Severus to his trial.

"Gordon, you have the counter-curse yet?" he asked the quiet auror. Gordon had been staring at that wrinkled old page while the rest of them were working on the potion, occasionally mumbling and swishing his wand through the air.

"Yes, I think so. I could try it on Lily if you want to see if it'll free her."

"Yeah, we'll do that before we leave." Kingsley motioned for Gordon to follow him, and asked the other two to keep working on the potion.

"Severus," Kingsley nudged Severus again. The sun was starting to shine through the window, and illuminated the couple on the couch. "Now it's time."

Severus sat up, gently pulling Lily up with him. "It is already? Can't I just stay here?"

Kingsley thought Severus was joking, but then he heard the serious tone of his voice. "I'm sorry, but we have to go," he smiled sadly. "But before we go, Gordon's going to try and lift the curse from Lily."

"You found the counter-curse?" Lily exclaimed, fully awake now.

"I believe so. If it works, you should feel lighter, like weight being lifted from you." Gordon explained. "Are you ready?"

"Yes!" Lily said fiercely. She was about to get rid of one of the horrible things that was binding her to James. How could she not be ready?

Gordon touched the tip of his wand to Lily's forehead before chanting under his breath as the others watched. Lily gasped as she felt cold wash over her .

"Lily, what's the matter?" Severus said, staring at her. Her usually rosy red cheeks had gone pale, and her eyes were glazing over. She collapsed to the ground as Gordon pulled his wand away.

"Lily!" Severus shook her frantically. He glanced at the aurors. "Do something!"

"I was sure that that would work," Gordon murmured.

"Well, it didn't. What did you do to her? Lily!" Severus shook her again, her head lolling back and forth. Suddenly he couldn't breathe. Lily was dead. After everything, Lily was dead, because a stupid auror did the counter curse wrong, and he was going to prison with the dementors and Lily was dead and James was free and Lily was dead.. Severus began hyper-ventilating and Kingsley looked at him worriedly.

"Severus, are you all right?"

"She's dead, she's dead." Severus choked out between his heaving breaths.

"Severus, I don't think she's..."

"Look at her, you've killed her!" Severus cried.

"I think you're over-reacting, she's fine." Kingsley placed a hand on Severus' shoulder, trying to comfort him, but he shook it off, still clutching Lily tightly.

Lily suddenly gasped and opened her eyes. Severus looked down at her in shock and she smiled.

"Oh my God, Lily. Are you alright?" Severus found his voice.

"I'm fine. I feel so much better, like I'm free. I can still feel the potion, but the curse is gone, it feels so good!"

"Don't do that ever again!" Severus hugged her tightly, relief washing over him.

"I'm sorry about that," Gordon said apologetically. "I didn't know there would be a side effect of the counter-curse."

"I feel so good!" Lily laughed. "I don't care if I grew horns, thank you so much!"

Gordon smiled at the young lady. It made him feel good to help someone like this. "You're welcome. If you don't mind, I think I'll go back and help the others now."

"Alright, now that that's over, it's trial time," Kingsley said. He was happy to see that Severus had calmed down since Lily came to, but that incident had showed him how much he really cared for her. He had practically gone into shock at seeing her 'dead'. If she had died for real, Kingsley had a feeling Severus wouldn't be long behind. He wouldn't be able to live without her.

"We're apparating there?" Lily asked Kingsley, and he nodded. He led them to the front door, and replaced the protective charms once they were all on the stoop. They started down the walk, Lily behind the two men, so they had their back to her when she was hit with the stunning spell.

**Next is a James chapter. And then, hopefully, the trial!**


	19. Kid-napping the Red Head

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Chapter 19 "Kid-napping the Red Head"**

James had been waiting outside Lily's house. He had seen the Aurors coming and going, and he knew they put protective charms on the house. He knew it would be stupid to try and break in, so he decided to wait for Snape and Lily to come to him. They couldn't stay inside forever.

He had peeked in the living room window, and he had seen Snape holding his possession on the couch, protecting her. The bastard. They would all die. Slowly and painfully, he would make sure of it. The thing that angered him the most was that Lily seemed happy with Snape. He wanted to tear all her hair out and make Snape eat it when he saw Lily looking at Snape with that love in her eyes; it sickened him.

He was getting impatient, waiting, so he broke into the muggles' house next door. There was an old couple living there, and he killed them without a second thought. They were going to go soon anyway. He knew the Ministry would most likely not be able to tell he used magic in this muggle house, because it was in close proximity to Lily, who was a witch. He looked through the old couples' refrigerator and couldn't find what he was looking for: beer. He slammed the door shut angrily. He paced back and forth until he saw the sun peeking over the horizon. When were they going to come out? Were they waiting for him, trying to protect Snape and Lily so he didn't hurt them? Surely they would make some kind of move soon.

He felt a twinge, and knew the mind control curse had been broken. How they had found a counter-curse, he didn't know, but Lily was free of it now, she wasn't just fighting it off. It felt like a rope that had been attaching them was severed. Now there was one left, and he had to get her before they found an antidote, if one existed, for the potion.

James glanced out the window, and to his surprise, saw the Evans' front door finally opening. He quickly went out the back door of the old couple's house, and crouched in some low bushes just on the side of the muggle house as he watched Snape, Lily and one of the Aurors exiting. Stupid idiots didn't even look around to survey the surroundings. Lily followed the two men, and James saw his chance. He pulled out his wand and within seconds, he had stunned Lily, and used Wingardium leviosa to levitate her body to him. He picked her up, feeling the familiar warmth of Lily in his arms and smirked. Now he would get his revenge. Snape and the Auror didn't even notice that she was gone yet. How stupid could they get? Should he show them, so Snape would know who took Lily, and come after him, so he could kill the filthy bastard?

Lily suddenly opened her eyes, looked up at James' face hazily, and screamed as she recognized him, her eyes full of fear.

"Shut up!" James hissed and clapped a hand over Lily's mouth, but the damage was done.

The two men looked around, and horror crossed Snape's face as he saw who was restraining Lily. The Auror pulled out his wand, and shot a spell, but it missed. James shot Snape a smirk before quickly Disapparating with Lily.

**Oh no! James has Lily! Will Severus be able to save her in time? Let's hope so. **

**Please reviewwwww!**


	20. The Search

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for reviewing: Snivillus-Lives-28, flame55, Eawynne, Saramagician, Saint Snape, Jaspreet, and hummingpetal**

**Chapter 20 "The Search"**

"Lily!" Severus screamed as Potter Disapparated. God! How could this happen? How could he be so stupid! "I have to go after her! He's going to kill her!"

"Severus, we don't even know where she is," Kingsley said. He felt like an idiot; he had let his guard down. He wasn't expecting that at all. He figured they would be safe, just going down the drive. Obviously Potter was smart enough not to try to break into the house, or they would have been alerted to his presence.

"I have to find her!" Severus went to head in the direction that the two had disappeared from, but Kingsley grabbed his arm to stop him.

"What are you doing?" Severus cried desperately.

"You can't go. We have to go to the trial. I'll send Andria, Frank and Gordon to find her."

"You honestly expect me to go to the Ministry when that bastard has Lily? No!" Severus ripped his arm out of Kingsley's grasp.

"And if you go and miss this trial, you will be thrown in Azkaban." Kingsley said. "And if you don't find Lily and get sent to Azkaban, you'll never know what happened to her. If they let you go, we can join the search for her."

"She needs me!" Severus cried. They were wasting time talking, he had to go after Lily.

"The best way to help her is to make the jury aware that James Potter is out there. Then they can send the whole Auror office and we will find him. There is nothing you can do now." Kingsley felt like this was a lost cause, but he had to keep trying. He wanted to go after Lily, too, but he knew that the other three Aurors could handle it, but obviously Severus didn't.

"But..."

"Please, listen to me, Severus. I trust my friends completely. I know they will find her. But we have to get you to the trial." Kingsley pleaded. He knew the odds for Severus would not be good if they missed the trial.

"I can't." Severus didn't care what Kingsley said, he couldn't concentrate on saving himself from a life of imprisonment if Lily was in trouble, getting tortured by Potter. Before Kingsley could say anything else, Severus Disapparated, and Kingsley cursed aloud. How the Hell was he supposed to fix this now? It was his fault, he should have been more aware..shit!

He stood thinking for a minute, before deciding to get the other three Aurors inside and searching on their own. They would have to figure out to do about the trial later. He hoped Severus wouldn't do anything stupid with James Potter to further jeopardize himself and lower his chances to get off and not be imprisoned.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Severus appeared inside Potter's apartment building in front of his door. He smashed it in and searched inside, but there was nobody there. He hadn't thought there would be, but it was worth a shot. Where else would Potter go? Black's house, maybe? No, he wouldn't go there, Black's parents were still alive, as far as he knew, and he didn't think they would be pleased to see Potter. Black's apartment? But he didn't know where that was. Maybe there was a clue in Potter's apartment.

Severus began tearing the place apart desperately, looking for any clue that might lead him to Potter. He pulled some papers out that were stacked on the kitchen counter. It looked like some of them were older; they were just scribbles that had never been thrown away. A small slip of paper fell to the floor and Severus picked it up. It said: Sirius: 106 Marine Place.

Severus' heart pumped faster; that must be his address.

"Hey! What are you doing!" A man was standing in Potter's busted doorway, looking angry. "You don't live here! I'm calling the cops, you're trespassing.."

"Stupefy!" Severus flicked his wand at the muggle man, and he fell unconscious to the ground. Severus stepped over his body on the way out. Normally he wouldn't have done such a thing, but he was too worried about Lily to care. If anything happened to her..he didn't even want to think about it. He always knew she was there, even if she was with Potter, but if she died, and she wasn't there when he needed comfort, he wouldn't be able to live. It would be his fault for not protecting her, and he would never forgive himself for that. When he got into the hallway, he Disapparated to the address on the slip of paper.

When he opened his eyes, he was looking at a large stone house surrounded by a black wrought iron fence. Was this Black's place? Severus thought it was supposed to be an apartment. But then, maybe it was an apartment to Black. After all, he was used to living in his parent's mansion. This most seem small compared to that; it must seem like an apartment to him. He pushed open the squeaky gate and started down the walkway, his wand drawn. This place desperately needed a gardener; dead leaves were piled up under the untrimmed bushes. Plants spilled haphazardly out of the flower beds, and the gnarled trees reached out with their crooked fingers in all directions.

Severus peeked in one of the windows. It was dark inside. Severus took a deep breath. If Potter was in there, he would probably be waiting for him. But if Potter had Lily, what else was he going to do? He would fight, and if he got hurt, so be it. But he would destroy James Potter first for everything that he did. Severus tried to control his furiously pumping heart, and he felt the blood rushing through his veins as he used his wand to unlock the door. He stepped inside, ready to be attacked, but there was no one there. He flicked his wand, and the lights came on in the house.

The entrance hall was beautiful, with a tapestry featuring a garden hanging against one wall, and an antique iron chandelier hanging from the high ceiling. A staircase with a wooden railing carved with leaves led upstairs.

Severus crept into the room that was on the right of the entrance. It was a magnificent parlor, with old furniture, a plush carpet, and paintings of landscapes. The molding of the room was painted in gold, and the heavy velvet curtains were red.

This did not look like the type of house Sirius Black would live in. It looked like it belonged to some lonely old lady who was ready to expect company at any time even though she didn't have any friends. But Severus had to be sure that Potter was not here. He finished checking the first floor rooms, which was only a kitchen, a dining room and a small bathroom decorated in shades of pink and cream.

He thought he saw a movement in the dining room, behind the heavy oak table that was set with patterned china and good silverware, but it was just a shadow. He headed back to the entrance hall and began up the twirling staircase, trying to tread lightly so the stairs wouldn't creak. There were three doors up here.

When he opened the first one he was met with a surprise. It was if his eyes were assaulted after the lovely decorated rooms downstairs. It was a very large bedroom, painted dark green. There were posters of bikini clad women pasted over the walls, some muggle posters where the muggle girls' smiles were beginning to fade, others where witches were winking seductively and waving in a come-here gesture. The blankets on the large king bed were mussed, and there were clothes piled on it. A good quality racing broom was leaning against a wall, and another wall was covered by a bookshelf that held many old cracked leather books that looked like they contained Dark Magic. A black cauldron stained with purple splotches stood in the corner with some scary looking dried somethings scattered around it. Vials of some red liquid that looked suspiciously like blood stood on the dresser. Strange silver amulets lay scattered across the top of the dresser, shining evilly in the light. There were pictures stuck into the edges of the large mirror that was attached to the dresser. Severus looked at them; they were all of Sirius Black and his buddies: James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin.

So this definitely was Black's place. The downstairs must be used as a sort of cover for anyone that came over. They would see the downstairs, and not think that a crazy psychopathic wizard lived here. Severus suppressed a shudder as he took in the room again. He knew there was nobody here, but he still had to check the other two rooms up here to be completely sure.

The black carpet in the hallway was soft under his feet as he padded to the other two doors. One was another bathroom with an old cracked, clawed tub, and a shelf full of different magical hair products.

The other was another bedroom. This room looked normal, except for the magical handcuffs on the bed that clanked menacingly when he came near. Sexy lingerie poked out of a dresser drawer, and there was a mirror on the ceiling right above the bed. There were also some suspicious looking items lying in a corner..whips, spiked collars, and Severus realized disgustedly that this was Sirius Black's sex room.

"Oh, Merlin." Black was indeed a disgusting man. How many women had he brought up here? Whether they wanted to come, or not, judging by the handcuffs. Unless that was just kinky thing that Black and his lady for the night liked to do.

Severus shook his head, trying to rid himself of these thoughts. He had to find Lily right now. And get out of this room. He quickly shut the door behind him and stood silently in the hallway, else could he be?

Severus racked his brain for any place Potter could have taken Lily, but that could be anywhere in town, or even out of town. Severus didn't know Potter's regular haunts. The bastard could be anywhere. Severus rubbed his temples, beginning to panic. He took several deep breaths, trying to calm down and think, but Lily's frightened face kept popping into his mind, along with possible things Potter could be doing to her.

"Lily!" Severus cried out suddenly. "Damn it! I should have been watching you! I'm so stupid!" Severus clutched his hair in frustration. He had no idea where to look next, or any possible way of tracking her. He thought of that smirk Potter had given him before he Disapparated, and his blood boiled in fury. He would kill Potter if it was the last thing he did. Even if he went to Azkaban, it would be worth it to see Potter die, feel the life leaving him. He would torture Potter until nothing but a bloody mess remained.

That smile was almost like..egging him on. Daring Severus to come and find him. That's what Potter would want. He would want to kill Severus, too. Like in the alley. He would want Severus to watch Lily die, to cause him the most pain as possible.

Severus gave himself a mental slap and tried to slow his racing heart. He changed his thinking. Obviously, if Potter wanted Severus to come for her, he would have brought Lily to somewhere where Severus knows. Where were places that connected him and Potter, places where they fought?

The only place he could think of was Hogwarts. But Potter couldn't have brought her there, not with all the students and teachers, and Dumbledore. How would Potter explain being there?

One particular incident popped into Severus' mind and he sat down hard on the plush carpet, his head spinning. He knew where Potter had taken her. He was almost positive. It would be the perfect place, and even if she screamed, no one would notice. The Shrieking Shack.

When Potter had played that horrible life-threatening 'prank' as Potter had called it, and managed to convince Severus to go through the tunnel that was under the Whomping Willow on the grounds, it led to an old house. He couldn't remember how Potter had convinced him to go under that tree, but afterwards, he couldn't believe he had been that stupid to listen to Potter.

The old house was located in Hogsmeade Village, and it had come to be known as the Shrieking Shack, as it was named after the villagers heard screaming coming from the shack, and thought it was ghosts. But Remus Lupin was using that house to transform into his werewolf form, as he was infected with lycanthropy. He would howl and scream during the full moon, and that was what the villagers heard. It was a safe place for him to transform so he couldn't hurt anyone. Or so everyone thought until Potter sent Severus down that tunnel. But as he traveled down the dark dirt tunnel, tripping over gnarled roots that stuck out of the ground, he could hear those growls. And when he reached the end and came to a heavy wooden door that couldn't even block those menacing sounds, he went back the way he came. Especially after the beast started trying to break down the door, and howled as if it could smell him. He wasn't stupid.

That incident had caused a major fight because Severus had gone to Dumbledore and told him what had happened, and the Marauders were punished severely. Lupin's lycanthropy was kept quiet,but Severus still felt bad for him, because although it wasn't his fault, but he was punished as well.

And Severus knew that's where Potter was. The site of that big fight that caused the Marauders to try and exact revenge on him for months afterward. It was something that would stick in Severus' mind for a long time. That's where he would go next. And if by some chance Lily was not there, then he didn't know what he would do. He spun on the spot, leaving Black's strange house, and reappeared on the wide dirt road of Hogsmeade Village. People were milling around, as it wasn't too late in the afternoon yet, talking with friends, eating and shopping.

Nobody noticed the black-robed young man appear in thir midst, they were too concerned with their own business. Severus headed straight for the shack, which was on the outskirts of town, near the forest. An old wooden fence that was starting to fall apart with age surrounded the old boarded up shack. Severus was surprised to see a group of young children, all around nine years old, standing and staring at the house with wide eyes. They were whispering together, and casting fearful glances at the slanted old Shack.

"What happened?" Severus asked from behind the children, and they all jumped.

"There were noises coming from there before," a little girl with large brown eyes whispered, pointing at the house. "The ghosts were screaming."

"Oh, shit!" Severus ran his hands through his hair. What was Potter doing to Lily to make her scream so loud that the neighborhood children could hear? Severus turned to the children, who were all staring at him.

"Alright, all of you get out of here now," Severus told them, and they didn't need telling twice. Severus watched their retreating backs; he didn't want anyone around, just in case. He didn't want Potter killing any children.

Severus hopped the wooden fence, and held his wand in from of him as he got closer to the house. It seemed to stare down at him with its boarded up eyes, towering above him in all of its rotting glory. The front door had just about rotted off of its' hinges, and Severus went to push it open, when a hand grabbed his shoulder tightly. He tried to scream out a spell, but found that he was already disarmed.

"Severus! It's me." Kingsley released Severus' arm and handed him back his wand. Severus looked incredulously at him. "How did you..."

"I followed you. I put a charm on Potter's apartment so we would know if he came back to it. So when you went there, I knew. I found that slip of paper that had Black's address on it. And I found that man that you stunned." Kingsley frowned at Severus. "You really have to be careful. You can't go using magic on muggles, even if someone you love is in trouble."

Severus ignored him. It had been the easiest way to get away, and there was no damage done, so what was the harm?

"By the time I got to Sirius' house, you were gone, but I used a spell that detected the spot where you Apparated from, and I was able to Apparate to the same location. So here I am. The others are still searching, just in case Lily isn't here, but I came to help you."

Severus nodded slowly. "I'm pretty sure Lily is here. Potter and I had a big fight at school over something he did, and the Shack was involved." He turned back to the house. "Let's go, then."

Severus pulled open the door, trying to not let it creak, and they entered the dark, dreary house.

**Ooooh! Is Sev gonna get to Lily in time? **

**Next chapter is James and Lily! Poor Lily! wait till you see what happens to her, I'm so horrible!**

**Please review!**


	21. Honey, I'm back!

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for reviewing: Eawynne, Saint Snape, hummingpetal, Raven's Dusk, and visitor.**

**Warning: Rape scene{but not too explicit!}**

**Chapter 21 "Honey, I'm back!"**

James brought them to an old dirty bedroom. There was a four poster bed in the middle of the room whose pink faded hangings were shredded stuffing in the mattress puffed out here and there , dropping to the floor in soft tufts. Deep scratch mark covered the walls and the filthy floorboards. Bits of plaster and wood shavings were scattered on the floor from the scratches. Dust had accumulated in the corners and on top of the bits of broken furniture in the room. It looked as if some wild beast had been locked up in here for a long length of time.

James threw the struggling Lily to the floor and she scrambled up, heading for the door, but James stopped her with his mind.

"Tsk, tsk, little Lily. You might have broken one of my binds, but you haven't found the antidote to the potion yet." he made Lily stand stock still as he stood behind her. He pulled the hair away from her ear and whispered into it. He could almost hear her heart beating in fear.

"Now, I have no doubt Snape will come after us. Actually, I'm counting on it, but until he finds us, why don't we have some fun while you're still alive? It might be awhile before he finds us, because I don't think you even know where we are, do you?" James pushed Lily's hair aside so he could kiss the soft skin on her neck. He didn't know what was with him and Lily. He still desired her even though she was a cheating self-centered bitch. So he would have as much fun with her as he wanted before he had to kill her, because she could not be allowed to live after this.

Lily gagged as James kissed her neck. The brush of his lips against her was revolting; she could smell his foul breath that reaked of beer, and she could feel his rough hand creeping under her shirt and touching the small of her back. How could this be happening again? How did he even get her? One minute she was with Severus and Kingsley, the next, looking up at James.

Her heart gave a jolt as she remembered the look of horror on Severus' face when he saw that James had her. He would come after her, and he would get hurt again. Or maybe he would kill James, and definitely get thrown into Azkaban. Either way, it would go badly for him.

"Stop thinking about him! I can hear your thoughts!" James screamed suddenly in her ear. He pulled a small silver knife from his pocket and held it up so the light in the room glinted off it. Lily looked at it fearfully, still unable to move. He was going to kill her, and she couldn't stop it. Even if she could break the connection like she had in the alley, she would pass out from the effort, and then he could do anything to her.

James smiled as he drew the knife across her left cheek, going as slowly as he could to cause more pain. It wasn't too deep, just deep enough to hurt, and he enjoyed the pain that he saw in Lily's eyes. Tears of agony ran down Lily's face, mingling with the blood, and the salt made the cut burn more.

"Don't think about Snape, or you'll get worse." satisfied with his action, he resumed kissing her neck, and then she felt a burst of pain as he nipped her and drew blood. James licked the droplets of blood that formed in his teeth marks, savoring the metallic iron taste.

"Lily, go to the bed." James' heart was pumping with adrenaline, he could feel his body waking up as the taste of Lily's blood filled his mouth. He felt excited; he wanted MORE Lily. Lily tried to stop herself, she knew what was coming, but she was worn out from fighting. She laid on the musty mattress that was speckled with rodent droppings, and screamed inside as James sat on top of her and started unbuttoning her shirt. Then he stopped, considering her thoughtfully with a malicious glint in his eyes. "Don't you think that this would be more fun if I let you go?"

Lily suddenly felt his grip on her mind loosen, and she immediately began struggling underneath him, and tried to push him off.

"That's what I like," James moaned softly as Lily flailed beneath him. He held her arms down as she screamed and pressed his mouth upon hers, looking right into her frightened eyes. He released his hold on one of her hands, and sliced her blouse open with his knife, leaving a thin line of blood trailing down her stomach.

"No!" Lily sobbed and with her free hand she hit James hard across the face. He looked angry for a minute, and then smiled; the pain that she had left in his face excited him more. "There's the fierce fighting Lily I know!" he slashed the other side of her face with his knife and she screamed as the blood dripped down her neck. It felt so good to hurt this little bitch, to teach her a lesson after everything she did.

He smacked her hard, and a yellow tinged bruise began to form above her left eye, joining her bruised lips where James had pressed too hard. She stopped fighting for a moment, stunned by the hit, and James caressed her brassiere-clad breasts gingerly. He went to remove the piece of clothing that was separating his fingers from her skin, but stopped when he sensed something. He brought his hand lower onto her smooth, pale stomach, and let it rest there, his mouth dropping open in shock. Lily continued to struggle beneath him, not noticing James' expression in her fear.

"You're pregnant?" James looked at her, fury burning in his eyes. If this was Snape's doing...

"What are you talking about?" Lily sobbed, her cheeks stinging under the streams of tears, not comprehending, not understanding what he was saying.

"Did Snape do this?" James shook Lily hard, her head snapping back and forth. It was bad enough that Snape had stolen his possession, but if he had planted a seed, too..he would pay.

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Did you have sex with Snape, you little BITCH!" James screamed, stabbing Lily's shoulder. She wailed in pain as James twisted the knife in her flesh.

"Answer me! Tell the truth!" he put his hold on her again so she would speak.

"No! I never did! Only with you, James, only with you!" Lily choked out between her broken breaths, her shoulder burning.

"Then it's mine." James suddenly sneered. He would leave it in Lily, tell Snape about it. What would Snape think? It would be wonderful to watch his face contort in fury as he learned the truth. He must have known James had sex with Lily, but now he'll know that James planted a seed, too. When James Potter does something, he does it all the way.

"I'm not pregnant, I would know. How would you know if I don't?" Lily sobbed. The thought of something that was part James growing inside her was revolting, even if it was an innocent child. She felt like slicing her stomach open and tearing it out. She didn't want to believe James, but now that he said that, she realized she had been feeling strange lately, for about a month; tired and cranky, and she had been throwing up in the morning. But she had thought it was from stress from dealing with James, the thought that she could be pregnant never crossed her mind.

"I'm in control, Lily. I can feel your body. And I know. But that doesn't matter now." James pulled off his shirt, and then his sweaty body was on top of Lily. She screamed again as he leaned on her injured shoulder. "You'll remember this forever. Until I kill you, anyway," James through his knife aside, and let his lust take over, ripping the rest of Lily's clothes off forcefully.

Lily screamed the whole time James raped her and fought madly against him, but to no avail. Finally, after what seemed like days to Lily, James decided he was finished with her. He made her lay on the bed, naked, bloody and exhausted while he got dressed and then he sat beside her, the bedsprings creaking beneath him. James stroked her cheek where it wasn't slashed. "Now that wasn't so bad was it?"

Lily whimpered. It felt like she had been beaten with a car. She felt defeated, exhausted, humiliated. She wanted Severus to save her, to take her away from James. She wished she was with him, inside his arms, his circle of love and protection.

James' eyes widened as he read her thoughts. "I told you to stop thinking about him," James whispered quietly, and Lily paled. She heard the cold fury in his voice, and it was terrifying. What was he going to go to her now?

"Let me give you a present, my Sweet Lily. So you'll know who you belong to." he picked up his knife again, and grinned at the red-haired woman. He touched the tip to the skin of her belly, and she inhaled as she felt the cold tip push into her flesh. James began to slowly carve words into her bare stomach. He made her stay still, because he didn't want to mess up his work of art, but he let her scream as he worked, because he loved the sound. It was full of pain and fear, and it was delicious.

When James was done, Lily's entire belly was drenched in blood, dripping down and dotting mattress. James used a strip of the pink bed hangings to wipe her stomach, so he could admire his work clearly.

"Take a look," James made Lily look down and she saw in horror that he had carved 'James Potter and Lily Evans Forever' into her skin.

"And so it can't be removed..." James swished his wand over Lily, and the cuts glowed black for a moment before returning to scarlet. "There's a curse for everything, nowadays. It's very useful, don't you think? Isn't it beautiful?" Even though Lily thought much differently {it was the most horrible thing she ever saw} James made her nod yes.

"I'm glad you agree. Now you lay there like a good girl, and don't bleed out yet. We'll wait for Snivellus and when he comes, I'll kill him. After he sees his precious Lily, of course." James patted her bare thigh and left the room. Lily got a glance of a dreary hallway as he opened the bedroom door. She heard the door lock click behind him; he must have locked it with his wand. She found she could move again; James must have released her. He probably figured she couldn't get out; there were no windows in this room, and the only door was locked.

She stood shakily from the bed, her body aching, and bent to pick up her clothes from the floor, hurriedly dressing as fast as she could. She ripped a strip from her shirt and tied it as tightly around her bleeding shoulder as she could. Her shirt was ruined, but she put it on over her bra anyway. She winced as she touched her stomach. She hoped those words could be healed somehow, even though James cursed them. She tucked her shirt into her pants so she wouldn't have to look at the offensive cuts.

Lily suddenly felt so drained and exhausted, and she sat on the bed and leaned against the headboard. She remembered what James said about her being pregnant. She placed a hand on her stomach again, not pressing too hard because of the slashes. It was about time that this happened, really. They had had sex so many times, usually James coercing her into doing it. And they didn't use any protection. But she had been feeling this way for about a month now...so it happened before Severus.

Oh, Sev. What would he think? Tears began trickling from Lily's eyes again, and she pressed her palms against them, trying to hold the tears in. If they both survived this, and James was arrested, what would they do? Did Lily really want to keep this child? Every time she looked at it, it would remind her of James, all the beatings, the pain, torture, control. It would be like a vessel, harboring all her bad feelings and hate against James. It would remind her of her bad decision. If she started a new life with Severus, she would have to get rid of everything from her old life, everything that made her think of James.

She let her back relax against the headboard and grimaced as her shoulder gave a twinge. The blood had already soaked through the strip of cloth she had tied around her shoulder, and was staining her shirt. She groaned as she felt her vision go hazy. She had lost alot of blood between the slashes on her cheeks, stomach and shoulder. But she couldn't pass out, she _wouldn't_ pass out. Lily tried to stand, thinking that if she walked around, she could stay awake, but it was a bad idea. She felt the haze take over. She felt cold and light, and then her legs were too weak to hold her up, and she collapsed on the floor, her red hair splayed around her like a pool of blood.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

James locked the bedroom door behind him, then headed down the hallway of the Shack to another room,which had a window where the boards were starting to fall off. He peered through the crack in the wood which revealed a grimy strip of glass, to check to see if anyone was coming Snape came, he would be ready. He would disarm him,stun him, and torture him. He would kill Lily in front of Snape,and then he would kill Snape. He pulled a chair up to the window, ripped the rest of the boards off of it, and kept watching for Snape. His eyelids staring drooping after a few minutes...after all, he hadn't slept in about a day, and all the fighting he had done with Lily had tired him out. Despite his best efforts, he drifted off against the dirty windowsill while Lily lay unconscious in the bedroom down the hall.

**Oh, poor Lily! Severus needs to come save her, scoop her up, and take her away!**

**Please review!**


	22. The Trial

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for reviewing: I'm a Witch So Deal With It, hummingpetal, Professor Radar, Saint Snape, Eawynne, Jaspreet, duj, anotherboarduser, Saramagician, LordBan, flame55, Whitelion, and guest**

**Hope this isn't too long for ya!**

**Chapter 22 "The Trial"**

Kingsley and Severus quietly made their way through the old house, searching each room as they passed it. But there was no one to be found. Severus thought he heard a light rustle behind him at one point, and whirled around, but there was nothing there. Kingsley looked at him questioningly, but he just shook his head. He felt his heart sinking as each room turned up empty. Maybe Lily wasn't here...unless their was some secret passage somewhere. They finally came to the last door, and it was locked.

Severus raised his eyebrows; none of the other doors were locked, perhaps they were in here?

"Alohomora," Severus whispered, and the lock clicked and the door swung open slowly. There was somebody in this room, lying unconscious on the floor.

"Lily!" Severus cried, dropping to his knees beside her. What had he done to her? Dried blood crusted her cheeks from two deep slashes, and blood drenched her ripped blouse. Her face was pale and colorless, and Severus feared for the worst. "Lily?" He grabbed her up in his arms, holding her tightly, praying she wasn't gone, that he wasn't too late. He patted her cheek desperately. "Lily, please wake up,"

"Here, let me try," Kingsley stepped forward, and Severus jumped. He had forgotten the Auror was there as soon as he had caught sight of Lily. "Enervate." Kingsley said, touching the tip of his wand to her chest.

After a few seconds, Lily opened her eyes blearily. She tried to focus on who was holding her, hoping it wasn't James, because she didn't have any more strength to fight him. When her vision cleared, she saw two black eyes staring worriedly at her, and she relaxed, relief washing over her.

"Severus." she buried her face in his neck and cried heartily, letting everything out.

"I'm sorry, Lily," Severus said desperately, running a hand through her hair. "I should have been watching you, protecting you..."

Lily cried harder at that statement, and hugged the man she loved tighter.

Kingsley was looking around the room. Something was clearly amiss. Where was Potter? Why would he just leave Lily here for them to find? Something wasn't right, he could feel it...

Suddenly, a stunning curse flew from nowhere, hitting Kingsley in the chest, and he fell to the ground, unconscious.

Severus whirled around at the thump, but he didn't see anyone. The next second, he had dropped Lily to the floor, because he found himself strung up by his ankles as if by some invisible rope. Lily yelped as she hit the floor, and struggled to stand up.

Severus' wand had fallen from his hand in surprise, and he watched in shock as it picked itself up from where it was lying and shot through the air to the corner of the room, where a disembodied hand caught it. Soon, the hand was joined by the rest of the body, when James Potter pulled off his Invisibility Cloak. He chuckled as Severus struggled, twisting madly in the air.

"Oh, Snivellus, I knew you would come. That's why I didn't kill her yet." Potter pointed at Lily. "But I did leave my mark. Show him, Lily."

Under James' control, Lily lifted her shirt, and the words James had carved there stood out against her pale skin, burning red with inflammation. She couldn't look at the horror on Severus' face, the guilt, and then the fury.

"Now you know she's mine. And everyone will know. She has always been mine." Potter laughed. "But now that you're here, it's time for both of you to die." He swished his wand at Lily, and she flew into the wall, giving a yelp of pain.

"You bastard, Potter! I swear to God, I'll rip you limb from limb! I'll kill you!" Severus screamed, as Lily lay motionless, crumpled in a heap on the floor.

"Yeah, go ahead and try it. I've got your wand, or have you forgotten?" Potter cackled, and a fury rose in Severus like never before. It was different from the anger he felt when he was bullied at school, because there was someone else involved here this time, it wasn't just about him. It was the desperation, the guilt, the anger that swirled inside him and made him feel like he was going to explode. And then suddenly he found himself on the ground, rushing at Potter, who had a look of confused shock written across his face.

James' wand tumbled to the ground as Severus knocked Potter to the floor and slammed his fist into that hated face. Everything else was lost in Severus' mind. Only one thing was important to him at that moment: beating the living hell out of James Potter. Despite the few punches Severus had landed on the other man's face, it was a bloody mess already, lip swelling up and nose broken, pouring blood onto the filthy floor.

But Potter was bigger and stronger then Severus, and was able to flip Severus off of himself once he came out of the shock of Severus attacking him. He kneed Severus hard in the stomach, and Severus fell, gasping for breath; it felt like both his lungs were gone. He got another kick in the face, and Potter stood above him laughing.

"You always were so weak, Snivellus," Potter pulled him up by the front of his robes, blocking Severus' furious punches, and smashed his fist into Severus face again and again, relentlessly, until Severus could barely see out of his puffed and swollen eyelids.

"James!" Potter turned, and Lily kicked him hard in the crotch before he could do anything to her. He let go of Severus and fell to the floor, howling.

"Crucio!" Lily pointed Severus' wand, which she had retrieved from the floor, at James, and he writhed on the ground, screaming.

"How do you like it?" Lily said quietly, staring at James. "It doesn't feel very good, does it?"

"CRUCIO!" James screamed again. Lily wondered briefly why he didn't stop her with his mind, and then she knew. His mind was enduring intense pain, and he couldn't focus on controlling her. Lily reached into James' pockets, searching, while James screamed through another Cruciartus curse. She finally found what she was looking for: the small silver knife that James had used on her.

"And I bet this isn't going to feel good, either, is it?" She whispered in his ear, and slashed his face.

"Please, no, please!" James begged, tears of agony rolling down his face. "Please, stop! I'm sorry!"

Lily looked at him amused. Sorry? He was sorry? "I really think it's too late for that, James. It's too late for apologies." She slashed the other side of his cheek, as he had done to her, and crucioed him again. She felt free, light-hearted. To watch James scream and flail in pain, by her doing, after these years that she had spent with him, was glorious. There was no way she could describe it, but she felt alive every time he screamed. Every tear, every drop of blood that fell from him gave her strength, and she wanted to hurt him more, and in worse ways.

"Petrificus totalus!" she cried, and James became stiff as a board. She knew he couldn't control her now. His mind was frozen, just as it was when he was in pain. She had found the potion's weakness. She had broken away from him, she was safe, but he wasn't. She kneeled beside him, and saw fear in his eyes for once. It was finally the other way around. She felt strange, like she was high on revenge, detached from this world.

"You took my heart, James Potter. It's about time that I should take yours, don't you think?" Lily stabbed the knife into James' chest, right above his heart, and twisted it sharply. Even though he couldn't scream, or react in any way, the pain in his eyes was enough for Lily. "Or maybe that's not enough? Maybe I should hit you where it really counts." She jabbed the knife into his crotch and laughed.

"Lily!" Kingsley, who had come to, grabbed the woman's arm before she could do anything else. After everything, he didn't want to see both Severus and Lily thrown in jail.

"Stop! He deserves it! Can't you see?" Lily screamed and fought against Kingsley.

"Yes, he does. But two wrongs do not make a right. And there is someone else who needs your attention right now," Kingsley nodded to Severus, who was groaning on the floor, and that strange feeling began to leave Lily as she took in Severus' bleeding, broken face. She felt horrible; she had become as bad as James, with the knife,and the curses. How could she have done such things? It was just that feeling that had come over her: a feeling of control, teaching James a lesson.

Before releasing him from the body bind, Kingsley waved his wand, and ropes twirled out of the end and bound James tightly. The man began to scream as soon as his voice was free.

"You bitch! You little bitch!" he howled at Lily.

"Silencio." Kingsley said, and James lost his voice again. "You're going to go to Azkaban. I hope it was worth it for you." He grabbed James' arm and hauled him up before glancing at Lily.

"I'm going to take care of him. Once you two are cleaned up, just come to my office, and we'll try and sort everything out, alright?" he patted Lily's shoulder gently. "I'll see you later." Kingsley picked up James wand before leaving the room and stuck it in his robes. He was intending to bring James to the hospital to quickly heal the wounds, and then to the Ministry. He was slightly tempted to just let James bleed out, but he did have a conscience.

Lily knelt beside Severus as he sat up, trying to breath through his broken nose and spouting blood everywhere.

"Oh, God, are you okay?" Lily caressed his swollen face and he gave a grimace.

"I'm alright. But we need to get you fixed up, your shoulder..."

"Oh, Sev," she hugged him tightly to her chest. She wanted to hold him this way forever. He was her savior, the one who pulled her from Hell and brought her to Heaven. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Lily, I've always been here. You just didn't see it." Severus chuckled wetly, spraying blood on his shirt.

Lily wiped the blood from his lips with a slender thumb and smiled sadly. "I know. I regret that more then you can ever imagine. But now I know. You saved me. And I will always remember that."

"I love you, Lily, and I will always be here when you need me, no matter how small the thing might be, or how big."

Lily kissed Severus, sweet and deep, but she could not convey all the emotion she was feeling right now. The relief that James was finally gone was overwhelming. And now Severus was here, and they were together, and they were alive.

And then she remembered. Her heart sunk as she looked at Severus. She had to tell him about the baby. Would he leave her when he learned the truth? No, he wouldn't, he loved her too much.. didn't he?

"Severus. James...he..he.." her voice broke, too upset to continue.

Severus sat up, sensing something was wrong, and took Lily's hand in his own. "Lily what did he do to you?"

Lost for words, she gestured to her stomach. Severus frowned. Didn't she remember that he saw the words? "We can heal that, Lily. You don't have to live with it forever." he lifted her shirt up so he could inspect the scratches. After a few seconds, the words James Potter became etched into his brain, and he had to look away.

"No," Lily said quietly, and Severus looked at her.

"What?" Severus was confused; what was she saying no to?

Why was this so hard to do? Was it the humiliation, or the fear that he would leave her? "It's not that. Severus..I'm ..I'm pregnant."

Severus didn't reply; his brain was frozen, his mouth wouldn't work. He wanted it to, he wanted to talk to Lily. She was looking at him with an expression of...what was it? Fear?

"Oh, I knew you would be upset. Please don't leave, Sev," Lily cried, putting her face in her hands. She knew his reaction was normal, but she couldn't bear that shocked look on his face.

"Lily, I.."

"If you want to leave, go now, I don't blame you. I know you.."

"Lily! I'm not going to leave you." Severus gathered her in his arms, and she fell apart. "I will never leave you, no matter what. I'm afraid you're stuck with me forever. This is just one more battle we're going to have to fight Lily, but I'm not going anywhere."

Lily sobbed out Severus' name, holding onto him for support, grasping him like she would die if she let go. She loved him so much, words were just not enough. He was always there for her, when another man might have run away, he was there, beside her, and she knew he always would be.

"We should go," Severus pointed out. Kingsley had helped them so much, but it would be worth nothing if he was thrown in Azkaban. But now that they had Potter, the jury would have evidence, and he couldn't possibly be imprisoned, could he?

Severus scooped his wand up, Lily still clinging to him, and he picked her up in his arms. He would never let her go again. He would watch her from now on and protect her, even though Potter was going to prison. Lily didn't even notice him picking her up and heading out of that room, out of the house into the fresh air. She was too upset, and the only thing she knew that she was with Severus now, and she was safe. So she didn't have to know where she was, or where she was going, because as long as Severus was with her, she would be fine.

"Lily, I think we should go to the hospital. I think they would do a better job healing us then I would, and I don't want you exerting yourself." When Lily didn't reply, he took that as a yes, and kept a tight hold on her as he Apparated to Saint Mungo's. The other patients stared at them as they came into the waiting room, and the receptionist gave them a wide-eyed look.

"This woman needs medical attention immediately. She's lost a lot of blood." Severus said as he went up to the receptionist, pushing a woman with a teapot stuck to her head aside.

"I'd say you need attention, too, sir," the receptionist said, noticing the results of the fight between him and Potter.

"That's not important right now. Lily just needs to be taken care of."

"Alright, just bring her through that door," the receptionist pointed to a white door to her left, and Severus thanked her before going through it.

"Lily, we're at the hospital," Severus whispered in Lily's ear, but she didn't notice; she was still sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder.

Two Healers came toward them, wearing identical white outfits with the red Healer's emblem stitched into them. "Do you need help?"

"Yes, Lily, she's lost blood, if you could fix her up..." Severus said. Enough with the questions, wasn't it obvious that they needed help?

"Alright, we'll take her, and then somebody will be right here you to fix you up," one of Healers, whose name was Meredith, said a bit too cheerily for Severus' liking.

"Can I come with you? I promised her that I would stay with her." he was reluctant to let Lily go alone after what had just happened. Potter's abduction of her was still too fresh in his mind.

"If you must. Just follow us, then." The Healers led them to a small private healing room, and Meredith nodded to the small bed that was there. "Put her down, and we can get to work."

For a moment, Severus thought Lily wasn't going to let him go, but then she relented and fell onto the soft, clean bed sheet.

"Can you give her something so she calms down?" Severus said, worried about how hysterical Lily was.

"We'll take care of that, if you'll just stand back..." the other Healer, Angela, said and plumped up the pillows under Lily's head.

Severus watched as two Healers worked quickly, giving Lily potions and chanting healing charms over her. He heard their intake of breath as they removed her shirt and saw the words carved there. Meredith's brow creased as she waved her wand over the cuts and nothing happened. after a few more tries, she took a different route, and dabbed a potion on it, but it remained the same.

"He cursed it," Lily said. "It can't be removed." a tear dripped down her cheek, even though they had given her a Calming Drought. Severus felt anger boil inside him again. Damn Potter. Now Lily would be reminded of him every time she saw those ugly marks.

"Well, we'll see. They're not bleeding anymore right now, so we can try different things on them later." Angela said.

After a few more minutes, they had cleaned Lily up, and closed up her shoulder and cheeks. Meredith ran her wand over her to detect any thing else that was amiss, and a look of horror came over her face. She sat beside Lily and squeezed her hand tightly. "You were raped?"

Lily nodded slowly, avoiding Severus' eyes.

"What?" Severus yelped. "You didn't tell me that. When did he do it?"

"Severus, there's nothing you can do now. It's done." Lily said softly. She didn't want to tell him, because she knew it would upset him, and there could be nothing done about it now.

"I'll go and.." Severus slammed his fist against the wall, searching for something bad enough to do to Potter.

Lily sat up and looked pleadingly at Severus. "Please don't do anything. I don't want you to get in more trouble then you're already in."

Meredith cleared her throat. "Do you two want to be left alone? We can leave.."

"No, just finish healing Lily." Severus said, trying to control his anger.

"We're pretty much done here. Oh, Lily," Meredith glanced at Severus quickly before speaking quietly to Lily. "You do know you're pregnant, don't you?"

"Yes, I do." Lily snapped, not wanting to think about it at that moment. They would deal with it later.

"Alright." Meredith sensed the young woman didn't want to talk about it, and that was fine. She didn't know what happened here, but obviously there was some man that was abusing Lily, and this Severus had rescued her. He cared about her a great deal, as was indicated by the way he was looking at her with concerned eyes and the anger in his voice when he heard that she was raped. "Here are a few potions for you to take. They'll increase healing. And we'll check in on you later after you rested and see what we can do about your cuts, okay?" Meredith repaired Lily's shirt, and handed it to her, and she put it back on.

"I can't stay. We have to go." Lily stood, a little wobbly. "Your trial."

Severus' heart sank; he had almost forgotten. "Yes, I need to go. You can stay here, Lily, if you need to." He didn't want her passing out if she needed to rest.

"No." Lily said firmly. "I'm coming with you, and I'll stand by you." she touched his still swollen face. "But please let them heal you first, Sev."

Severus didn't really care about the pain that he was still feeling from the beating, but Lily's pleading eyes made him give in, and the two Healers led him over to the bed and started working on him while Lily stood by and watched him this time. Severus was relieved somewhat when they healed his nose and he could breathe normally again.

"Okay, you're good to go. And please, come back so we can help you remove those marks," Meredith looked sympathetically at Lily. "And good luck with your trial."

Lily grasped Severus' hand tightly as they left the room, and glanced up at him. His face looked much better, but now without all the swelling and blood to cover it, she could see the nervous expression on his face.

"Are you alright?" she asked softly as they made their way down the corridors and through the waiting room.

"I'm fine," Severus said trying to hide the fear in his voice, but not succeeding very well. Lily squeezed his hand tighter, but didn't say anything else. Severus kept a tight hold on Lily as they Apparated to the Ministry and arrived in the Atrium.

Severus led Lily to the lift, listening to people talk around him, but not really hearing them. They got off on the correct floor, and Severus headed straight for the Auror office. He looked sideways at Lily. She was doing better after they gave her the Calming Drought, but he was afraid she would become hysterical again as they got nearer to the fact that he might be going to jail. Kingsley met them at the door; he had been pacing the office, waiting for them.

"You two look better," he said, noticing their less bloody appearances. "I was able to get them to reschedule the trial. They're setting it up now. Potter is going to be tried with you, since it's a connected case. You'll be more likely to be let off now that he's here."

Severus nodded, his throat feeling too dry to talk.

"We could head down to the trial rooms now, if you want." Kingsley suggested, and didn't wait for a response. "Follow me."

Kingsley led them back to the lift, and they exited on the correct floor. It was a dark corridor, and there was an ominous air about it.

"There's a waiting room over there," Kingsley pointed to a door on the right side of the corridor. "We can wait there, it shouldn't be long."

As they passed another room, they could hear someone yelling inside."You bastards! I didn't do anything! The bitch deserved it! Let me out!"

Lily shivered. "Is that James?" she asked Kingsley, and he replied with a nod and a grimace.

"Yeah, we're keeping him locked up until the trial."

"Who's out there?" James screamed, obviously hearing their voices. "Let me out."

Lily noticed that Severus' muscles had tightened up, and she glanced at him; he was staring hard at the door with a tight-lipped expression. He was thinking of what Potter had done to Lily, how he took advantage of her, beaten her, hurt her.

He wanted to kill Potter, and it must have been evident by his expression, because Lily said, "Please don't, Sev. Leave it alone. He's gonna be thrown in Azkaban. That will be a greater punishment then dying."

"Come on," she dragged him after Kingsley, trying not to feel fear every time James yelled.

The hard wooden benches in the waiting room were uncomfortable, and probably were intended to be that way. Kingsley paced across the room while Lily sat with Severus. She didn't know if she would be in trouble for using an Unforgivable either, but what was the worst that could happen? All of three of them being thrown in Azkaban? As long as James was in a separate part of the prison, and she and Severus were relatively close, she might be able to survive with that.

A man suddenly entered the room, and cleared his throat importantly. "We're ready for you, you can follow me now."

Severus stood, and Kingsley gestured for them to hurry up. They followed the smug-looking messenger to another room in the corridor, and got a surprise when they entered. The room was huge, with benches that rose in tiers toward the high cathedral-like ceiling. Two high backed-chairs with clanking chains stood in the middle of the room, eager to hold prisoners. Kingsley gave Severus an apologetic glance before pointing to the nearest chair. Kingsley gripped Lily's arm softly to remind her that she had to let Severus go, and led her over to a smaller bench that was to the side of the circular, almost stadium-like room.

Lily stifled tears as Severus sat in the chair, and the chains snaked around his arms and legs, binding him to the chair. He didn't deserve this!

Severus felt very small and vulnerable somehow as he sat there, feeling the cold metal chains tightening around his body. He looked up at the stern faces of the jurors and started shaking uncontrollably. He could tell nothing from their expressions; he just wanted this to be over. He wanted to know what was going to happen, he couldn't wait anymore.

And then they brought Potter in, screaming and fighting against his two captors. They pushed him into the other chair, and the chains wrapped around him.

In the row closest to Severus and James sat the judge, Humphrey Andrews, head of the Wizengamot. He was an older man, with a short, dark grey goatee and a plump belly. He stood when everyone was seated, and the courtroom doors were closed.

"Are we ready to begin?" the other jurors all nodded in unison, shifting in their seats.

"The accused: Severus Snape and James Potter, in a connected case. Mr. Snape is accused of using the Killing Curse on a fellow wizard and claims it was in self defense. Said deceased wizard Sirius Black was acquainted with Mr. Potter. They are accused of using Dark Magic to control Miss Lily Evans and torture her, also using the Cruciartus curse. There is evidence that Mr. Potter used the Killing Curse to murder two elderly muggles that lived in the house next to Miss Evans." the court scribe read out from a sheet of parchment.

"Are there any witnesses they would like step up and defend either of the accused? Speak now." Judge Andrews said.

Lily leapt to her feet at once, and Kingsley joined her.

"I would like to defend Severus, and testify against James Potter."

"Very well. Please step up on the witness stand." Judge Andrews waved his wand, and an old battered stand appeared in front of the judge. Lily walked nervously up to it and stepped up. "And I presume you're Lily Evans."

"Yes."

"What is your relation to the accused?" the judge asked, watching the young woman.

"Severus is my fiance." Lily said quietly. She had to think about that for a minute, she had almost forgotten they wanted to get married with everything else that happened.

"And your relation to Mr. Potter?"

"He was my boyfriend. My ex-boyfriend." Lily emphasized firmly.

"And I was the better one. I showed you a better time then he did, didn't I?" James blurted out, unable to help himself. He needed everyone to know that he was the best, he especially bested Snape.

Severus' face twitched angrily, but he didn't reply. He didn't even look at the offensive man. He was afraid that if he did, he would say something that would jeopardize himself.

Lily ignored James, but she blushed and hung her head slightly at his words.

"Is it true that Mr. Snape killed Sirius Black?" the judge asked, wanting to get on with the trial. He had no patience for stupid remarks.

"In defense! Black was..he was doing things to me, and Severus tried to stop him, and.." Lily felt herself breaking down, and she began sobbing uncontrollably. All those people staring at her, James behind her, and Severus' life on the line...it was too much, it overwhelmed her at that moment.

Kingsley grasped her shoulder tightly to show he was there, and he silently begged her to calm down. This was Severus' chance to get off, and the judges had to believe that she was a capable witness.

Severus watched Lily crying and his heart sank. He should be standing next to her, comforting her. He rattled his chains restlessly, and James looked over at him and shot him a sneer.

Kingsley handed Lily a hankerchief, and she hurriedly wiped her face.

"Did Mr. Black and Mr. Potter use Dark Magic on you?" the judge asked after a minute.

"Yes. They used some old dark mind-controlling curse, and a binding potion. We were able to remove the curse, but the potion is still running through me. I can feel it. But it wasn't James. It was only Sirius. James was trying to help." Lily's eyes suddenly glazed over. "STOP!" she cried, and gripped the edges of the stand hard. She was fighting it through pure determination, but James still was able to put words in her mouth.

The judge looked confused. "What are you talking about, Miss Evans?"

"It's him!" Lily pointed at James. "He's making me...Severus killed Sirius, he wanted to, he wasn't protecting me, he was doing it for personal gain...you need to take James out!"

Severus shot a glance at James, who met his eyes. He gave him a look that said, "See? I always win. I'm better."

"You mean that potion in in effect now?" Judge Andrews asked, looking interested. "He's controlling you now?"

In response, Lily headed to James, her steps jerky as if she was fighting against her own body, and sat on his lap. She leaned forward and kissed him passionately, and then pulled herself away quickly, and fell to the floor, gagging with disgust.

Severus' face was white with fury, and James laughed. "See? This trial is for nothing. Poor Lily is just confused, after Snape killed her best friend, and Snape gave her a love potion. I'm the only one who's ever been there for her."

"You son of a bitch!" Severus screamed, unable to hold in his feelings anymore. "Leave her alone! Stop controlling her! It's over, everyone knows what you did, you can't defend it anymore!"

"Enough!" Judge Andrews said angrily. "Remove both of these men at once. Bring them to the holding room until we've finished with the witnesses. There is too much interruption."

A few wizards who were standing on the sidelines came down and tapped their wands on the chains so they fell off, and grabbed the two men and led them out.

"Severus!" Lily cried after him, and he looked back at her anxiously, but his gaze was cut short by the heavy wooden door closing between them.

"Now, what were you saying?" the judge addressed Lily.

"Severus is innocent! James needs to be locked away so he doesn't hurt anyone else." Lily said quickly. She was glad they had taken James away so she could speak freely, but did they have to take Severus, too?

"Do you have proof that this curse and potion that you claim Potter put on you exist?"

Lily glanced at Kingsley, who smiled and pulled a book out of his robes. "Page 274. You'll find the Binding potion, and the page that describes the curse in there as well."

He handed the book to another wizard standing nearby, who brought it to the judge. The judge flipped to the right page and was quiet for a minute while he studied it. "Very well. This does seem to describe with what just happened here. Now, how did all of this start? How did Mr. Snape know that you were in trouble?"

"Sirius and James went to his Potions Shop to get the ingredients they needed for the potion, and he heard them talking about controlling me. So he visited me, and I told him everything was okay, and to come back tomorrow. I was planning on breaking up with James, but then James and Sirius came over right after Severus left, and gave me that potion. They crucioed me so I would open my mouth." Lily felt herself losing it again at the memories flooded her mind, and she paused to take a deep breath so she wouldn't lose control. "James was going to make me marry him. Sev came back the next day, and he knew something was wrong, but James told me not to tell anyone, or he would hurt them. So I told Sev to leave, and I ran away. Sev went after me, but James and Sirius had already found me. They started fighting. They made me hurt Severus. But I broke free of his control, and Severus took my wand. James ran, but Severus fought Sirius, and then James. But Sirius attacked him from behind, and then he started groping me and kissing me and just..being himself. Severus warned him to stop, and when he didn't, Sev... Sev killed him."

The judge nodded slowly, taking Lily's story in, and letting her go on. This was a difficult decision.

"But Severus came to Kingsley and told him what happened." Lily said desperately. "He did the right thing."

"One could argue that point." Judge Andrews said. "Why didn't he come to the authorities before going after you?"

"There wasn't time!" Lily said desperately. Why couldn't they understand that Severus did what he thought as best?

"I heard there was another incident today, in which Mr. Potter was finally arrested." The judge raised his eyebrows.

"Yes, Potter had taken Lily when we left their house to come here, and Severus went after him." Kingsley said. "I caught up with him in Hogsmeade Village, where Potter had taken Lily to the local Shrieking Shack. He had tortured her before we got there. But I took Potter, arrested him and brought him here while Lily and Severus tended to their injuries before coming."

"And what injuries did you sustain?" the judge looked at Lily; she seemed perfectly fine right now.

"He stabbed me several times, and he did this." Lily lifted her shirt a few inches so that they could see the words 'Forever' carved into her. The judge gave a small intake of breath, and the jury started whispering amongst themselves. "They're cursed. They can't be removed. He also..he raped me before Severus could come." Lily felt that humility and defeat take over her again, and she reached out for Kingsley. She needed a sympathetic human touch right now.

"But Severus came, and fought with James, and saved me. And I love him for that. James is a pig, and deserves to die with the dementors in Azkaban. Severus is innocent."

The judge looked around at his jury. "Does anyone have any other questions for Miss Evans?"

The jurors shook their heads, and Judge Andrews waved his arm. "Very well, you may take your seats," he nodded to Kingsley and Lily. "Mr. Snape and Potter can be brought back in."

"Oh, Kingsley, it doesn't sound good," Lily whispered to the Auror as they took their seats.

He patted her hand. "Don't worry, it's not over yet. There's still a chance."

Lily nodded, but felt hopeless as she watched the door for Severus to be brought back in.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOo**

Severus glared at James Potter as they were thrown into the separate holding cells by their captors.

"I think she likes me better," James snickered, lounging on the cot in his cell. "Did you see the way she kissed me?"

"Shut up," Severus snarled, turning away from him.

"You should have heard her scream, Snivellus. It was like music. She loved it. She told me that you never did it with her. Are you afraid that you aren't as good as me? You know she's pregnant, right? By me, of course." James chewed a nail as he watched Severus shake with fury. "I gave her all the pleasure you can never give her."

"You raped her, you bastard!" Severus spun around, tight-lipped and white with fury. His eyes glowed with loathing as they landed on Potter.

"Oh, if that's what she says. But she was the one one who begged me to do it. And did you see my artwork, Snape? Beautiful, isn't it? James and Lily Forever..." James laughed. "I win, Snape. I got Lily in the end. I marked her. And she belongs to me forever."

No words could express what Severus was feeling at that moment. Why did they have to put them in the same room? Now he had to listen to these comments until they brought him back to the trial. He sat on his own cot, and put his head in his hands. If only he had gotten to Lily sooner...

"She tasted delicious, Snape. Her skin is just so wonderfully soft and supple, you know. It's just..ahh."

Severus knew it would make him look childish, but he put his hands over his ears anyway and closed his eyes. He did not want to listen to this. James shook his head and laughed at Severus' action, but he continued talking about Lily and what he did to her, how much she enjoyed it.

"Hey, let's go." One of the wizards banged on Severus' cell door after about ten more minutes. "They're ready for you again."

Severus and James were brought back in, and Lily noticed the strained look on Severus' face as he entered the room. What had James said to him?

They returned to their chained chairs, and when they were settled, the judge questioned Severus.

"Severus Snape, it is true that you killed Sirius Black?"

"Yes." Severus answered truthfully.

"And why didn't you use another spell? Maybe a stunning spell, perhaps?" Judge Andrews questioned.

"I just..I don't know. I wanted to protect Lily, and I saw that the only way to do that was if Black was gone forever."

"You mean murdering him was the only option that came to mind?"

"He was... defiling Lily and I wanted to stop him! I warned him, I told him to stop, but.." Severus spat, trying not to thin k about Black's filthy hands on Lily.

"You really think he was going to listen? Or did you just want an excuse to use an Unforgivable?" Judge Andrews raised his eyebrows.

"No, that's not the reason."

"Then why didn't you use a non lethal spell?" The judge asked again.

"You have no idea how I was feeling at that moment. What he was doing to Lily, what he and his friends did to me in school." Severus blurted out angrily. This man, sitting so high and mighty above him, would never understand the position he had been in, watching Lily being terrorized by Black.

"So you have a past together?" James chuckled at that and Judge Andrews shot him a look. "Could this possibly be about revenge, then?"

"No! He was hurting Lily, and I needed to stop him!" Severus cried out.

"Very well. You admit to Killing Sirius Black?"

"Yes, I said that already." Severus said, getting impatient now. Was the judge deaf?

"And you admit that you could have used a different spell, but in the heat of the moment, you made a rash and unwise decision?"

"Yes." Severus sighed as he answered.

"Very well." The judge addressed James. "Now Mr. Potter, do you plead guilty to the actions you are accused of?"

"As I said before, Lily's confused. I'm not to blame here." James said smugly.

"There are three people who are speaking against you. And there is evidence that you killed two innocent muggles. In addition to that, there are the matters of using Dark Magic, kid-napping, torture, rape, and using Unforgivables." Judge Andrews looked at James.

"Well, none of that is my fault. I was looking out for myself, and for Lily's best interests." James lied.

"Do you have evidence to support that? We have evidence against you." The judge held up the book, and James' mouth dropped open.

"Where did you get that?" he turned to Kingsley and Lily. "You went to my apartment? That's breaking and entering."

"A woman's life was in danger, and I'm an Auror. I have authority.." Kingsley said hotly, and James snorted.

"Authority. I'm a big bad Auror..oooohhh, I'm scared." James mocked.

"Enough." The judge slammed his hand on the banister in front of him. This man was really getting on his nerves. "Do you have evidence, or not?"

"Well, my word is my evidence." James said arrogantly. He shouldn't even be here. He was just trying to take back what was rightly his.

"I'm afraid that's not enough. May I see Potter's wand?" One of the wizard prison guards handed it over, and the judge touched the tip of his wand to it, and performed a reversal spell so they could tell what charms James had performed. It showed all the dark curses, the stunning spell he had used on Lily, the Killing Curses on the two muggles.

"I think that's enough evidence for me." The judge said somewhat decisively.

"What about Lily? She attacked me, used the Cruciartus on me." James said angrily. Why should that evil little whore get off free?

"Is this true?" The judge addressed Lily.

Lily slowly nodded. If Severus told the truth, so could she.

"When did you attack him?"

"When Severus came to rescue me, after James tortured me." Lily replied from her seat next to Kingsley.

"I think we're ready to rule," The judge turned to look at his jury. "Those in favor of clearing Lily Evans of all accusations?"

Most of the jury raised their hands, some shooting sympathetic glances at the young woman.

"Well, I think I will rule on that one. You were under extreme mental distress after this man tortured you and took advantage of you. You were not thinking straight, you were desperate. There was no lasting damage to Mr. Potter. So you're free to go. You suffered a traumatic experience, and you will be given help at St. Mungo's. You are cleared."

Lily stared at the judge. He dismissed her actions because he claimed she was under mental distress? What about Severus? He was under distress watching her be attacked by Sirius. Surely he would rule the same way for Sev?

"As for you, Mr. Potter. Those in favor of life imprisonment in Azkaban?" Everyone in the jury raised their hand, and the judge turned back to face James."You are sentenced to Azkaban for your disgusting actions. There is no excuse for what you have done, and now you must face the consequences of your actions.."

"What?" James howled in protest. "That's not fair! And Lily gets off! The bitch is crazy! SHE needs to be locked up, not me!"

"I have ruled. There is no arguing. Please remove him from this courtroom and ready him for the journey to Azkaban."

James howled again as two prison wizards brought him away. Lily felt a little bit of satisfaction seeing him get what he deserved, but she was still worried about Severus.

The judge was whispering to the wizards on either side of him with a frown on his face, and they passed on whatever he had told them to the other jurors. The jurors talked amongst themselves for a minute, and the judge said, "We'll take a vote." A little more the half the jury raised their hands, and the judge looked a bit disappointed before turning to Severus.

"I must admit, this is quite a difficult decision to make. Although we sympathize with the reasons why you used the curse, even though you should have used a different one, and you were trying to protect the one you loved, we cannot let it go unpunished. There for you will be receiving a short sentence. We must make an example. We do not wish to have people go around thinking they can use the Killing Curse and possibly get off. You are sentenced to three months in Azkaban."

The jury stood as the judge said, "Thank you for attending this trial. We believe all decisions were fair and just. They cannot be changed. You may go."

The jury started to leave, going through a separate door that stood by the fourth row of the benches. The two prison wizards un shackled Severus and hauled him up. He was as white as a ghost. Lily rushed to him, and threw her arms around him. How could they do this? How could they send Sev away?

"Oh, God, Sev. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"

Kingsley stood behind them, looking disappointed. But at least it was only three months. It could have been alot worse. He could have received a life sentence.

"Lily, I'll be back. It's only three months. Then I'll be back." Severus tore his arms out of the wizards' grip so he could hug Lily tightly, trying to convince himself as much as was her.

Lily started sobbing again, and Severus stroked her hair. "Please don't, Lily. I'll come back."

"Sir, we need to go." One of the wizards said, grabbing his arm again.

"Sev!" she kissed him hard, put all her love into that kiss, until he was pulled away from her. "Severus!" she cried as he was dragged away from her by the wizards.

"I love you, Lily. I always will. Always."

And those were the last words she heard him utter, and the last thing she saw was a lone tear dripping down his cheek, and splashing onto the ground. The doors swung shut behind them, and then Kingsley and Lily were alone in the quiet, empty courtroom.

Lily stood in shock for moment, her hands still out reached toward the door and to Severus. After a minute, when it finally sunk in that he was gone, she fell to the floor, her face in her hands, sobbing hear-wrenching sobs that tore at Kingsley's heart. He knelt beside her and embraced her, trying to offer words of comfort, the logic that Severus would be back, it was only three months, but she wouldn't hear any of it.

"Lily, let me bring you home, you can rest, be with your family..." Kingsley said softly, but there were only tears in reply.

Lily gripped Kingsley's robes tighter as it felt like her heart was breaking. Would Severus even be the same when he came back? She had heard things about Azkaban, what it does to people, how the dementors suck every good feeling out of you until you're not you anymore. She suddenly remembered a conversation that she and Sev had when they were children, lying on the cool forest floor in their secret clubhouse. It had been before they had gone to Hogwarts. She had asked Severus to tell her about the dementors again, because she was afraid if she used magic outside school, they would take her away. Severus had replied that the dementors are for people who do really bad stuff, and that she wouldn't go to Azkaban because she was too...and he had never finished that sentence. What was she, too good? And what about Severus? He wasn't a person who did bad things, and still they through him in with the dementors.

The pain in her heart started dropping lower, and becoming more intense, and she suddenly gasped and clutched her stomach. Waves of pain rolled through her body, and she pulled away from Kingsley and threw up on the floor.

"Lily, are you alright?" Kingsley asked her worriedly, and she shook her head, still clutching her stomach. She groaned and sat down hard, crying in pain now.

"Come on," Kingsley said, helping her up and supporting her. "I'm bringing you to the hospital."

Lily clutched Kingsley, holding on to him. In her mind, he was the only one that had been there for other then Severus, and she trusted him for that. He had tried to help them. Kingsley Apparated straight to St. Mungo's with Lily, wondering if she was having some kind of panic attack or something.

The same two Healers that had treated her earlier in the day took care of her again, and brought her to another healing room. Meredith looked suspiciously at Kingsley. "Who are you? Where's the other man, Severus?"

"I'm a friend."

The woman looked down at Lily, who had curled into a ball on the bed. Kingsley noticed spots of blood on the clean white sheet, and looked alarmed. "What's the matter with her?"

"She's having a miscarriage," Meredith said grimly, glancing at Angela.

"She's pregnant?" Kingsley said, surprised, and it was Lily who answered.

"James, the bastard. I'm about a month along. I just learned about it today."

"Is she going to be alright?"Kingsley, though he didn't realize it yet, had stepped up to the plate to take care of Lily now that Severus would be gone for a while. He had grown attached to the two in the short time that he knew them, and he felt responsible for Lily now.

"Can you please wait outside, sir?" Angela gave Kingsley a gentle push in the direction of the door. "We'll call you when we know."

Kingsley reluctantly obliged, and the Healer shut the door behind him. He paced back and forth, hoping, praying that Lily would be okay, because if she wasn't, and Severus got out, expecting to find her waiting for him, and she wasn't..he didn't even want to think about the pain Severus would be in.

Finally, after what seemed like forever to Kingsley, Meredith came out and gave Kingsley a sad smile and his heart dropped; what happened?

"I'm sorry, the baby is gone, but Lily is fine."

Kingsley breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't sure how Lily felt about the baby, but he was just glad she was okay.

"She's resting now, if you want to come see her later, that'll be fine." Meredith looked at him, hesitating before asking curiously, "What happened to Severus? I treated the two of them earlier and I heard that he was having a trial."

"He got sent to Azkaban for standing up for the one he loved." Kingsley replied and Meredith put a hand to her mouth. "Oh, poor Lily! She must be heartbroken!" Meredith wiped a tear away. "I'm sorry, I just get so attached to my patients. Sometimes it's not a good thing."

Kingsley knew exactly what she meant as he caught a glimpse of Lily when Meredith went back into the room. He already felt like Lily was a sister to him, and like Severus was a brother, and he felt horrible for everything that had happened. And the Ministry was supposed to be here to help and protect. How could something like this happen? And an innocent man was thrown in jail for killing a criminal. Kingsley swallowed, trying to ignore the burning lump in his throat. No, the world wasn't fair. Nothing ever was. But you had to deal with it, you couldn't linger over it and wonder what would have happened if you'd done something different. Because there was always going to be at least one 'if'.

Kingsley sighed as he walked away. Maybe once Severus got back, they could have a happy life, now that Potter and Black were gone. But he would watch out for Lily until then, and keep her safe.

**Oh, did I do okay? There's still more to come, don't worry.**

**I know James deserved to be killed, but at least Lily got some revenge on him! Teehee.**

**I didn't want to send Sev shouldn't to prison, but he shouldn't have used the Killing Curse. It's called Unforgivable for a reason. But I didn't want to send Lily, because they had to be apart for a while to strengthen their love. But at least Sev won't be gone long, so it's okay, right? Right? Please don't hate me.**

**And I just love Kingsley, I didn't really mean to write him so protective, but I'm glad it turned out like that, cause lily needs someone by her side right now while she waits for Severus to come home.**

**Also, about the miscarriage..I don't know if Lily and Sev would be the type of people who would kill an innocent kid, but I'm sure she wouldn't want to have that kid around, when it would remind her of James. She would go through so much pain everyday, because it would remind her of what James did to her. So I thought this was the best way. I hope it wasn't too fast after she just found out herself, but I wanted her to be with Kingsley, and after everything that happened to her, it was kinder to just get it over with quickly so she wouldn't have to worry about it.**

**Ok, I'm really rambling here. So just let me know what you think. Love you guys, love your reviews, keep 'um coming!**

**Dementors**


	23. Aftermath

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for reviewing: Raven's Dusk, visitor, flame55, Eawynne, I'm A Witch So Deal With It, Jinx Echo Iris II, Anotherboarduser, code R.R, and Saramagician**

**Chapter 23 "Aftermath"**

Lily sighed as she sat on the edge of her bed and rubbed her eyes with the edge of her quilt. The morning sunlight that leaked through the window annoyed her; it was full of promises of happiness and joy..but where was it for her?

Severus' missing presence was like torture to her soul, it weighed heavily upon her every day, and it felt she was slowly wasting away without him. It had only been two weeks so far since he was taken away, but she felt like it had been years.

More tears trickled over her pale cheeks and she wiped them away, too. She felt hollow inside; lost, defeated. Although they had won against James, she felt like a part of her was missing, the part that had gone with Severus to prison and wouldn't return until he came back. She wanted Severus to hold her, and she wanted to hold him. The thought of them being together finally, without fear of James gave her hope, but it disappeared when she realized she was alone right now.

The small clock on her bedside table beeped its wake-up call squeakily, pulling her forcefully from her depressing thoughts. She should get dressed, it was almost time for her to go to work. She had taken a full-time position at St. Mungo's, desperate to do anything to take her mind off Severus. As she went about her day, taking care of her patients, she focused on them completely, and didn't think about Sev at all. But when she got home, the longing for him almost doubled, sometimes making her feel so weak that she had to lie down, and she felt exhausted with depression.

Lily stood, pulled her nightshirt off, and reached for her white healer's attire, that was resting on the back of her desk chair. As she did so, she was careful not to glance at herself in the mirror. James' words were still carved into her skin; the healers had been unable to remove them at the hospital, and she avoided looking down at her stomach unless absolutely necessary. Every time she happened to glance at the now healed marks, she had vivid images of that day where James raped her.

When that horrible sneering face popped into her mind, she needed Severus more then ever, but instead she contented herself with wrapping her arms around herself and taking deep, steadying breaths, fighting to keep control.

Her hand brushed against one of the raised white scars as she pulled her uniform down, and she shuddered, remembering the weight of James upon her, whispering in her ear, telling her that she was pregnant. She quickly pulled her hand away from her stomach, not inclined to think about the baby. Along with the humility and shame of being raped, guilt weighed upon her because she was glad that the baby had died. Did that make her a bad person? She was glad that she didn't have to make a decision whether to keep it or not...it was like a blessing that it had happened the way it did, and she was grateful for it. After she learned that she had a miscarriage, a certain happiness overcame her, relieved at being rid of James' spawn. Then she felt instantly guilty; it was an innocent child. It wasn't the child's decision that its mother should be raped. But it was the child who paid the price. Lily contented herself with the reasoning that it wasn't meant to be, and that's why it didn't survive; her body just couldn't take it.

Lily took a deep breath, trying to clear her mind before going downstairs for breakfast. She had, of course, told her family everything that happened, even the most embarrassing, humiliating parts. They were unhappy about Severus going to prison, and livid at the things James had done to her. The only thing they didn't know about were the marks on her stomach. For some reason, she didn't want them to know about that; she had skimmed over that part of the story.

Lily looked at herself in the mirror, making sure her eyes weren't too red and her face was dry before going downstairs. As she came into the kitchen, her mother and father looked up at her with concerned eyes as they had every morning after the incident.

"Good morning, Lily. Are you alright?" Mrs. Evans asked, studying her daughter's face, taking in the weary, depressed look that was plastered over it.

"I'm fine," Lily responded quietly. "Just coffee for me this morning."

"Are you feeling sick?" Mrs. Evans shot a worried glance at her daughter, and Mr. Evans frowned behind his newspaper.

"No. I'm just late." Lily lied. The truth was, the sight of food had been nauseating to her lately. She knew she had lost weight due to her lack of appetite, but she didn't care. Her only thought was if Severus was getting enough to eat.

Mrs. Evans heard the tortured tone in her daughter's voice though, behind the lie, and put down her frying pan before enveloping Lily in her arms.

"Honey, if you need to talk, please I'm here for you."

Lily had told them what happened to her, but she had not really talked about it. When she got home on the day of Severus' trial, it was late, and Kingsley, who had accompanied her home from the hospital, was with her. She had told her family the straight up facts, with dry eyes, as Kingsley stood close next to her, almost as if there to support her. Then she went up to her room without another word, and Kingsley had left after promising the Evans that he would stop by in a few days. Since then, when Mrs. Evans prodded her, sure she needed to talk after all she'd been through; the rape, the miscarriage, Severus' trial, Lily would shake her head and walk away.

Lily breathed in the scent of her mother's perfume, letting it wash over her like a cloud of familiar safety. But she didn't want to talk to her mother; she wanted to talk to Severus. She quickly stepped out of her mother's crushing embrace before she started crying again. Losing control in front of her parents was not something that Lily wanted to do. They had to believe she was okay. Without realizing it, Lily was doing the very thing that got her into this mess in the first place; she was trying to take care of things by herself, not accepting anyone else's help.

"I don't need to talk. I'm fine." Lily said, feeling horrible at the look of hurt that crossed her mother's face. She knew her mother wanted to be there for her, and share her pain, but she didn't want to talk about it, she couldn't. Only with Severus could she relieve her feelings.

"Alright, honey. But when you feel like you need to talk..."

"I don't!" Lily cried out, fed up with her mother's nagging, although she knew she was only trying to help.

"Lily." her father stood, placing his paper on the table, alarmed at Lily's reaction to his wife's words. "We're here for you."

"I'm leaving." Lily could feel hot tears pressing against her lids, threatening to fall from her eyes. She had kept herself together pretty well in front of her family so far, and she wanted to continue that way. "I'm going to be late."

She turned on her heel and left the room before her parents could reply. She slammed the front door behind her, making the frame rattle. Fresh tears fell to the concrete as she spun on the spot, heading for the hospital. She had to focus on her work now, not Severus, not her parents, nothing. Just healing people.

The thought never crossed her mind that maybe she should work on healing herself as well, because she was tearing apart the people that loved her most in the world.


	24. Missing Sev

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for reviewing!**

**Chapter 24 "Missing Sev"**

Kingsley sat across Lily in her living room, clasping his hands together tightly. He didn't want to tell her his news, but she had to know. Lily watched him, her eyes dull and dark circles underneath them, making her look old and tired.

"Lily, I'm sorry, but we haven't been able to find an antidote to the potion. We tried everything, but I'm afraid there's no cure." Kingsley looked at the young woman apologetically, fearing that she would break down, but Lily just stared back at him, eyes clouded, and nodded. She let his words wash over her, taking it in, a dull throb of disappointment rising in her. She didn't know what it could mean; would she be able to marry Sev if the potion was still coursing through her blood? She wasn't sure. But that was if he even survived Azkaban. She would be bound to James forever, but he surely couldn't make her do anything while he was is prison, could he? It didn't seem to bother her as much as she thought it would; it seemed unimportant, just a little heart-breaking, but not end-of-the-world stuff.

"Lily," Kingsley grasped her hand gently, unnerved by the woman's lack of response. "We'll keep trying, I swear, but I don't think there's a cure. I'm sorry."

"Thank you for trying, anyway." Lily pulled her hand out of the Auror's grasp, even though it was comforting, and he looked at her sympathetically. His heart sank at the sight of the broken Lily; her eyes which usually sparkled were dull now, and her face, which had always been flushed in excitement when she was with Severus was pale as a dead man.

"Lily, are you okay? Do you need to talk? Because I'm here, if you need." Kingsley reached out a hand towards her again, but Lily's eyes flashed as she moved away, out of reach.

"I'm fine." she tried to keep her voice even. Why couldn't they all just leave her be, and let her deal by herself?

"Okay," Kingsley said quietly. He was extremely worried about Lily, but the worst thing he could do was push her. She knew that when she was ready, she would come to him. He just hoped it would be soon. The Auror stood to leave, sneaking another glance at Lily, hoping she would call him back and accept his offer to help, but she was looking the other way, away from him. He sighed softly, and left the room. He met her parents in the hallway.

"Lily is not well." he looked at the pair, sharing their concern for their daughter. "She's not living in this world. She has lost touch with reality."

"I keep trying to talk to her, and she won't have it," Mrs. Evans stifled a sob. "She changed so much so soon, it's unnerving. I don't know what to do."

Mr. Evans put an arm around his wife, trying to comfort her, but it looked like he needed comfort, too. Kingsley was surprised to see tears forming in the father's eyes.

Kingsley sighed, lost for an answer. "I'm not sure, either, but when she's ready, she'll talk. Just make sure you're there for her when she does. It might take a while, but I'm sure she will realize that she needs to let everything out. I'll stop by again soon. Good night." Kingsley nodded at the Evans, pulled his cloak over his head to protect him from the rain outside, and left the Evans' residence.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans peered into the living room where their daughter was still sitting, head in her hands now, and had no idea how to proceed. They supposed Kingsley was right, that they had to let Lily come to them. But it was so hard. They fought the urge to go to their daughter, knowing she would push them away again, and decided to listen to Kingsley's advice.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo 

That night, Lily lay awake, as she had been doing every night recently, and stared at the ceiling. The dark pressed against her pupils as she absently traced the scars carved into her chest, thinking about what Kingsley had told her. She would be bound to James for the rest of her life. It didn't matter if he was locked up or not, she would always feel him inside her, his potion inside her. She thought she could be free, but she couldn't. She would never be able to detach herself from the monster who made her life hell. But it wouldn't matter, as long as she had Severus, he would even it out. She could forget about James, if only Sev were here.

Lily reached under her pillow, and fingered the worn parchment that lied there. Severus' letters. She gripped them tightly in her hand, crumpling them slightly, and felt like she was going to die from loneliness. An overwhelming desire to be near Severus suddenly and painfully consumed her, and she sat up in the dark. She needed him right now. She had to go to him. But she didn't know where Azkaban was, or how to get there, and even if she did, she knew they didn't allow visitors.

Where else could she...the potion's shop. He said he had a little apartment over his shop, that he inherited when the previous owner passed on. She threw the blankets back and released her grip on the letters. Not even realizing she was still wearing her nightgown and bare feet, Lily grabbed her wand and spun on the spot in her room, her toes catching in the plush carpet.

When she opened her eyes again, she was in Diagon Alley, staring at the potion storefront. The street was dark and desolate, devoid of its usual hustle and bustle and laughter in the late hour, and made her spirits drop lower. Cold rain quickly dampened her hair and clothes as she whispered the spells to take the protective charms off the shop. The front door creaked opened as she pushed it, and she stepped inside onto the rough wooden floor, her feet protesting as several splinters pushed their way into her skin. Pungent smells filled her nose as she breathed deeply; herbs, dust, barrels of beetle eyes and newt tails.

Lily spotted the door that led to the back room right away, and was there in a flash, her wand held in front of her to light the way. It was a small, square room. There were boxes full of overflow supplies, clearly marked as to their contents, neatly stacked along the walls. At the back of the room a swirling staircase stood, leading up to the second floor.

Lily took the steps two at a time, stairs creaking under her weight, and excitement coursing through her for the first time in what felt like forever. The door at the top of the stairs literally beckoned to her, egging her on, to come turn the knob. So she did.

The room was dark, like the rest of the shop. Lily shot a spell at the ceiling so the lights popped on. It illuminated the small but neat room. There were three doors leading off of the main sitting area, which contained a couch, a muggle tv and radio, and a large bookshelf. Lily slid her hand across the books as she went past them, making a thin trail in the thick dust that had settled on them.

One of the doors led to a bathroom, and the other to a small kitchen. Lily pushed open the last one and found herself in Severus' bedroom. It was as neat as the rest of the apartment. The closet door was slightly ajar, and Lily could see black folds of fabric hanging there. She reached in, pulling one of the sets of robes off its hanger, and pressed it to her face, inhaling Severus' scent. She gripped the robes tightly to her chest, holding on to them like they were her lifeline, and slipped between the sheets of the neatly made bed.

As she sunk into the soft mattress, some relief came over her; she was surrounded by Severus. She hugged his robes tightly to her as she snuggled deeper under his covers, imagining him beside her, his comforting arms around her. But he wasn't here. She could feel her throat burning, tears pressing through her cold lids, and she let them come, drenching her face and washing away the rainwater, leaving salty streaks. The pillow soon became drenched and heavy with her tears. She could almost feel Severus' ghostly hand brushing against her cheek, telling her not to worry, that he was fine, and he wanted her to be fine.

But she could could never be fine, not after everything, not if he wasn't here. Sev was her stronghold during that time when she was trying to escape from James, he was the thing that made her keep trying. Without him, it wasn't worth anything, because without him, she would still be with James, getting tortured, beaten, and raped. It was Severus who had saved her, freed her, and he was imprisoned for it.

"Only three months, Lily." Severus phantom whisper resonated in her mind. The last things he said to her as he was trying to stay calm during his last moments with her.

But three months was a long time, when she needed him here now, to help her heal and forget. Could she do it without him? She had to detach herself from this memories, keep her eyes on the future, not the past. James, the miscarriage, the rape, it all had to go. She had to let it go. The thought of Severus locked in prison, terrified, surrounded by dementors couldn't consume her. She had to think about when he would be released, and come back to her.

She cried heartily into Severus' robes, heart heavy with sadness as she tried, and failed, to calm herself and forget.


	25. Moving Out

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for reviewing and favoriting!**

**Chapter 25 "Moving Out"**

Lily stood on her tiptoes until her fingers could reach the handle of her suitcase that rested on the top shelf of her closet. She pulled it down and placed it on her bed, running her hand over the tough green fabric. She remembered when her mother had gotten it for her for a trip they were going on years ago, smiling because she said it matched Lily's eyes. Lily glanced around her room and studied the surroundings; the neatly made bed, the night table with its hooting owl alarm clock, the jewelry and makeup scattered across the dresser, the open closet where her old Hogwarts robes hung, the picture of Severus tacked to the wall near the table.

She sighed, and zipped open the suitcase, its bare insides like a giant maw gaping at her and demanding her to fill it. Lily reached for the top dresser drawer to open it, but before she could there was a light knock on the door.

"Lily, dear?" Mrs. Evans called. "Are you awake?"

Lily shot a glance at the suitcase; she would have to tell them eventually, she couldn't exactly hide the fact that she was moving out..she might as well get it over with now.

"Come in," she replied, opening the dresser drawer and taking out a stack of blouses.

"I was making breakfast and I wanted to know if you wanted pancakes or eggs-" Mrs. Evans said cheerily, but the smile slid from her face and she stopped short when she saw the suitcase on the bed. "Where are you going?"

"I can't stay here anymore," Lily tapped her wand on the suitcase so that the interior magically enlarged itself, and dumped the blouses in.

"Of course you can! What do you mean?" Mrs Evans said, a definite note of panic in her voice.

"I'm moving. To Severus' apartment." Lily explained nonchalantly.

"Lily, please think about this," Mrs. Evans said, touching her daughter's shoulder. "Please, I think you should stay here, at least for now, until Severus gets back."

Lily continued throwing clothes into the suitcase. "I need to leave."

"No, you don't!" Mrs. Evans let out a wail, panic enveloping her now and she hugged her daughter close to her bosom. "Stay here, we can help you!"

"Mum," Lily gently pushed her mother away. "You don't understand."

"Then help me to. Please talk to me, tell me why you're doing this. I know you need to talk after everything that happened, Kingsley said to let you come to us, but I can't let you leave-"

"No! I don't want to talk about what happened!" Lily said hotly, then instantly regretted it after seeing the hurt look that quickly spread across her mother's face. Lily swallowed, trying to rid herself of the burning lump that was at the back of her throat. "I'm sorry."

"Lily, we just want to help you." Mrs. Evans reached out and squeezed Lily's arm lightly.

"If you want to help me, then let me go." Lily didn't want to explain to her mother how it made her feel being in Severus' home, she wouldn't understand. It had upset Lily, but it had given her a sense of comfort, a feeling that she was close to him, and that is what she needed now.

Mrs. Evans studied her daughter, obviously fighting some furious internal battle within herself. She sighed in a defeated way and her face contorted as she asked her next question. "Will it help you to move into Severus apartment?"

"Yes, it will."

Mrs. Evans gave her daughter a soft kiss on the forehead. If Lily refused to talk to them, and this was a way to help her forget and heal, then maybe it was the right way to go. "Then I'll help you pack."

She swept a few tubes of lipstick off the dresser and placed them carefully into the suitcase, not looking at Lily. Would her daughter accept her help?

Lily felt happy for the first time in weeks as she observed her mother. She loved her mother dearly, and she could see that her mother was very upset, but the fact that she was giving in to Lily, supporting her decision and treating her like an adult made her feel lighter and happier.

Lily joined her mother and silently continued packing, while the room became emptier and emptier.

"Do you want help unpacking at Severus' apartment?" Mrs. Evans asked softly, clearing the last of the items from the closet.

"Unpacking at Severus' apartment? What are you talking about?" Mr. Evans had just been passing by Lily's room and heard the snippet of their conversation through the open door.

"She's going to be moving into Severus' apartment above his shop." Mrs. Evans explained, and Mr. Evans quickly cut her short.

"You can't move there; you'll be alone. You're staying here with us."

"Dad, I can't," Lily said softly, willing herself not to cry. She knew she would if she kept talking. Leaving her home was harder then she thought it would be, but she knew it was the right decision.

"You will stay with us." Mr. Evans stepped into the room. He would not allow his daughter to go wandering off on her own when she was in this fragile state.

"I don't have to listen to you, I'm overage!" Lily said angrily, staring her father in the eye. Her father was not going to stop her from leaving. "This is my decision, not yours."

"You're not well right now, Lily." Mr. Evans struggled to keep his voice steady; the look Lily was giving him was unnerving. She had changed so much in these past few weeks. "You need people around to-"

"To remind me of how miserable I am? I see the way everyone looks at me, alright? Maybe that's part of the problem." Lily snapped. "Something terrible happened, yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm broken. I know I've been depressed lately, and wouldn't anyone? I'm trying to heal, but you're not helping. What will help right now is moving to Sev's apartment until he comes back. I just need him, he's the only one who can help me."

Mr. Evans face dropped significantly; even his mustache seemed to droop a little, and Lily felt terrible. She had the sudden urge to smack herself upside the head for the way she was acting towards the people who had raised her. She leapt up from her bed and lunged at her father, who took a step back in surprise, as if expecting an attack; but she simply looped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He smiled after the shock wore off and returned his daughter's hug, holding her protectively in his arms.

"I'll be fine, Daddy. Because you raised me, and I know right from wrong. You showed me what to do when I was in trouble, and I know that right now, this is what I have to do. It will help me." she gave him a light kiss on his stubbly cheek, and tears glistened in his brown eyes.

"I'm sorry, Lily. Sometimes I forget that you're not a little girl anymore, although you'll always be my little girl." He patted her cheek. "Are you sure this is what you need to do?"

"Yes." came Lily's trembling reply.

"Go on, then."

Lily's heart swelled with love for her father as she gripped her suitcase tightly. Her mother watched her with sad eyes, and Lily gave her a hug too.

"I'm sorry, Mum for yelling at you. I know you just want to help."

"Lily, dear, just be careful. And if you need anything at all, please tell us." Mrs. Evans wrung her hands together to stop herself from grabbing her daughter's arm and holding her back.

"I will."

Mr. Evans put an arm around his wife as Lily pulled her suitcase after her as she left her room. She knew her mother was going to start crying, but that was normal. She was moving out. It would have happened eventually, even under normal, happy circumstances.

"Lily?" Petunia poked her head out of her room. "You're leaving?"

"Yes." Lily looked at her sister through the crack in the door. Petunia studied her for a moment before opening the door wider and coming out into the hallway. She raised a hand as if to reach out to Lily, then lowered it again. Lily was disappointed; she had thought her sister would get over this wizards-are-freaks thing to show her some support. Just as Lily turned to go, Petunia wrapped her arms around her younger sister.

"Oh, Lily, I know I've been horrible, and I've caused us to grow apart, but I still love you!" Petunia wailed. "I don't want you to gooo!"

"I'll be fine," Lily grinned in spite of herself; was Petunia actually coming around?

"I'll miss you, Lily. You better come back and visit Mum and Dad!" Petunia said threateningly. "Especially since I'll probably be moving out too."

"What?" Lily looked at her sister, startled.

"Vernon asked me to marry him," Petunia said smugly. "And I said yes."

"You're serious?"

"Yes. He treats me well and respects me. I think we're made for each other, like you and Sev."

"Yes, but we can't be married." Lily said quietly, the subject touchy for her now. "We tried to get married, Kingsley was going to do the ceremony, but the potion James gave to me prevented it. So we can't."

Petunia looked thoughtful for a moment. "Was it a magic ceremony?"

"Yes," Lily wondered where this was going.

"Why don't you try getting married the normal way?"

Lily let her sister's words flow over her. Would that work? They would be bound together, just not magically, so James' potions couldn't prevent that, could it?

"When he gets back, that's the first thing we'll do." Lily smiled, happy that her sister was accepting that she was marrying, or wanted to marry, a wizard.

"Well don't you go elope. I'm expecting to be the maid of honor at a proper wedding." Petunia said. That certainly sounded more like Petunia!

"Maybe I can be the maid-of-honor at your wedding as well." Lily smiled at Petunia, suddenly feeling a bit shy. Maybe this was the start of a renewed sisterly love.

Lily hugged her sister again, and dragged her suitcase after her down the stairs. She pretended that she couldn't see Petunia wiping away a tear. Now that she had just apologized to her parents and made up with her sister, she had the urge to go back to her room and unpack everything again. But she knew that she had to leave; it just felt right.

When Lily stood in front of the potion shop it seemed to glow in the bright daylight as opposed to last night, where it hulked in the darkness. It beckoned to her like a source of comfort.

People milled through the Alley, walking around her as she stood looking at the shop, green suitcase in hand.

Lily pulled her wand out and performed the unlocking charms on the shop again. The suitcase's wheels made tracks in the dust upon the wooden floor inside, trailing behind her footprints. She re-locked the front door behind her before continuing on the same path she took last night.

As Lily entered Severus' neat apartment, she felt a sense of calm seep through her; she was with him again. The trail that she made with her fingers through the dust on the bookshelf the previous night caught her eye as she made her way to the bedroom; maybe she would do some cleaning while she was here. She heaved the suitcase on top of the quilt that lied in a rumpled heap on the bed; she had never made it when she left early that morning to go back to her own house.

Severus' robes were still there on the bed, and his closet still ajar, so she decided to start there. After carefully folding Severus' rumpled robes and placing them on the pillow, she began hanging her clothes in the closet next to his. She worked quickly, mingling her belongings in with his, and when she was done, she took a look around.

Her makeup sat on the dresser next to his pile of change, scraps of paper, extra quills, and other odds and ends. Her colorful clothes looked blinding next to his drab black robes, and she quickly closed the closet door on them. The pile of his letters sat on the beside table in their box, and the picture of Severus that had been on her wall was now tacked on his.

Lily felt a bit funny, moving in without Severus' permission, but she knew that he wouldn't mind; he would understand why she had done it.

Lily felt satisfied, and somewhat relaxed, as she sat on the bed and took the box of letters in her lap. She fingered the crinkled edges on the letters as she watched the Severus in the photo. It was an old picture of him when he was younger. Lily had taken it with his mother's camera, which produced moving photographs. He was laughing, dancing in the old leaves that covered the forest floor, as Lily snapped his picture. He flipped his hair back to look at her, and grin widely.

"Oh, Sev," Lily said quietly, touching the photograph. "I can't wait until you come home."

**Really sorry for the late update. I have been writing, but not posting, currently have several chapters written, just have to edit them. I'll be posting a chapter about Severus soon, too, so stay tuned. **

**Until next chapter, Dementors ;)**


	26. Week One

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for reviewing and favoriting!**

**Chapter 26 "Week One"**

Severus had tried to stay brave for Lily during his last moments with her, but the truth was that he was terrified out of his wits.

The last thing he saw was Lily's horrified face, stained with tears, before he was dragged away from her and out of the court room by the two guards. The guards brought him to another black door along the hall. They stopped in front of it, tapping it with their wands and uttering an incantation in unison. The door swung open, and the guards pulled Severus inside. It was dark and cold, and had a desperate feeling seeping through the air. The only thing in the room was an ornate black stone fireplace, carved with hooded reapers carrying scythes.

Severus almost lost it at that moment; he knew where that fireplace led, and he didn't want to go. No matter how brave he tried to be for Lily, he was truly terrified inside.

One of the guards tapped his wand on the fireplace, and a black fire sprang up. He took a pinch of Floo powder from a little iron canister on the mantle and threw it into the fire. The fire grew larger, and seemed to hiss in excitement.

"Off you go," The guards pushed Severus towards the fire. "You're lucky that you're only getting three months. That's something to keep you going, huh? Don't go crazy now."

The guards gave him another hard push, and Severus tumbled into the fire. It was so cold, it seemed to burn his skin, and he began shivering immediately, from fear as well as the cold. There was no spinning as in a regular Floo. It was more like Apparating; he was simply in that room with the guards, and now he was in another room. It was bare as well,except for a lone torch that was burning on the wall, sending flickering light across the gloomy grey stone walls. There was not even another fireplace here; Severus guessed because it was a one-way trip to Azkaban. There was no escape.

A large iron door with rust dotting its hinges stood in front of Severus and he watched it fearfully, sure something unpleasant was bound to come through it soon. Within a minute, his suspicions were confirmed as he heard a key clicking in the lock on the other side of the door. He had to remind himself to breathe; he had been holding his breath in fearful anticipation.

The door creaked slowly open, and Severus felt a cold envelop him. It seeped into him and every good thought disappeared from his mind; he even momentarily forgot about Lily.

The torch on the wall suddenly went out, leaving the room in pitch blackness. Severus backed up until he hit the wall; he sensed something coming towards him in the darkness.

A hand with skeletal like fingers suddenly curled around his right forearm, gripping him tight. Severus screamed, trying to tug his arm away, but the hand gripped him tighter, and soon it was joined by other hands, all gripping him tight. The suffocating hands of the dementors {at least, that's what he guessed they were} grasped his arms, his shoulders, and then his legs and lifted him off the ground. He writhed in their grip, screaming, and a hand clasped itself over his mouth. The flesh that was left on the hand smelt sour and decayed, and Severus fought the urge to throw up. He felt himself blacking out; the cold was chilling his bones, the smell of the hand was churning his stomach, the hands were squeezing him tightly, and then, he passed out, mind frantically scurrying to bring him to a better place.

When Severus woke, he began his first day in Azkaban. He was lying on a cot in a small cell, and it creaked beneath him as he sat up. The sheets underneath him were stained with spots that looked suspiciously like blood, and they were thin and thread-bare. The pillow had lost its fluff long ago; it was barely thicker then the sheets.

Severus stood, shivering; it was horribly cold in the cell. Wind whistled threw cracks in the stone walls, and rainwater puddled in the corners. Severus jumped as he heard a small scuffling noise, but it was only a mouse that ran along the wall and crawled into another crack. There was not even a toilet here; instead there was a pile of moldy hay that represented the restroom.

Severus walked slowly toward the front of his cell and wrapped his hands around the thick iron bars of the cell door. Screams and cries met his ears, and he quickly covered them to try to block the sound as he took in the surroundings. As far as he could tell, he was on the fourth level of the prison; he could see the rows and rows of cells stacked on top of each other on the opposite side of the cylindrical fortress. A metal walkway passed in front of his cell, and went all the way around the fourth level.

There were countless hands reaching out of the cell bars, crying out for food, water, freedom, and in some cases, death. When Severus had his fill of the horrifying sight, he backed up and sat back on his cot, heart thumping in fear. Would he be screaming like that in a few weeks? Would he become mad too?

Severus curled up on his cot and wrapped the sparse blanket around himself, but it didn't do anything to stifle the cold that chilled his bones. He pressed himself harder into the corner, shivering so hard his teeth began to chatter.

The screams suddenly quieted a bit as a more intense cold suddenly came over him, entering his every molecule and extracting the happiness from him. He knew what was causing the cold, and he closed his eyes as the dementor continued past his cell. Severus couldn't see the creature now, but he could still hear its rattling breath, and smell its rotting scabby flesh, a sour smell that stayed in his nostrils long after the creature left.

Severus tried to think of Lily; he imagined holding her and running his hand through her red locks, so he wouldn't have to think about the dementor that just passed by. He sat like that for hours, pressed into the corner with his eyes closed and his hands over his ears to block the piercing screams; the sound of madness.

_Was killing Sirius Black really worth this?_ Severus thought. _Wouldn't it have just been better to let the authorities deal with Sirius Black, so it would have been Black sitting here instead of him?_

Severus' first day in Azkaban was horrible, but he quickly learned that it didn't get better the longer he stayed. It got worse. The dementors constantly drained you, there was never enough food and what he was given was rotten and disgusting, and it was always freezing. Severus spent most of his days trying to stay warm. He used Lily as his stronghold; whenever he felt himself getting pulled into the pit of depression and hopelessness, he used an image of her to pull himself out. That's how he got through his first week in Azkaban.

On the last day of that first week, Severus used a rock to scratch a line in the wall above his bed where it joined the six others he had carved there. He had gotten the idea from the other lines that prisoners before him had scratched out in his cell, counting down their time in the prison. He was relieved that he had gotten through the first week, but his heart sunk as he realized there were eleven more weeks to go. He sighed and sat back on the bunk, staring up at the lines with blank eyes.

**FAST UPDATE!**

**There you go! Finally a chapter with Severus! There will also be more of Potter in a future chapter as well. ;)**

**Hope you enjoyed this chappie, let me know as always.**

**See you later, Dementors :P**


	27. Week Two

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for reviewing and favoriting!**

**Chapter 27 "Week Two"**

A rattling noise caused Severus to jerk awake; a metal pan of food clattered to the floor, thrown there by the hooded dementor that delivered his food. The creature seemed to lean toward Severus for a moment, filling the air with the sound of its noisy breathing, and Severus fought his instincts to run, because there was no where to run to. Sure the cell door was open, but that's where the dementor was standing. And if he did get out, where would he go?

The dementor glided toward him until it was only a few feet away and reached out with a hand that looked like it belonged to a dead man. Severus found his eyes drawn to that hand, usually the only part of the dementors that he saw. Sometimes he was unlucky enough to get a glimpse of a wide, gaping hole under the dementors' hoods when they shifted, and he would have to turn away. He supposed that was their version of a mouth.

Severus continued staring at the hand, frozen in a kind of terrified fascination. The hand was tinged with green and purple, its veins full and plump although no blood ran through them, and there were sores that oozed a disgusting yellow pus.

After a moment, the dementor suddenly drew back quickly and exited, the cell door slamming shut behind it.

Severus slumped against the wall, his trance broken. His body relaxed a bit now that the creature was gone, but not much. He waited another minute to make sure the dementor wouldn't be back before lunging at the food tray. He was starving. They were only fed twice a day, and it was meager pickings.

There was a cup of water, alot of which had been spilt when the tray had been dumped unceremoniously on the ground, a pile of rotten vegetables, and some bread which was so hard Severus had to soak it in the water before he could chew it. He made his way quickly through the bread and water and his stomach howled in hunger, wanting more. Sometimes it was worse after he had a little bit to eat; it made him hungry for more. Some days he would save his first meal and combine it with his second so there would be more.

Severus began downing the vegetables, ignoring the sickly-sweet, fermenting taste until he felt something wriggling in his mouth. He stopped chewing and spit his mouthful onto the tray. He really didn't want to see what was in that mouthful, but he examined the contents anyway. Slimy white maggots wriggled inside the piece of rotten tomato that had been in his mouth, standing out among the red of the tomato, and his stomach churned.

Severus quickly pushed the tray away, and willed himself not to throw up and lose the little food he already had consumed. But the image of the maggots remained in his mind, and he rushed to the grimy hay pile/toilet in the opposite corner to empty the pitiful contents of his stomach. He crawled back to his cot, feeling weak and took up his usual posture, snuggling in the corner to stay warm.

Severus suddenly felt a new wave of cold that didn't come from the dementors; this time it was natural. He could hear the raindrops splashing upon the cold concrete outside his cell and the wind whistling through the cracks in his cell as a storm passed over the prison. There was no roof on the prison, it was basically just a hollow cylinder. There were several floors of cells resting on top of each other, so the cells themselves had roofs, but the rain still ran in making the scraggly blankets grow damp and chilly.

Severus tried to grasp at the image of Lily again, but he found he couldn't picture her as he had earlier that day. His heart started beating quickly in panic. Why couldn't he remember her? She had red hair, right? And green eyes? But why couldn't he pull up a mental image of her?

Before he could stop himself, he felt tears forcing themselves out, and running down his cold, pale cheeks. He felt ashamed; he was a grown man, weeping into his blanket. But he found that he was not alone. He could hear the Others crying louder them him, screaming in anguish. Screams full of pleas to be released, to let their imprisonment end. But unlike him, most of them were here for life. A twinge of pity ran through him for the Others, and he had to remind himself that they were Death Eaters and murderers. But wasn't he a murderer now too?

Severus heard a shrill animal-like cry that scared him and made him leap to his feet; it was full of fear, desperation. As he looked around to see where it had come from, realization hit him; the sound had escaped from his lips.

How much longer could he do this before he went mad? If he went crazy, where would the dementors take him? Or would they leave him until he died in this cold cell? Severus stuffed the filthy blanket in his mouth so he couldn't scream anymore, and squeezed his eyes shut, trying and failing again to conjure an image of Lily.

**There will be other characters entering the story later on:Dumbledore, Remus and *hint* other Order members. **** Lily will experience firsthand the destruction that the Death Eaters cause. Stay tuned, fellow readers, and I'll see you next chapter! {Most likley it'll be a LIly chapter}**

**Dementors ;)**


	28. The Hospital

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for reviewing and favoriting!**

**Just a chappie with a little of Lily's day at St. Mungo's**

**Chapter 28 "The Hospital"**

"Morning!" Lily greeted her fellow Healer, Adrienna, cheerfully as she entered the little St. Mungo's break room.

Adrienna was just finishing her coffee, and looked up. She was an older woman with wild brown hair and big blue eyes. She had taken Lily under her wing, watching after her and giving her tips on Healing and Lily thought of her as a second mother. She patted Lily on the shoulder and replied,"Morning dear. Sorry I can't stop to chat, but you know, places to be and work to do. But I'll see you later, yeah?" she smiled at Lily before leaving the room.

Lily went over to the coat rack and threw her coat over it. She looked at herself in the little mirror that hung on the wall and straightened her hair and her uniform. Her face looked a bit pinched and weary this morning, but a lot less so then usual. Lily had been doing well lately since she moved into Severus' apartment; she felt close to him even though he was still so far away, and even her parents mentioned that she looked better when she last visited them. She had a bit of a relapse last night however, when she woke up in a frantic sweat after a nightmare. She couldn't remember much when she woke up, but she knew it involved James coming after her and Severus being Kissed by the dementors. There was no sleep to be had for her after that, so she was hoping for a slow day today so she could go home and take a nap.

"Healer Evans to the waiting room!" the magic intercom suddenly boomed and Lily jumped. Was it really going to be one of those crazy days? She took a deep breath to compose herself before leaving the little break room; she would just have to muddle through.

"Healer Evans to the waiting room!" the intercom screeched again, and Lily muttered, "I'm coming!" as she shut the break room door behind her and hurried down the pristine white corridor.

Usually Healers stuck to one floor, specializing in one type of healing. But Lily had been an apprentice Healer not that long ago and was still deciding on what she was going to specialize in, so she went wherever she was needed. And that meant running up from floor to floor, responding to emergency calls. Sometimes she wished that she could decide on a path, because it would be so much less stressful then running around the hospital, but there were so many types of healing to choose from it was proving difficult.

"Lily," Edith, the receptionist, greeted Lily with a roll of her eyes. "Can you please take care of these young men? I'm not sure where to send them."

Lily looked to where Edith's finger was pointing, and crinkled her nose in disgust. The three young men in question were vomiting uncontrollably, holding onto each other for support, and the other patients were giving them a wide berth.

"Please come with me," Lily said, careful not to get too close lest she get covered in vomit, and led them through the doors to the hospital. She brought them to the nearest examining room, and conjured three bins that the young men could use while she tried to figure out what exactly was wrong with them.

Lily waved her wand, chanting a useful spell that the Healers used to help stem bleeding and other bodily functions, hoping it would work on this. She observed the men interestedly, waiting to see the results. The spell didn't stop the vomiting completely; now the men went through spurts where the vomit stopped flowing for a few minutes before starting up again. At least it was something to start with so she could talk to them.

"What are your names?" Lily asked gently.

"I'm Tom," the blonde man said, "And this is Aaron and Morgan," Tom gestured to the heavyset man and the tall, be-speckled man next to him.

"Is this an illness?" Lily questioned, avoiding a puddle of vomit as she stepped forward to place her hand on Tom's forehead to check if he had a fever as Morgan started vomiting again.

"No, we're not sick, we were-" Tom ducked his head into his bucket, and Aaron finished his sentence.

"We were kind of experimenting with spells, and something happened. One of the spells backfired, and we all started vomiting."

Lily frowned."Why were you experimenting with spells?"

Aaron shrugged, although he looked ashamed. "Well, I don't know. We were just messing around, you know?"

"No, I don't know, I'm not that stupid." was what Lily wanted to say, but she didn't. Instead she rubbed her temples and asked, "Alright, do you even know what spell it was?"

Aaron shook his head, and then bent over his bucket.

"Okay, I'm going to try some different counter curses to try and end this spell." Before Lily started, she vanished the contents from the buckets so they wouldn't overflow, and whatever mess was on the floor so she could concentrate without worrying that she was going to step in vomit. She began reciting counter curses she learned from a case she had been working on the fourth floor, Spell Damage.

After trying everything she knew and nothing taking effect, Lily started getting frustrated. Should she direct them to a more experienced Healer? There was one more thing she wanted to try..it was so obvious, but it might work. If it didn't, then another Healer would have to give it a try.

"Finite Incantatem." Lily waved her wand over all three men. The vomiting ceased immediately, and the men's faces were pale and strained.

"Did you try Finite Incantatem?" Lily asked them, sweeping her wand over floor again so the buckets and all remnants of vomit vanished, leaving the room spotless.

"No," Morgan said hoarsely.

"Well, next time, and I hope there will not be a next time because you three learned your lesson, you should try that first." Lily said curtly. She had just wasted forty five minutes when the answer was so simple. She was not happy. "Please go up to the front, I'm sure they'll have paperwork for you to fill out now that you are able to. Have a good day."

She pulled the door open and was about to leave when Tom placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you," he said gratefully. "I know we were bloody idiots, and I can tell you we will not be playing around with spells anytime soon."

Lily gave them a grudging smile. As long as they learned their lesson, then that time had not been wasted after all. "I hope you're telling the truth."

"Sure." Tom said easily. "Hey, you know, how about I take you out for dinner tonight to properly thank you-"

Lily gaped at him for a minute before regaining the use of her voice.

"No!" Lily said quickly, and shrugged Tom's hand from her shoulder. "I am engaged to Severus Snape, and I will not go prancing around with some idiot who can't even think to use a simple Finite Incantatem to fix himself."

"Wow, calm down." Tom put his hands up in a gesture of surrender while his friends sniggered behind their hands. "And you didn't think of that either!"

But Lily didn't hear him, because she had already slammed the door behind her. She was shaking; how dare he ask her to dinner! When he was covered in vomit, and standing there like an idiot!

"Healer Evans, fourth floor!"

Lily huffed as she strode quickly down the hall heading for the fourth floor.

Lily eyed the man, trying very hard not to laugh at his situation. It was rather funny, though, and a few giggles escaped her before she could put on her serious 'Healer face'.

"I can't get out! And I'm claustrophobic!" the man wailed. He had somehow gotten his head magically stuck in a sweater and couldn't get it off.

"Alright, let me see." Lily tried a Engorging charm on the sweater, a slicing charm to cut through the material, and even a disappearing spell, but none of them worked. Lily pondered the flailing patient, tapping her finger on the side of her face in concentration for a moment before she thought of an idea. She slipped her wand hand under the sweater so that the tip of her wand touched the man's face, and performed a shrinking charm. With that, she was able to pull the sweater off as the man's head shrunk. Lily let the sweater fall to the floor as the man cried out in relief. Lily shuddered as she glanced at the man's shrunken face, which looked severely creepy on his normal sized body.

Lily quickly tapped the top of his head again and said, "Engorgio." so his head returned to its normal size.

"Oh, thank you!" the man cried, falling to his knees and raising his hands to the sky as if in prayer, breathing in the lint-free air. "Oh, the light! It's beautiful!"

"Evans! Third floor!" the intercom cried out, and Lily sighed. Would there be a break for her today?

"How can I help you?" Lily said to the man and woman who were wringing their hands outside a closed exam room.

"It's our daughter. I gave her a potion this morning to help relieve her cold, nd it must have been tainted, because she..she's a.." the woman broke down, unable to continue. The man just shook his head in horror as he hugged his wife and pointed towards the room.

Lily pushed open the door, hesitating for a moment before she did so. She almost slipped on a clear slime that coated the floor, and when she looked up to examine the patient, she almost screamed. Now she knew why the parents were so upset. Their daughter's face was not that of a little girl anymore, but that of a slug. The thick antennae dripped slime onto the floor as they waved through the air, and Lily leaped out of the way before they could touch her. She examined the girl as well as she could while still keeping her distance; slugs had always given her the creeps. The girl's body, although human, seemed to be covered in a thick-slime like coating, like that of a slug. Lily shuddered before turning to the girl's parents.

"Do you have the potion you gave her?" Lily asked.

"Yes, I brought it," the woman rummaged through her purse and pulled out a half empty vial.

"The potions department will have to analyze this and break it down to determine what exactly changed your daughter. She can stay overnight in one of the rooms, and we can get her fixed up tomorrow," Lily said as the girl oozed her way across the floor.

"You can't do anything now?" the woman cried in exasperation, watching her daughter slide around on the floor.

"No, we have to brew an antidote to that potion first," Lily replied. "If you go two doors down on the right, there'll be another Healer that can get your daughter settled, and we can start working on the potion."

A few tears dripped silently down the woman's face and she put a hand over her mouth to stifle her sobs. Lily conjured a hankerchief for her to use and patted her hand to comfort her. "Don't worry, she'll be fine."

The woman nodded, and her husband took the daughter's hand, gripping it tightly so she couldn't slip away and led her out of the room.

Lily rubbed her eyes wearily; this day just seemed to be going on forever.

"Healer Evans! Second floor!" the intercom called, and Lily rushed to see what was the matter this time.

Finally, the never-ending day did end, after getting called to different floors nonstop for eight hours, and here she was back at Severus' apartment. She suddenly had the urge to see Severus and tell him about her day; she thought he would like the story about the vomiting men. But he wasn't here. She sighed, and let herself fall onto the bed, her weary body thanking her as it sunk into the deep blankets; how good it felt to lay down and get off her feet! She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, at the spiderweb cracks running across it.

Lily desperately wanted to just go to sleep, but there was something else she had to do first. She glanced into the corner of the room, where a pile of dusty rags sat. She shrugged out of her white uniform, laying it over a chair for tomorrow and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt that she was sure was Sev's before scooping up a rag and heading downstairs.

Every night after Lily got back from work, she would go downstairs and dust and clean the shop. She wanted to maintain it until Severus came home so it wouldn't be a mess and he wouldn't have to anything for it to be and running again. She had dusted and reorganized two whole racks of herbs yesterday. She was cleaning using good old muggle ways, no magic allowed, and it helped her to focus, acting like a therapy. Being in the dark, quiet shop and focusing on re-organizing the ingredients relaxed her, and she tried to do it every night, even when she was tired.

Lily was cleaning in no specific pattern, so when the insect shelf seemed to beckon to her, she went over to it and began removing the jars full of dried camel crickets, termite eggs, cockroach wings and other repulsive items. She ran the rag along the shelf, removing the dust that had settled there, and thought about Severus. His dark hair, his soft lips, his gentle touch. She knew she was healing from James' torture, and especially now since more then half of Sev's sentence was up, and he would be coming home soon to help her even more. She still longed for Severus with all her heart, but she knew he would be okay now; she couldn't explain how she knew, but she knew he would come back to her alive.

A loud knock suddenly jolted her out of her thoughts, and she spun around quickly, wand in hand.

"Lumos," Lily muttered, and the halo of light that burst from the tip of her wand illuminated the figure in front of the shop. It was a black-robed man pounding on the shop window, someone Lily didn't recognize, and she tensed warily.

"Please, are you open? I just need some ram's horn-" the man's voice was muffled through the thick glass of the shop window, but still clear enough for Lily to tell what he was saying.

"I'm sorry, we're closed." Lily said loudly, staying in her current position and hoping the would-be consumer could hear her.

She had thought about re-opening the shop, but it just didn't feel right without Severus. It was his shop and right now it was dark and closed because he wasn't here, but when he came back, it would be bright and busy again. It just felt wrong for it to be open when he wasn't here.

"Please, I need it for my wife, she's pregnant, and she needs a swelling reducer for her ankles-" the man pleaded, and banged on the window again.

Lily shook her head furiously. There was no way she was letting the man in when she was alone. Who knows what he might try and do to her? He was probably lying just so he could get in.

"Jeffrey!" A very pregnant witch suddenly appeared, Apparating next to her husband. "I told you this shop was closed! Why don't you ever listen to me?"

"Dear, you should be resting."

"Well, I knew you wouldn't get the ingredients we need." the witch snapped moodily.

"Please, Daphne, don't start." Jeffrey sighed wearily.

Lily watched the couple's banter as her wand remained poised in front of her. Should she let them in? It did seem like the genuine truth, although one could never be completely sure.

"And you're harassing this young woman," Daphne gestured to Lily through the glass. "I told you they were closed."

Lily made her decision, lowering her wand and stepping closer to the door.

"Ma'am, if you really need the ingredients, I could let you in," Lily called tentatively through the glass.

"Would you, dear?" Daphne looked relieved as she rubbed her swollen stomach. "That would be so helpful."

Lily shot an unlocking charm at the door and pulled it open. Daphne and her husband entered looking grateful.

"Just pick out what you need and I'll ring you up." Lily said, shoving her wand into the baggy pocket of her sweatpants, where it could still be easily reached if she needed it.

She listened as they argued about how much ram's horn they needed, and how many dried toad tongues and smiled. They reminded her of her parents; arguing but underneath loving each other every second.

Jeffrey dumped the items that they needed unceremoniously on the counter, looking extremely worn out as his wife continued talking about how long it would take to brew the potion. Lily bagged the items as she rang them up, and the register called out, "Seven galleons and five sickles please," in a squeaky voice. Jeffrey handed over the coins and grabbed the bag.

"Come on," he grabbed his wife's hand gently.

"Thank you, dear," Daphne patted Lily's hand gratefully. "I appreciate you helping me. I'm so far along, and anything that relieves the swelling is helpful."

Lily nodded, and looked toward the insect shelf. She really wanted to just finish and go to bed; she hoped Daphne wouldn't start up a lengthy conversation.

"Oh, the baby just kicked!" Daphne laughed. "I think he likes you! Would you like to feel him?" Daphne tugged Lily's hand toward her protruding belly, but Lily suddenly ripped it out of her grasp. "No!"

"Are you okay, honey?" Daphne said, examining her closely. "It's just the baby,"

"Please go," Lily said, her heart beating rapidly. She didn't want to feel the baby, she didn't want to think about babies.

Daphne began to open her mouth, and Lily just shook her head and pointed to the door. The couple hurriedly left, looking confused, and Lily waved her wand to lock the door behind them. Why did that small action trigger such a reaction? Maybe because it reminded her how her own child had died? She brushed her hand over her stomach lightly and bit her lip hard. "No, Lily, keep it together. Don't think about it." Lily mumbled to herself. It was an innocent child. It didn't deserve to die, it didn't need to know James was its father. She and Severus could have raised it as their own-

"Stop!" Lily cried, grasping her hair, and her voice rang out through the silent shop. Lily pressed her palms against her eyes to stop the tears. No, she would not break down. Not now when she was doing so well. She grabbed up the dust rag and resumed her duties of cleaning and getting ready for Severus to come home.

**I know I'm really focusing on just Lily and Severus, but I promise, other characters will come in soon! Yay! More Kingsley soon too.**


	29. Week Five

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for reviewing and favoriting!**

**Chapter 29 "Week Five"**

"No! Don't let them take me! PLEASE!" a man was being dragged past Severus' cell, the two dementors that flanked him gripping him tightly with rotting hands. Severus looked up from his corner and met the man's desperate eyes as he passed. Severus had to give him credit; usually when prisoners were dragged past him, they were too tired and depressed to fight anymore, but this man clearly had the strength to fight. He didn't have the under-fed pallid look of the other residents here; it was obvious he was a new arrival.

"They're gonna Kiss me! Help me! They're gonna take my soulll!" the man wailed as he was dragged away. Severus was too much concerned with his own wellbeing to care much for the man, but he felt pity course through him as the man's yells changed from desperate to terrified beyond belief. He knew the man must have done something terrible to be sentenced to a Dementor's Kiss, but he didn't feel like anyone deserved that punishment. The creatures would suck your soul out through your mouth, leaving your body an empty shell. Severus could think of no crime fitting that punishment; it would kinder to use Avada Kedavra.

Even though the man was being dragged towards the room on the other end on the prison, which Severus had dubbed the Kissing Chamber, it seemed like his screams were getting louder. Then it was cut short abruptly, and Severus knew the man had been taken into the Chamber. That was it for him; within a moment, only his body would be left, sucked dry of its soul.

Severus had had the terrible luck of witnessing a Kissing first-hand last week.

_It was a situation similar to today, a victim being dragged away to be Kissed. He could hear the man's screams further down the aisle, and then suddenly a shout of triumph. He got up from his cot, curious to see what was happening, and saw the man running, having escaped from his dementor captives. But he tripped and slid, landing right in front of Severus' cell. He had fallen at a strange angle, and his leg was bent underneath him. Severus noticed a blood spot on his pant leg, growing larger by the moment. The man groaned and lifted the fabric up, revealing a sharp shard of bone poking out from his skin. Blood trickled from the wound and the man groaned in pain. The man looked desperately behind him, then up at Severus, who was staring at the man in horror._

_"Help me, please," tears trickled from the man's eyes, making trails in the grime on his face. "Save me." He reached out a hand toward Severus, but Severus shied away. What was he supposed to do? The man's face dropped at Severus' reaction, and he lowered his hand, knowing it was hopeless._

_Severus stared helplessly at the man as the dementors swooped upon him and lowered their hoods. Severus' eyes were glued to the horrible sight in front of him; it felt impossible to look away, just as one finds it hard not to gawk at the scene of an accident. He had never seen a Dementor's face and had never wanted to, but he was seeing it now._

_There were no eyes, just empty gaping sockets and a grey scabby skin that stretched over the creature's entire head.A large gaping hole, which Severus supposed was the dementor's mouth, sucked in the air around it, creating a horrible, terrifying noise._

_The first dementor leaned down, plastering its mouth over the victim's face, completely covering his mouth and nose. All Severus could see were the wide, frightened eyes, popping out in fear. The man flailed for a moment, before becoming limp as the dementor began to breathe in heavily. It stopped after a moment, and glided backwards to let its partner finish the job. Severus saw a faint blue light rising from the victim's open mouth as he lay on the floor, but before too much of it escaped, the second dementor swooped upon him, grasping the victims head and forcing its face upon his. When the dementor finished, it released the man, and his head thunked to the floor with a sickening cracking sound. the imprint of the dementors' mouth was left on the victim's face, and Severus hurried back to his cot so he wouldn't have to look at that gruesome sight anymore._

_The dementors proceeded to haul the body away, dragging it along, and Severus closed his eyes, feeling sick._

Severus shuddered, and tried not to think about that anymore. It was bad enough seeing the dementors everyday, he didn't need to relive the moment when he saw their faces, too. Seeing the victims being dragged past was bad enough, too. It seemed to him that the dementors went out of their way to bring victims past his cage, but he knew it probably wasn't true. He just happened to be so unlucky as to be on the path to the Kissing Chamber.

Severus felt the restless tension that always followed a Kissing; the dementors who hadn't been able to feed were hungry with no souls to appease them. They almost oozed a...it was hard to describe but the best word he could think of was... fury, a cold fury that they hadn't been able to have some soul too. It was the worst when the dementors were like that. They were more terrifying somehow, and Severus was always afraid that one would lose it and come and take his soul. He knew they wouldn't send his body back to Lily, they never sent the bodies back.

Severus had wondered what they did with the soulless bodies, or the bodies of the people who went completely mad and died, and over the weeks he had been here, he thought he came up with an answer. He could hear the howls during the full moon, and he knew there were werewolves being kept somewhere in Azkaban. He had a terrible feeling that those bodies were being gotten rid of in a messy way; they were being fed to the werewolves during the full moon.

Severus shuddered and tried not to imagine his own body being ripped to shreds by a werewolf; his blood dripping from its mouth, strips of his flesh hanging from its teeth.

He felt that overwhelming feeling coming over him; his mind was becoming hazy, he wanted it to end, why couldn't he just die before the dementors got him...then Severus bit his knuckles so hard that he left teeth marks that welled with drops of blood. He must stay sane, because he was going to get out soon, there was a woman, what was her name? Lilah? Lillith? Something like that. And she loved him, and they were going to be together. She was waiting for him. That was right, wasn't it? Lilah loved him, and she was going to be with him when he got out. Wasn't she?

**Was it intense? I hope it was! I am so bad, torturing Severus like this! *grins evilly* but he'll be back with Lily soon!**

**Love, Dementors**


	30. The Dream

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for reviewing: Saint Snape, Althea27, visitors, Sakura Lisel, hummingpetal, bianca, ujemaima, Eawynne**

**Chapter 30 "The Dream"**

"No!" Lily screamed, and her eyes popped open in the darkness. She reached out ahead of her to make sure there was nothing in her path so she could continue running when she realized it had just been a dream. Just a terrible dream. But one based on true events. She slumped back against the pillows in Severus' bed.

The hospital had been getting alot patients lately as a result of all the Death Eater attacks. It was always horrible to see these poor people, sometimes their bodies a mangled mess from the onslaught of different curses used on them, sometimes babbling incoherently about the horrors they had seen. And alot of the patients were muggles, whose homes and families were destroyed by Voldemort's followers.

But today, there was a patient that practically tore out her heart; it was a young boy who had been tortured with the Cruciartus Curse, and who knows what else. There were several deep lacerations all over his body, and he was crying out for his parents. He was brought in alone, along with a bunch of other victims by a group of aurors who had been at the scene of the attack to clean up the mess left behind.

Lily had been called over to help with the sudden onslaught of patients needing immediate attention. She reached out a hand to comfort the boy, and directed the aurors to a room to bring him to. But it was too late. She felt the child's hand grow limp in her own in that short moment, and looked down to see his face still glistening with tears and bright red blood. A look of fear was etched across his face, and Lily almost broke down right there; almost huddled in a corner in a fetal position and never wanting to come out. But then another Healer called her, and she knew it was no time to be weak. There were other people that needed help. It was too late for the boy, but not for the others. She rushed over to help her fellow Healer staunch the blood that was pouring out of a muggle man's chest wound, taking a few deep breaths to steady herself before diving in.

Apparently, that moment had stayed with her. She had been having nightmares about those poor people, but none as vivid as the one that had just woken her from her slumber. She tried to put it out of her mind, but it replayed again...

_The little boy from the hospital was lying on the pavement. It was dark and cold, and all she could see was the boy, his hand outstretched for help. Tears wet his cheeks as he cried, joining the blood trickling from the corner of his mouth._

_"Take my hand." Lily said, reaching out. She would haul him up, wrap him in her arms and take him away from this terrible dark place. Just as her fingers brushed the boy's, a figure stepped out of the dense shadows and pointed his wand at the child._

_"Avada kedavra" the figure screamed, and Lily stumbled backward, blinded for a minute by the intense green light of the spell._

_She blinked rapidly, trying to get her eyesight back, and a chilling cackle filled her ears. The next thing she saw was the boy's body on the ground, limp as a rag doll, his mouth wide in an expression of horror. The man laughed again, and his red eyes glowed like burning embers._

_Lily heart pounded in fear, and she turned and tried to run, but she couldn't because there was a tightening grip on her shoulder._

_"Don't be upset." the man whispered in her ear. "It was a mudblood. It deserved to die. And you will be next."_

_Lily screamed and ripped away, running for her life. She looked behind her, and the man was laughing insanely, standing over the child's body, which began to instantly decay. His face seemed to melt as it decomposed, the flesh falling off, tiny maggots wriggling inside his eye holes. Lily faced straight again, too sick to gaze upon the boy anymore, and ran into the darkness._

Lily knew who the man had been, and his cackling laugh had followed her out of the dream and caused goose bumps to rise on her arms. The smell of the boy's rotting body filled her nose, and she took a deep breath so she wouldn't throw up on the bed.

Without realizing it, she reached over to the opposite side of the bed, searching for another human's warmth for comfort, but her fingertips only brushed cold sheets.

She choked back tears as she squeezed a pillow to her chest, pretending it was her sister, her mother, Severus, but those red eyes and the boy's dead face pierced through her mind and she stayed awake for the rest of the night.

I** know, short chapter. I'll try to get another up today or tomorrow, but it might not happen, cause life gets in the way.**


	31. Kingsley's Advice

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Chapter 31 "Kingsley's Advice"**

Kingsley glanced around the bustling St. Mungo's hospital until his eyes landed on the person he was looking for.

"Lily?" Kingsley tapped the white-clad healer on the shoulder as she rushed past, and she turned.

"Kingsley!" a smile crossed Lily's face as her eyes landed on him.

Kingsley smiled back, pleased at her appearance. Lily looked better since he had last seen her, which unfortunately was a few weeks ago. He had stopped by her parent's house this morning, wanting to pay her a visit since he had an extra minute this morning, and they told him she had moved to Severus' apartment. When he heard that, he was a bit alarmed about her being on her own, but it seemed clear that that simple action had changed the world for Lily.

"How are you? I heard you moved out."

"I feel better, Kingsley. A lot better." Lily smiled at him again, and Kingsley patted her shoulder; it was nice seeing her normal, well almost normal. He could tell the smile was not a facade, a way of holding off concerned questions, but real. But there was still something beneath it, a deep loneliness and longing.

"I'm sorry how I acted towards you when we last talked, I know you were just trying to help," Lily looked away suddenly, slightly ashamed. "I still don't want to talk, but I'm alright. Is that why you haven't been by? Were you upset with me?"

"No." Kingsley said quickly. He would never leave Lily alone like that. He understood why she acted the way she did, and he didn't blame her for it. "I've just been busy."

"Anyway, I'm fine because Sev will be back soon!" Lily reached into her pocket, pulled out a small date book and and opened it to the current month. The current day and all the days before it were crossed out with a purple X, and the day Severus was supposed to be released was circled four or five times in red ink. "See? Three more weeks!"

"I'm sorry I haven't been by lately, Lily. I've been really busy with the recent outbreak of Death Eater attacks. There's just so much to do. I wanted to come see you, but I wasn't able to get away." Kingsley face darkened as he spoke about the Death Eaters, and Lily put a hand worriedly on his shoulder.

"Are you alright?"

Kingsley glanced at Lily's face, tight with concern, and felt a sudden wave of love for her. He put an arm around her shoulder.

"Yeah. There's so much death and carnage out there, for muggles and wizards alike, and it's horrible to see. You never get used to it. But at least there's one living example to show our efforts pay off." He smiled at her and she blushed.

"I'm getting there, Kingsley. Slowly but surely. And I couldn't have done it without you. Without your help, Sev probably would have gone to prison forever."

Kingsley nodded slowly. "Maybe, maybe not. I just wish he had come to us sooner so he wouldn't have to be in prison at all."

"Well, he didn't. That's Sev. But at least he'll be back soon. Hopefully he'll be okay." Lily looked troubled for a moment, but recovered quickly, although her smile was dimmer then before. "I'm actually leaving now, do you want to come over for dinner? Do you have time?" Lily's eyes pierced the auror, and he couldn't say no.

"Alright, but I can't stay long, I have to get back. There will probably be some other attack we'll have to sort out."

Lily grabbed his hand before waving goodbye to a passing colleague and heading outside towards the Apparation area, glad she could do something for Kingsley for once, even if it was just making him a simple dinner.

**MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM**

Kingsley tapped his fingers on the wooden kitchen table as Lily prepared dinner. It was hard for him to relax these days. Lily glanced around at the tapping noise and frowned. She didn't want to keep him if he needed to leave, but she wanted him to have a break.

"Do you need to go?" she questioned as she waved her wand so two plates flew out of the cupboard toward her.

"No, not yet." Kingsley pulled his hand from the table and put it in his lap so his fingers would stop their ceaseless tapping. "I can hardly relax anymore, what with being woken up in the middle of the night to hear news that a town of muggles just got slaughtered, or something of that sort. It's horrible."

Lily placed a plate of steak and potatoes in front of Kingsley before sitting down. "Yes, we get patients in that have suffered at the hands of the Death Eaters and Voldemort. There was a little boy last week..he died. It was too late. I almost couldn't-" Lily took a deep breath, the memory overwhelming her. Kingsley reached over and grasped her hand tightly, reassuring her and she gave him a strained smile.

"I've seen the same, children slaughtered and tortured while their parents watch, unable to help. It's never easy. Think about your own parents, watching a man take advantage of their daughter, torturing her, almost killing her and not being able to help, even afterwards." Kingsley decided to bring up a touchy subject for Lily. She needed to address her problems before it became too much. "They were very upset that you wouldn't confide in them."

Lily looked away. "I couldn't. I didn't want to talk to them."

"And that's what got you into this mess, Lily. You need to let people help you... otherwise, if you keep everything bottled inside it'll eat you alive like acid. You have to get it out and let other people help. Even if you think it would be best not to get them involved, it's the opposite. You're hurting them by not letting them help." Kingsley pushed.

"I'm fine now, I'm over it, and Sev will be come back soon." Lily stabbed a potato with her fork and pushed it around her plate.

"But it's not just Severus, is it? Everything that happened with James, you just pushed that away? Or do you still think about it?" Kingsley caught her eyes with his, and they betrayed her verbal protests that she was fine. They had a grey haunted look full of fear when he mentioned James.

"Kingsley, please don't-" Lily stood up and tried to walk away, but Kingsley shot a hand out and grabbed her wrist.

"No, Lily. I know you're still upset, I can tell. I don't want you losing it one day, and disappearing." Kingsley said, not loosening his grip, even with Lily tugging insistently. "You are better then when I last saw you, but I'm still worried, Lily. I don't want you to suffer by yourself."

"I won't run away! I won't loose control!" Lily protested, giving a hard tug that finally made Kingsley release her.

"Like you didn't run away when Severus was trying to help you? When you gave up and went to James? Like you tried to run away right now while I was talking to you?"

Lily sat back down and sighed, knowing she was fighting a losing battle, and put her head in her hands.

"I was just trying to protect-" she mumbled half-heartedly, but Kingsley cut her short.

"Yeah, and do you see what happened? You almost died, Severus is in prison, and your parents are distraught. How do you think Severus would feel if he came back, and you weren't here? He would be lost without you, and you him. Look at you now! You're living through each day, longing to be back with him. But all I'm saying is that it might all be too much, and you might break again. I don't want that to happen. I want to help." Kingsley said, desperation in his voice. "Please. I'm not trying to be mean or force you to do anything, I just love you and I want you to be okay."

Lily pressed her palms against her eyes, watching white spots pop in the blackness. It was her current method of avoiding tears, but this time it wasn't working.

"I don't know what to say." Lily choked out, her throat burning with the effort of holding back the tears.

"Say anything that you're thinking about. Tell me anything you want to let out." Kingsley said gently, pulling Lily's hands away from her eyes.

Lily spoke without thinking, saying the first words that were on the tip of her tongue. "The words carved in me..whenever I see them, I see his face, clearly, and it haunts me, and I'm afraid he'll be there when I turn around, that he's going to take me away forever."

"Lily," Kingsley stood, and wrapped his arms around the sobbing woman, trying to comfort her. She pressed her face into his robes, still seated.

"Severus is all alone in Azkaban. Will he be the same when he comes back? Or will he be different? I will love him no matter what happens, but I am afraid of what Azkaban did to him." Lily's voice was barely audible through the tears and Kingsley's robes.

"Lily, as long as he has you to help him heal, I think he'll be fine." Kingsley reassured her.

"But what if he's not? And it will be all my fault!"

"You made a mistake, but everyone does. You learn from your mistakes, and you fix them when you can. Severus does not blame you. I think he blames himself." Kingsley said, patting Lily's back softly.

"Why would he blame himself?" Lily pulled away from Kingsley and looked up at him questioningly.

Kingsley touched her cheek lightly, wiping off some tears before answering. "Because if he had gotten to you before James had asked you out, none of this would have happened. He could have protected you from all of it."

"But I could have said no to James, too."

Kingsley sighed lightly. "I'm just showing you how people view the situation, Lily. The blame could be placed on both you and Severus, but it is nobody's fault. It happened, and now you have to fix it. You both need to heal, and who better to do it then each other?"

"Oh, Kingsley," Lily started, but was unable to continue, and she pressed her face back into Kingsley, desperate for his comforting warmth.

Kingsley stroked her hair gently as she sobbed. "Do you feel better, talking about what's bothering you? Is it helping?"

Lily nodded into his chest, wrapping her arms around him tightly.

Kingsley smiled, even though she couldn't see. "I told you, Lily, you just need to let people-" a burst of light suddenly appeared in the room. As it dimmed a bit, he could see the shape of a python Patronus. It opened its mouth, and hissed in an echoing voice, "Kingsley, you're needed."

"Lily, I have to go," Kingsley quickly let go of Lily and stepped towards the python light, which was coiling in circles, waiting for him.

"Kingsley, do you have to?" Lily's hands were still gripped tightly in his robes.

"You know I do," he said, and gently pried her hands off his robes. "But I'll be back. I will. We can continue this then, alright? I'll be here for you Lily, always. I will help you."

He smiled and patted her cheek gently before moving to touch the light with the tip of his wand. There was a flash, and when Lily next looked up he was gone, along with the Patronus.

Lily stared blankly at the plates on the table, which were still mostly full, then back to the spot where Kingsley disappeared. She did feel better; she had missed having Severus to talk to, and it was nice to have Kingsley there. But now she also felt worse, because that void of loneliness had suddenly grown when Kingsley had gone. She took three deep breaths, and wiped her tear-stained face with her napkin.

Kingsley said he would be back, so he would, but she didn't know when. Lily couldn't just sit here and wait for him to come back. She picked up the two plates with shaking hands to bring them to the kitchen counter, and dropped one of them. It crashed to the floor, and shards of plate and pieces of food scattered across the clean tiles. She closed her eyes for a minute, trying to calm herself. It was okay, it was fine, she would just clean it up. She placed the other plate on the counter and waved her wand so that the debris on the floor swirled up in a tornado-like shape and made its way to the trash can.

What should she do now? Clean some more downstairs? But a sudden tiredness fell over her as she thought about lugging heavy barrels full of ingredients across the floor, and she flicked off the kitchen light and made her way to the bedroom.

Lily didn't even notice that she was still wearing her uniform as she slipped between the covers and snuggled in. She sighed, pressing her face into pillow. It had lost most of Severus' scent by now, but she still hadn't washed the sheets or bedding, because she knew he had touched it. She felt a closeness when she touched something that he touched. It relaxed her somehow.

She stroked the pile of Severus' robes that she kept folded up on the other side of the bed, and felt herself drifting off. She wanted to sleep and not think about anything, but she couldn't help realizing a bubble of fear had risen inside of her; not for Severus this time, but for Kingsley. She hoped he would be alright,wherever he was going. Those Death Eaters were scary and dangerous people, and she saw firsthand the result of their torture and destruction.

_James could have been a Death Eater_, Lily thought sleepily. He was certainly evil enough.

Her fingers grew slack in Severus' robes as her muscles relaxed and she drifted off, and the last thing on her mind was the danger Kingsley was in.

**Yay! Kingsley's back! Please review! Can't wait to update! **

**-Dementors**


	32. Week Eight

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Chapter 32 "Week Eight"**

Severus knelt on the hard floor in front of his cell door, crying out, reaching his hands out for his tray, his hunger overwhelming his fear of the dementors. The tray was thrust into his grasping hands, and he pulled the food from it frantically and stuffed in into his mouth greedily, ignoring the crunching sound that indicated that he just ate a cockroach. So what? It was protein, something to fill his aching stomach.

The dementor's cold passed over him, but Severus held on to the only thing that kept him sane, the thing that the dementors couldn't take away from him: he was going to be released. It would only be four more weeks, and then he would be out. He found himself longing for the sunlight and the rush of fresh air on his skin. And there was someone waiting for him; he couldn't remember her name, but he was sure she would be there.

Severus stuffed the last of the hard bread into his mouth, and then licked the crumbs away, savoring every last bit. He made sure there was not a speck of food left on the tray before dropping it to the ground and crawling slowly back to his bed, the burst of energy and eagerness at the sight of the food gone now. He pulled himself up, and heaved himself against the wall, hating how weak he felt.

Severus had lost quite a bit of weight; even though he didn't have a mirror, he knew he was like a skeleton. Now he ran his hand over his cheek, feeling his cheekbones, touched his stomach and felt his ribs sticking out even through the fabric of his thin prison clothes. He pulled his now stick-like legs underneath him and shivered; it was even harder to stay warm now that he had less body weight. Severus feared that he would get sick and be fed to the werewolves, and that thought haunted him even in his dreams.

**I know, really short..but it's an update!**


	33. Dead

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Bad things are about to happen!**

**Chapter 33 "Dead"**

Lily glanced into the hospital waiting room, looking for Kingsley. She was expecting him to come by, after he hadn't come back last night or this morning. But there was still no sign of him.

"Lily!" Healer Prentis, Lily's superior, huffed coming up behind Lily."There's been another Death Eater attack, we need you."

"Where are the patients?" Lily let her eyes roam around the surroundings, but didn't see any patients that looked like they had just been in an attack.

"They're not here," Healer Prentis replied. "We couldn't move them from the scene, they're weren't strong enough to be removed by apparating, or anything of the sort. We have to go to them."

"Alright." Lily nodded nervously. She had never gone off premises to do Healing before.

"The other Healers are heading out to the Apparation area," the elder healer said, pointing to a group of solemn-faced healers heading in the opposite direction, leaden down with bags full of medical supplies. "Just follow them and I'll see you later!"

Healer Prentis bustled away to tend to other business, and Lily hurried after the other healers. They locked hands, and the group Apparated together to the scene of the attack.

When they arrived, Lily thought for a minute they Apparated into a nightmare. Lily stood frozen to the spot as she surveyed the damage. She had never seen anything like it. It had been a small muggle neighborhood. The houses on either side of the street they arrived on were charred hulls, still smoking as members from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement worked to put them out. Debris littered the street and lawns of the houses: broken glass, furniture from the houses, and bits of brick and wood from the houses' structures.

And then there were the bodies. They were lying haphazardly whenever she looked, limbs bent at odd angles and blank eyes staring. Most were muggles, but she could also see the dark robes of Death Eaters and Aurors thrown into the mix.

"Come on," a fellow Healer motioned to her, breaking her trance, as they began spreading out, searching for survivors. The employees from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement had began separating the bodies, the live from the dead, and there was a group of people groaning in agony and most of the Healers went over to begin to treat them.

Lily bent beside a nearby form on the ground, checking for a pulse. When she found none, she marked a red X on the ground next to him to show he was gone, mimicking what the other Healers were doing. The Healers worked their way down the street, marking the living from the dead. Other Healers worked to quick levitate the living over to the makeshift healing area and treating them before it was too late.

Lily was marking bodies for nearly an hour, going up and down the different streets in the neighborhood, and her hands and uniform were becoming stained with blood as she examined the bodies. A few times she thought she would need to leave, that she really couldn't do this. The dead faces of the people swirled through her mind and were joined by others as she turned over more bodies. Most were dead, but when she did find a live one, her heart leapt in relief and she gestured to one of the Levitators over to retrieve them. She was relieved when she saw that there were only two more streets to go. This nightmare would be over soon. Then they would bring the patients back to the hospital and further treat them for their injuries.

She spotted another body face down on the pavement, and kneeled beside it. It was a man, big and tall, and it took all her strength to turn him over. When she took in his face, she fell back and he heart almost stopped in shock.

"No," she whispered, glancing away up at the sky, and then back again, hoping that it wasn't who she thought it was. But her eyes didn't deceive her; they told her the truth.

"Kingsley," she said softly, feeling tears prickling at her eyes. She reached out slowly, reluctant for some reason to touch him, and felt for a pulse. There was no steady beat of blood through his veins; her fingers only met with cold flesh.

"Oh, God. This can't happen." Kingsley's dark brown eyes stared lifelessly up at the sky, his mouth open slightly as if he had just been about to launch a curse from his wand, which was still curled tightly in his hand. Lily gasped in a shuddering breath, and tears fell from her eyes onto his cold face.

"No, You can't be dead! Wake up, please! Enervate!" she pressed the tip of her wand to his chest, but nothing happened. "Please, enervate!"

Kingsley continued to lay there, looking like a lifeless rag doll. Lily through her wand to the ground and put her face in her hands. She didn't know how long she sat there, she had no sense of the time that passed, but she felt a hand under her arm roughly hauling her up.

She looked up, dazed, and saw it was another Healer who was marking bodies.

"What are you doing? He's dead." the Healer said, releasing Lily's arm now that she was standing. "Move on."

"He's my friend," Lily leaned down to place a hand on his ice cold cheek.

"But he's dead," the healer said harshly. "Leave him. There are others who need tending to."

When Lily didn't move from Kingsley's side, the healer picked her wand up and shoved it back into her hand, giving her a little push away from the body.

"You can take care of him later," the other Healer said, and moved on.

Lily stood, trying to regain her composure. It felt like there was an anchor on top of her chest; she could hardly breathe. Kingsley was dead. But the others needed her. She looked down the body-littered street, eyes glazed over. He couldn't be dead, she argued with herself. But in her heart she knew he was.

She couldn't bear to put a red X next to his body, so she left him how he was. As she continued down the street, she glanced back at the place where he lay, and tried to keep herself together; this was not the time to be weak. She pulled her eyes away from Kingsley and forced herself not to look at him again.

It took them another hour to get the rest of the wounded to the healing area. Most of the patients were resting comfortably now, and the healers were working on the last few. Lily avoided looking at the growing pile of dead bodies as she walked past it; tried not to see the limp limbs flopping down, heads lolling at strange angles, blood drenched clothes, singed skin.

When all the patients were taken care of, she went back to the place where Kingsley was and kneeled beside him again.

"Oh, Kingsley," she gently slid his eyelids down, to cover the glistening brown orbs. "How could you die?"

She cradled him in her arms, the man who tried to help her and Severus. And now he was dead. He promised he was going to come back and talk to her, and he never did. He promised he was going to help her, but how could he help her now?

"Excuse me, Miss." an auror came up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. "I'm taking the bodies."

"What are you going to do with him?" Lily whispered, glancing at the pile of bodies. Would he be thrown into the pile?

"We're bringing the muggles to their families. We're blaming it on that muggle energy source, the gas lines. We're saying that they exploded all down the street, and that's how the fires started. The Ministry members are going to be given proper funerals, and will be honored for their service."

Lily's grip remained tight of Kingsley. She was still in shock, still couldn't believe he was gone. "When?"

"The funeral?" the auror started to sound a bit impatient; he was tired and wanted this horrible day to end, just like everyone else working here. "Tomorrow, most likely. May I take the body now?"

Lily nodded, afraid that if she spoke she would start crying. The auror raised Kingsley's body with his wand, and Lily reluctantly let go, watching it float through the air like some grotesque doll.

She went back to her fellow healers, unable to watch any longer. They were starting to pack up, now that the patients were stabile, and we beginning to transport the people back to the hospital for further treatment.

The healer in charge, Miselle Portlack, had chosen a few experienced healers to stay and help finish transporting the patients; they were taken turns using the fireplaces in a nearby residence to Floo them to the hospital, since that would be safer for them then apparating.

"Evans, you go home, you look terrible," Miselle barked at Lily. "Heaster, Morghan, Ugeta, you can head home too," she said as three other healers came near.

Lily focused as well as she could before apparating, hoping she wouldn't Splinch herself because he mind was occupied, but she arrived at her destination in one piece. She was momentarily surprised when she looked up and saw the Evans household instead of Severus' shop. She hadn't even realized she had focused on her first home, but she felt comforted as she took in its familiarness. She headed up the walkway, breathing heavily, trying very hard not to break down as she pictured Kingsley's broken body. She opened the front door, and walked into the kitchen, where she knew her family would be eating dinner at this time. They didn't notice her at first, they were too busy chatting and laughing, and she watched them as if through a deep fog. Her mother was laughing at something Petunia said, her father even chuckling.

Mrs. Evans finally glanced up, a laugh still on her lips, but it quickly disappeared as she took in her daughter's grisly appearance.

"Lily, what happened?" she stood quickly, eyes resting on Lily's bloody uniform.

"Them," Lily said simply and gestured towards the window; she knew that that wasn't much of an explanation, but she was unable to say anything else.

Kingsley's words of advice to her re-sounded in her head as her mother stepped forward warily. "Who are you talking about?"

Mr. Evans stood, reaching a hand out to Lily and to his surprise, she grabbed it and fell into his arms.

"The Death Eaters." she whispered so they could barely hear her, her voice breaking. "They attacked a town. Healers were sent to help."

"Oh, God." Mrs. Evans touched the back of Lily's head. "That must have been horrible."

"Aurors were there too. Some were dead in the battle. Kingsley was ... he was lying there... I couldn't help him." Lily pressed her face into her father's shoulder and began crying heartily.

"Oh, honey," Mrs. Evans looked at her husband in horror. Kingsley had been such a help. He was such a sweet man and she knew that he had become Lily's fiend in Severus' absence. To see him like that must have destroyed her. It did destroy her.

"I've been trying, I really have, and I've been getting better, but now, Kingsley's gone too!" Lily cried.

"Baby, we're still here," Mrs. Evans stroked Lily's hair. "We've always been here."

"He told me that I upset you by not talking to you, and I know that, but I couldn't before. I know that he was right, and I'm going to take his last advice to me. I want to tell you everything."

Mr. Evans glanced at his wife, then at Petunia, who was staring opened-mouthed at her sister, fork still raised halfway to her mouth.

"Sit down, Lily, and tell us anything you want," Mrs. Evans pulled out the fourth kitchen chair, which had been empty since Lily moved out and Lily sat down. Mrs. Evans was feeling a sense of relief that her daughter was finally coming to them, but at the same time she felt terrible about Kingsley. It was the straw that had broken the camel's back. There was no one else for Lily to turn to. She needed her family now.

Lily's family had been informed of everything that had happened, the torture, the rape, the trial, but not from Lily. Kingsley had told them, and even he hadn't known all the details. Now Lily found herself wanting to tell her parents everything, from the beginning, from that first night with James in the bar to right now, so she did.

"You know that night I came home when you left that box up on my bed for me?" she turned to her father, who nodded slowly, trying to remember.

"I was upset with James. He hit me that night. He had done it before, but I was more aware of it, and before I couldn't run away, but that night I could. Now I know that was because of the spell he had on me. And the box, do you know what was in it?" Lily smiled down at her hands as her parents shook their heads curiously. Mr. Evans had wondered, of course, when he saw "My Beloved Lily' carved into the box, if there was some other boy courting his daughter, but the box looked like it had been there for a while, so he decided not to question it.

"Letters that Severus wrote to me. How he felt about me, dreams and hopes he had for us that never came true." she looked up. "And I was stupid to never see that. All of this is my fault, because I was a stupid girl, obsessed with James because he was handsome, good at quidditch and he was popular. I should have never done that."

"You didn't know." Mrs. Evans said soothingly.

"I should have. Severus would have done anything for me, and I didn't see that." Lily sighed. "That day he came by..James and Sirius went to his shop to get ingredients for that horrible potion and he heard them mention my name. Even though he hadn't seen me in years, he came to make sure I was okay. Even after I was pushed him away, he still was trying to protect me. I should have asked him to help me then, but I didn't, because I wanted to break up with James myself, I wanted to end it myself. And then it was too late because force fed me that potion."

"He cares about you alot, Lily," Petunia spoke up and the other three looked at her, almost forgetting she was there. "He was there when I came back from a date with Vernon, and I told him how James was controlling you. He was so upset Lily. Just because you made a mistake by going with James doesn't mean you ruined it with Severus. You two are still together, and you'll both be okay because you have each other."

"That's what Kingsley said to me," Lily eyes shined with fresh tears. "He came and told me that I had to let other people help, and that as long as Sev had me he would be fine, but then he got called away to the battle, and he never came back to finish talking to me." Lily put her face in her hands. "It wasn't fair that he died! After everything that he did! He helped remove James' curse, and he tried to find an antidote for the potion, but they couldn't. I'm stuck to James forever."

Lily looked up. "Do you know Sev and I tried to get married? Kingsley was going to do the ceremony. But we couldn't, cause I was bound to James. I belong to him, and I wanted everyone to know that. But instead, I have James' marks on me forever."

"Maybe you can try a normal ceremony, like I told you," Petunia said. "That could work."

"I'm just tired, Petunia. I'm tired of worrying about James coming after me. I will never be able to forget about him, I will always be on the look out, no matter what happens. I'm afraid. What if he escapes somehow, and takes me again? What will Severus do without me? Because I'm sure James will not let me live if he gets me again."

"He won't get out, Lily." Mr. Evans said. "But Severus will and you will get married. James will never bother you again."

"Even if he doesn't get out, I can never forget him, everything he did. The marks he left on me, the baby." Lily faltered at this point. "I can never forget."

"Lily, as time passes, you will find you're thinking about him less and less. Especially with Severus back." Mrs. Evans said, gripping her daughter's hand tightly.

Lily was silent then, suddenly she didn't want to talk anymore. She was done for today, and she knew her parents wouldn't push her.

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" Mr. Evans suggested quietly, hoping his daughter would say yes.

"Okay."

"Why don't you change out of those clothes," Mrs Evans tugged Lily up from her seat and led her to the bathroom. "Take a shower and I'll get you something else to wear."

Lily nodded wearily, feeling exhausted. She was suddenly too tired to cry anymore, or to think or feel. She closed the door behind her and stood for a minute, still in a half daze before she threw her bloody uniform to the ground and stepped into the hot steamy shower. She scrubbed her arms hard, watching the brownish-red tinged water swirl down as the drain as the blood washed away. She wrapped a towel around her body as she stepped over the lip of the shower and stared at her hands. The blood was gone now, but the memories remained. All those poor people, dead, and for what? The pain, the torture, the death. And Kingsley.

Her legs suddenly gave way, and she sat down hard on the bath mat on the floor. She curled up there, pressing her face into the soft whiteness of the towel, and wishing she could Obliviate herself.

"Lily?" her mother knocked on the door, but Lily, in her state of shock, didn't hear her. "Lily, I'm coming in, I have some clothes for you."

Her mother opened the door, and the steam from the shower rushed out into the hallway. Mrs. Evans dropped to her knees besides Lily when she saw her curled up on the floor.

"Are you alright? What's wrong, honey?"

Lily looked at her mother with clouded emerald eyes, and held out her arms in a pleading way, like she used to do when she was young and needed comfort. Her mother snatched her up in a tight embrace right away, and patted the back of her head lightly.

"It's going to be okay, Lily, it's going to be alright. We're here for you," Mrs. Evans said softly, caressing her daughter's cheek.

"Why do the good people always die?" Lily whispered, and she knew she sounded childish.

"Lily, I don't have an answer to that, I'm sorry."

"All those muggles and aurors, dead, and they didn't do anything wrong. And Voldemort and his Death Eaters are still roaming free. How is that fair?"

"It's not, but it's our job to change that. If you see something wrong, do your best to make it right."

"I will." Lily said firmly. In that split second when her mother spoke, she made a decision. She would do her best to make it right. She would help win the war against Voldemort.

**OMG what did I do what did I do what did I do WHY DID I KILL KINGSLEY?! I'm sorry!**

** How is Lily going to cope will this new trauma now without Kingsley? **


	34. Old Enemy, Now Friend

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for reviews: phhsdj, Althea27, Eawynne, Anotherboarduser, ujemaima, Saramagician, Bonniebonbon.**

**I am still a bit depressed over Kingsley's death last chapter, so no bad things in this chapter! I promise.**

**Chapter 34 "Old Enemy, now Friend"**

Lily felt strange walking down the hallways of her old school. Hogwarts was still as magnificent as she remembered it, but she felt out of place. She had been feeling like that alot lately, ever since that Death Eater attack in which Kingsley had been killed. She had placed protective charms on her parents' house, and on Severus' shop, to ward against intruders and fire or other damage against the houses. She was wary and distrustful, studying people's faces as they passed her, and her wand was always in her pocket, so she could grab it in a split second's notice. She felt like she couldn't trust anyone anymore, and that had always been one of her best qualities, she had thought. Always offering help, talking to people, and encouraging them. But know she could barely look strangers in the eyes without wondering if they supported Voldemort. And that's why she was on her way to Dumbledore's office. She wanted to help defeat Voldemort, so people would be safe again. And for revenge for Kingsley. Her eyes teared up as she thought of him.

She had gone to his funeral the day after the attack and it had been lovely. She was unable to stay for the whole thing however, as she was too upset.

Lily brushed her tears away as she stepped up on the spiral staircase that led to Dumbledore's office, and it took her up, up, up to a large wooden door. She stepped off and hesitated a moment before knocking.

"Enter," she heard the headmaster say, and she pushed the door open. Dumbledore was seated behind his large desk, tiny whirring instruments, books and papers littering the top of it. Dumbledore studied her curiously with bright blue eyes; it seemed as if he was x-raying her and peering into her soul.

Lily cleared her throat nervously before beginning. "I don't know if you remember me, but I was a student here a few years ago. My name is Lily Evans."

Dumbledore locked his hands and placed them in front of him on his desk, watching her closely. "It just so happens I do remember you. You were in the Daily Prophet as well a few weeks back. Are you coping well after your ordeal with James Potter?"

Lily looked at him in surprise; she had not been aware her story had been in the paper. She didn't read the Prophet and she had been too out of it to notice the comments peoples had probably made to her.

"I'm doing fine," Lily said curtly. She had not come to talk about HIM, there were more important things to discuss. "I know you're heading an organization dedicated to destroying Voldemort. I want to help. One of my friends, Kingsley Shacklebolt, was just murdered. I was at the scene where the Death Eaters attacked that muggle town. So many people dead..I don't want that to happen to anyone else."

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows, and Lily thought he looked a bit apprehensive as he cleared his throat.

"I will accept anyone who is willing to fight against Voldmort, but I must warn you it is very dangerous. You will be putting your life at risk-"

"I know that, sir. I have thought about it a great deal. You think after I saw that carnage I wouldn't know what's involved?" Lily frowned. She had thought about it alot, and especially about what Severus would think, but she had to do this.

"That's what I thought," Dumbledore sighed. "You always were a brave girl. If you want to join, I will gladly accept your help. There is a meeting next week, if you would care to join us. You can make your decision then."

"Yes, I'll be glad to come. Where is it?"

"For now, we're holding meetings in an old abandoned house on 116 Facett Avenue in Lower Dumfrey. It will be at 6:00 on Friday, can you remember that?"

"Yes. thank you sir, for letting me help. I'm a Healer, so I can help if anyone gets injured and I have connections at the hospital." Lily said eagerly, already anxious to start fighting.

"That would be very helpful." Dumbledore smiled at the young woman, who looked like she had suffered through too much at such a young age. "I will see you next week, Lily."

"Thank you, sir," Lily smiled back, feeling like she had accomplished something important, when she knew the only thing she had accomplished so far was agreeing to put her life in danger.

**000000000**

Lily looked up at the old house whose shutters were swinging off their hinges and the paint that was peeling away in long strips. There was no sign that anyone else was here; the house was quiet and dark. She looked cautiously around before moving up to the front door and pushing it open. She was assaulted with a barrage of noises, smells and lights that made her jump back in surprise. She must have looked shocked, because a short wizard standing not too far away spotted her and tugged her inside quickly, shutting the door behind them.

"Yes, I know it doesn't look it from the outside, but there are charms on the house to prevent passerby from seeing or hearing anything that's going on in here." the short man smiled at her. "Dumbledore told me there would be a new recruit coming tonight. You're Lily Evans?"

"Yes," Lily said.

"Welcome to the Order of The Phoenix. I'm Dedalus Diggle. Let me introduce you to everyone until Dumbledore gets here to start the meeting." he led her into the living room of the house where most of the noise was coming from, the boards creaking uneasily beneath their feet. Lily sighed in relief that Dedalus had taken her under his wing; she had been a bit unsure of how she was going to proceed when she reached the meeting.

Several members were practicing new defensive spells in the corner, which explained the bursts of light she had seen. The ones who were talking quietly amongst themselves, sitting on the mix-matched furniture in the room looked up when Dedalus and Lily entered.

Dedalus grabbed Lily's arm and tugged her over to the largest group.

"This is Lily Evans. She here's to join us." Dedalus announced to the group. "That's Edgar Bones," a man in his mid-thirties who had a rather ludicrous goatee raised a hand.

"Caradoc Dearborn," an older man who was wearing a plum-colored vest smiled at her.

"Benjy Fenwick." The handsome man with the dark hair who was standing next to Edgar winked.

"Emmeline Vance," a stern-looking woman with thick black hair and dark eyes shook her hand.

"And Sturgis Podmore, Marlene McKinnon, and Dorcas Meadowes." Dedalus pointed out the last three members in the group, who nodded at Lily.

"Lily?" a surprised voice said from behind her, and she turned around. She frowned at the young man staring at her. He looked vaguely familiar.

"It's Remus, Remus Lupin."

Lily's expression hardened a bit as she recognized him. She had never blamed Remus for all the crap that James and the other two pulled and she had always felt sorry for him. But that face reminded her harshly of James, and she had not been expecting that.

Remus noticed her expression, and a look of shame came over his face. "Listen, I'm sorry about everything that happened. I'm sorry about what James did to you. I saw it in the paper."

Lily softened a bit hearing that statement and placed a hand on Remus' arm. "It wasn't your fault," Lily said softly. She studied his worried face. "You and I are a bit alike, I think. We were both drawn in by James, but we both escaped, Remus. You sooner then me, you were smarter and realized what a bastard he was sooner then I, but we both still escaped."

"So you don't think badly of me?" Remus said, his face relaxing a bit.

"No. You never wanted to be a part of any of those horrible things the Marauder's did. I saw it in your eyes. And now, joining the Order shows you aren't as selfish as they were." She smiled at him.

"Thank you, Lily." Remus looked relieved, and Lily gave him a hug impulsively.

"Very well, you too know each other, that's good. Now may I continue?" Dedalus interrupted, getting impatient.

"Yeah, go on," Remus chuckled before leaning over and whispering in Lily's ear," Dedalus is a stickler for details. Self-proclaimed introducer of people. You see."

"That's Fabian and Gideon Prewett," Dedalus pointed to two twin men who were practicing dueling with two other people. "Those people they're dueling with are Elphias Dodge and Mundungus Fletcher," he gestured to a rather frail looking older man and a bald, grungy man.

"That's Frank and Alice Longbottom over there," Lily got a a shock of recognition as she recognized the couple sitting in the corner. They were a few years ahead of her at Hogwarts, but she knew them. Frank, a tall strapping former Gryffindor, and Alice, a former Hufflepuff, who was currently smiling at her husband who had a hand on her slightly distended stomach.

Dedalus continued, unaware that Lily was staring at the Longbottoms.

"And that's Alastor Moody," he pointed to the last person in the room, who was sitting in the shadows, hiding his face. As Lily watched, he raised a silver flask to his mouth a took a gulp of whatever was inside. She shivered for some reason; she had a feeling it wouldn't be a good idea to get on his bad side.

"That's everyone that's here. There are a couple of other people, they should be coming soon." Dedalus glanced at his rather complicated looking watch and tapped it. As if on cue, the front door suddenly opened and Lily turned to watch in interest as to who would arriving.

Four more people entered the room, one of them being Dumbledore himself. The man next to Dumbledore looked so much like him that Lily guessed he must be a relative. "That's Aberfoth, Albus' brother." Dedalus said, nodding at the new arrivals in greeting.

A stern looking witch brushed her robes off, and Lily recognized her as the Hogwarts transfiguration teacher, Minerva Mcgonagall.

And the last man was so tall Lily had to look up to see his face. She had seen him at Hogwarts, too and she was pretty sure his name was Hagrid.

"Minerva Mcgonagall, who teaches at Hogwarts, and Rubeus Hagrid, who is the Keeper of Keys and Grounds at the school also."

Dumbledore smiled at Lily before calling out," Let us start the meeting, please." The members of the order ceased all their speaking and took a seat wherever there was room. When they were all settled, Lily was squeezed between Dedalus and Emmeline on the couch, and Dumbledore went to the front of the room and cleared his throat. "I assume you all heard about that Death Eater attack on the muggle town last week?"

There was a wave of soft yeses, rather subdued.

"Thirty-five muggles and five aurors were killed before the Death Eaters left. This has been the most open attack yet. It means the Dark Side is growing bolder. They believe that they are taking more control, and are being opposed less."

"Well, they better set themselves straight, cause we're here!" Emmeline huffed loudly from Lily's right, and Dumbledore smiled at her.

"Yes, we are here." Dumbledore gestured around him. "And we have a new addition to the Order. I'm sure you have all met Lily Evans already?"

Lily blushed as everyone turned to look at her. She suddenly felt very young and inexperienced next to everyone else.

"She is a Healer, and will be able to help us with any medical emergencies we might have." Dumbledore clapped his hands, and a map began drawing itself on the blank space of wall behind him. "Now, to business. Sturgis, Marlene, do you have any information about our list of suspected Death Eaters?"

"Aye," Sturgis stood. "Lucius Malfoy is definitely one of 'em. When we was scouting his house, we saw him leave wearing a Death Eater mask. Then he Apparated off his front stoop."

Dumbledore bowed his head gravely. "He has important connections at the Ministry, too. That is not good news. was there anyone else?"

"Yes." Marlene piped up."Regulus Black was seen exiting his parents home at Grimmauld place also carrying a Death Eater mask and robes. You are right, Albus, they are getting bolder. They don't seem to care if anyone sees them with their Death Eater garb."

Dumbledore nodded before turning to Moody and the Prewett twins. "Did you three have any luck locating the Death Eater's meeting place?"

Moody growled audibly. "No. But we suspect they might be doing the same as us, moving from place to place so as to be detected."

"Well, keep working on that. We must know where they're meeting. Does anyone else have any other information on the Death Eaters or Lord Voldemort?"

The group shook their heads.

"Very well. There's one thing I would like you all to do this week. Please work together to place protective charms over muggle neighborhoods. We must try to protect them from future attacks. The charms will help to ward off the Death Eaters and keep the muggles safe. I am working on a lead I have right now to defeat Lord Voldemort, but I need more time. So that will be all for today. But please take the time to go around and place those protective charms on nearby muggle neighborhoods. I will contact you all with the time for the next meeting."

There was rustlings and whispers as everyone stood and talked among themselves, wondering about Dumbledore's new lead on Voldemort. But they knew better then to ask; Dumbledore would tell them when he was ready.

"What did you think?" Remus' voice in Lily's ear made her jump.

"Oh, you scared me!" Lily touched her heart, which was beating rapidly.

"Sorry," he apologized as Lily stood up, joining everyone else.

Lily laughed at the intense, apologetic expression on Remus' face. "It's okay, don't be sorry! I think this will be good for me. I want to help destroy Voldemort and his followers, I can't just sit by and watch them torture and kill innocent people."

Remus nodded, his eyes fixed on her. They showed a kind of desperation as he cleared his throat and stated, "So you broke up with James."

"Yeah." Lily's expression darkened at the change of subject. She moved aside so Hagrid wouldn't knock her down in an attempt to squeeze past. "It took me way too long, but he's in prison now."

Remus reddened as he tried to force garbled words out.

"I'm sorry?" Lily was perplexed; she didn't understand a word he said.

"Do you want to have dinner with me tonight? We could go out-"

"Oh, Remus, no, I can't!" Lily said quickly, but then felt horrible at the look on Remus' face. "It's not you, I'm with someone. Do you remember Severus?"

"Severus Snape?" It was Remus' turn to look surprised. " The one the Marauders' picked on so much?"

"Yes. And although you're great, Remus, I wouldn't trade Sev for the world." Lily said. "We're supposed to get married, actually. He was the one who saved me from James."

"There wasn't anything in the paper about that," Remus frowned. "Only how James tortured you and then was caught by the Ministry and imprisoned. Where is he now?"

"Azkaban." Lily said shortly.

"Why? That doesn't make any sense." Remus looked confused.

"Because he killed Sirius Black."

Remus' eyebrows shot up. "Sirius is dead? Wow. Even though I really started to hate the Marauders before I left the group, they were the only friends I ever had. Its just weird to think. Is Snape-Severus in prison for life?" he asked quickly, hoping Lily wouldn't be upset by the question.

"No, he got a shortened sentence, because he was doing it to protect me. But it feels like a life sentence to me," Lily said quietly, looking down at the ground and squeezing her hands together.

"I'm sorry, Lily." Remus patted her shoulder. "Do you want me to bring you home? It's getting late, and I have to work tomorrow."

Lily nodded, and looped her arm around Remus' as they exited the room behind the last of the other order members. She grinned wickedly. "So, Remus. You have a little crush on me?"

Remus blushed at her touch and her question. He cleared his throat. "Do I have to answer that?"

"I won't tell Sev," Lily smiled slyly.

Remus' eyes took on a glazed expression as he explained. "I watched you go around with James, and I was so jealous. You were beautiful, smart and kind, and I didn't like how he treated you, like some kind of possession."

Lily frowned. "You, Severus. How come I never noticed the good guys that wanted to go out with me? I don't understand how I could have become so wrapped up with James."

Remus shrugged. "Love, or what you think is love, can do funny things to your head."

"Yeah, don't I know it." Lily scowled. They stepped outside and stared up at the dark night sky.

"You want to lead in side along?" Remus asked quietly, and Lily nodded. She closed her eyes, and Remus gripped her tightly as they spun on the spot. When they were opened their eyes, they were in front of the potion's shop.

"This is where you live?" Remus raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, it's Severus' place. I moved here basically right after Severus was inprisioned." Lily released her grip on Remus. "I guess I'll see you at the next meeting then,"

"I might not be there, depending on when it is. I'm in the process of looking for a new place to live. I'm getting evicted from my old place in a muggle neighborhood. Insufficient funds." Remus said grimly.

Lily put her hands over her mouth. "Oh, Remus, that's terrible! Why don't you stay here with me until you find a place? There's plenty of room."

"Are you sure? Severus wouldn't care?" Remus raised his eyebrows. He didn't want to get Lily in trouble with Severus, lest he think she was cheating on him.

"No, he wouldn't care that I'm helping a friend. You can your things over tomorrow, if you like. That way you can take your time searching for a new place, and you wouldn't have to worry about it as much. Please, Remus. Let me help you."

Remus glanced up at the shop reluctantly. "Alright, if you're sure,"

"I'm sure!" Lily said. "Now stop asking me questions and go home."

"Thank you. I really appreciate it." Remus smiled.

"You're welcome. I'll see you tomorrow." Lily waved and went inside the shop, locking the door behind her.

Remus sighed in relief. That was one thing off his plate. His heart dropped suddenly; should he have told her about his condition? He was always trying to keep it a secret, but if he would be living here for a little while... he would tell her tomorrow and let her make her decision then. If she said no, that he couldn't move in, he would understand. That was the view most people took anyway so he was used to it. He spun on the spot, heading home, and left the street dark and empty.

**Please Review!**


	35. Week 10

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for reviews!**

**Ok, so I'm probaby gonna start wrapping this up after Severus comes back, which will hopefully be next chapter, if not the one after. Don't worry, Sev will be back, so hold on! I know all of you will enjoy this chapter immensely as we wait for Severus' return. wink wink**

**Chapter 34 "Week 10"**

Severus awoke to the sound of rustlings and thumping; a body being dragged passed. He inhaled slightly as the dementors passed, holding on to the image of himself walking out of Azkaban to keep the coldness away. Each of the dementors had grabbed an arm of the body, and Severus watched as a pair of bare feet flopped after the body. Severus tried not to take in too much detail as these gruesome bodies were dragged past; it was just his luck that his cell was on the main route to the Kissing Chamber and the chamber where the bodies were stored for the werewolves, but he felt a sudden urge to see the prisoner's face. The prisoner's body was already stripped of it's prison clothes, ready for the next poor soul who would be locked in here.

Severus' eyes landed on the man's face just as a beam of moonlight illuminated it; he gasped, and one of the dementors turned its head towards him. He closed his eyes, his heart racing, and willed the creature to look away.

A shock of recognition ran through Severus at the sight of that face, causing him to remember things he had forgotten; her name was Lily, he could remember now, she loved him, her name was Lily.

Even though the prisoner's face was pale from death, and thinner from mal nourishment, like he was sure his own was, he was absolutely positive that he knew the man. It was James Potter.

Severus would be lying if he said he didn't feel some satisfaction at seeing Potter dead. The things he did to Lily, to Severus; he was in jail because of Potter and Black. He felt a sick spike of pleasure at seeing Potter dead, being dragged along the ground like a sack of flour, and felt the urge to go spit on him, but the sight of the dementors stopped him. He got one last look at the dead cold feet flopping past and then the body of James Potter was gone.

Severus heaved a sigh. Potter was dead. He was gone. Would Lily be happy at that information? Or would some tiny part of her be upset? Lily, that was her name. He had to remember it now until he got out.

**Suck it, James! He finally go what h deserved. I bet lily will be pleased. Review and let me know what you think!**


	36. Week 12

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for reviews: Eawynne, coconutmooo, SamDaRomanticWriter, Saint Snape, guest, code R.R., Saramagician, Professor Radar, Atala444, Althea27, Jaspreet,phhsdj, and visitor**

**SORRY! I know this is such a late update, but real life has dragged me away from Fanficion. I'm sorry!**

Chapter 36 "Week 12"

This was Severus' last week in Azkaban. He had survived. He was still sane, or at least he hoped. But he knew this place would haunt him forever. It haunted him now, in his dreams; and he woke up, it would still be real. But he was going to leave now. Lily {he remembered her name and her face now} she would be happy. And Potter was dead.

Severus' cell door creaked open. His tray was thrown on the ground by the hooded dementor, and then the door was slammed shut and relocked. Severus stared at the tray, but couldn't muster the strength to get up. He would eat later. He wasn't hungry right now anyway; it seemed like during the past few day he had no appetite, although he choked down the tasteless stale food anyway to try to keep up his strength.

Severus thought about Lily again, and it didn't feel real that he was going to see her soon. It felt like a lifetime that he had been imprisoned here, and this last week was going to be the worst torture, because he was so close to escaping this hellhole.

**I'm sorry this is so short, I'm really going to try and get another chapter posted today, but I'm not promising anything.**


	37. Second Thoughts

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for reviews: Marietta, Atala444, Eawynne, visitor, Saint Snape, chellehill, Jaspreet**

**This chapter is alittle short, but at least its longer then the last one! And a quicker update, too.**

**Chapter 37 "Second Thoughts"**

Lily bustled around Severus' apartment, straightening up for Remus' arrival. She was feeling nervous, like she was going behind Severus' back.

_Which she was_, Lily thought as she threw a pile of clothes onto the bed. She was starting to think it wasn't such good idea to invite Remus to stay.

Last night it was just natural for her to want to help, especially since they were fighting Voldemort together. It made her feel closer to him somehow. But now it could almost be compared to when you were drunk the night before and did something incredibly stupid, and when you woke the next morning you felt terribly guilty and wished it hadn't happened. If only there was some way she could take back what she said...she just hoped Severus would'nt be mad.

Lily jumped when she heard a steady rhythmic knocking on the shop door downstairs. That must be Remus. Her heart was in her throat as she hurried to the door. This was such a stupid thing to do, how could she be so naive?

Remus waved at her through the glass as she came closer. He was shifting nervously on the balls of his feet, and hope grew in Lily's chest; perhaps he didn't feel right either, and he would say he found a different place? He was, after all, the one who expressed concerns about how Severus might feel the night before.

Lily put on a smile as she let him into the shop. "Remus! Hi."

"Hey, Lily." he wrung his hands together and paused in the doorway. "Look, I really appreciate you letting me stay here, but I need to tell you something."

"What is it?" Lily frowned as she noticed sweat beginning to bead on Remus' forehead and make its way down his nose. He lifted a hand to swipe it away, but more droplets replaced them, and he quickly gave up.

"I need to tell you something about myself. Something you may not like."

Lily stared at him. Was he about to tell her something that had to do with James? Something about school? Did he really enjoy teasing Severus?

"I have a...a disease." Remus forced out, looking down at the floor. "It's not common, but it can be dangerous to the people around me."

Lily tilted her head and surveyed Remus. What was the big deal? If it was something contagious, she would be able to help him. She felt that need to help growing inside her chest and she cursed herself. Before Lily knew it, her hand had found its way to Remus' forearm and her mouth was moving, saying words of comfort. "I'm a Healer, Remus. I'm sure that won't be a problem. I can help you."

Remus looked at her with an expression that was hard to read; his brows were furrowed and his mouth was trembling almost as if he was trying to hold back tears. He took three deep breaths and looked at the floor before he spoke.

"No, it can't be treated. I have to live with it for the rest of my life." Remus let out the breath he had been holding in. "I have lycanthropy. I'm a werewolf."

Lily froze, her eyes glued to Remus' face in shock.

"I know, you're disgusted. Everyone always is. That's why I'm in this mess. Word gets out and spreads like wildfire." Remus snorted bitterly. "I wanted to tell you and I understand if you don't want me here."

Lily didn't reply, she simply retained that shocked expression that Remus was far too used to now and he stepped away from her so that her hand fell away from his arm. "I'll go-"

Lily, against her prior insecurities about letting him stay and realizing that this was the perfect excuse to tell him he couldn't be here, grabbed his hand to stop him from leaving. She would not allow herself to be like the others who pushed people down because they were different. She would not be like James.

"I don't care what you are. You can still stay." Lily said softly and gave him a small smiled.

"Are you sure?" Remus' mouth dropped in surprise, eyes wide. It was his turn to wear the shocked expression. No one had ever accepted this about him before, except the Marauders and Dumbledore, of course. But that was only because Dumbledore thought it would be an asset, having somebody to be able to go behind the lines and relate to the not-so-tame werewolves.

"Yes." Lily gave him a quick hug, feeling him stiffening in her grip. She expected that he didn't get very much human contact. "We'll just have to work something out for when you transform, that's all."

Remus' face broke into the widest grin Lily had ever seen, and she mirrored that expression.

"I cleared some space for you upstairs already." Lily said.

"Thank you so much, Lily." Remus said gratefully. "I mean it. No one has ever just brushed it off, they all just look at me like I'm a freak, they give me disgusted looks...just thank you." Remus eyes' glistened with tears and Lily looked away so he wouldn't be embarrassed and started walking toward the upstairs to show Remus around.

"You're welcome." she whispered, and just hoped with all her heart that Severus would not mind.

**Well, at least Lily feels guilty now about letting Remus stay. I wonder what Severus' reaction will be? :)**


	38. Another Death Eater Attack

** I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks for reviews: phhsdj, hogwartsharpist, Professor Radar,Eawynne, Snapexoxo, Saint Snape, Jaspreet**

**Yay! A long chapter!**

**Chapter 38 "Another Death Eater Attack"**

Lily's hands were trembling as she listened to Dumbledore speak. He had called an emergency meeting, via Patronous messages, due to an impending Death Eater attack.

"I have received word that the Death Eaters are planning another attack of a muggle town not far from here. Last time, we were too late and many muggles and Order members were murdered."

Lily swallowed hard, remembering Kingsley and that night only too well. Remus, who was standing next to lily, glanced over at her; her arm was pressed against his in the tight space and he could feel her shaking.

"I know this is your first time, but I'll stay with you. I've been through a couple of fights before." Remus whispered to her and Lily turned her eyes toward him, a grateful smile dressing her lips.

"Thank you." she breathed back, and suddenly she didn't feel quite as nervous as before. She reached out for Remus' hand and squeezed gently, grateful for a friend in these terrifying times. Remus' eyes widened for a moment, not expecting the little gesture, but gave her a little squeeze in return.

"We will Apparate in small groups, and to different quadrants in the neighborhood. Give a signal if the Death Eaters arrive in your location, and the others will immediately come." Now Moody, Dumbledore's right hand man, was talking. He stared out at the crowd of Order members with an expectant look on his face. When no one moved, he snarled. "What are you waiting for? We don't have all night! Break up into groups four to six and pick a location to Apparate to!"

Moody waved his wand and a map drew itself on the wall. It was a map of the neighborhood with several thick back dots positioned here and there. "After you have your groups and pick a location, erase the dot so there's no confusion and start leaving."

The Order members hurried to obey Moody's command. Remus tugged Lily toward the Prewett twins and they were joined by Emmeline Vance, who picked a dot on the map and erased it after showing the others.

"Come on, then." Emmeline gestured for the others in the group to follow her and they headed outside. "Everyone stay together now." Emmeline said. "We'll do group Apparation."

Remus, Lily and the Prewetts gathered around Emmeline and they all grasped hands. "One, two, three-" Emmeline counted, and they all spun on the spot, reappearing in the muggle neighborhood.

"Okay, wands out and eyes open." Emmeline whispered, looking around for any signs of the Death Eaters. It was very late, and all of the houses were dark and quiet. All you could hear was the light drone of insects and the occasional breeze whispering through the leaves. The others followed Emmeline as she stalked the street; she had been a member longer then any of them, and was therefore more experienced. They watched as she tilted her head as if listening to something, her wand held up, ready for action. Lily began trembling again, and Remus pulled her closer, acting on instinct to comfort her; he had never even released her hand after they Apparated.

"Be ready, Lily." Remus leaned close and whispered in her ear. "They always catch you off guard. One minute it'll be calm, and the next you'll be dodging curses."

Lily nodded, grasping her wand even tighter and staring straight ahead. They followed Emmeline as she paced up and down the streets for another ten minutes before she stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide.

"Over there," she pointed to the sky, and they could see a faint burst of red against the dark night. "They're here." she started toward the direction of the signal, calling back, "Wands out! There could be more anywhere!"

Lily, Remus and the Prewetts followed her, running, their hearts and bodies pumping with adrenaline as they rushed to help their friends.

The scene that met their eyes as they turned the last corner was horrible. Already there were bodies on the ground. Muggle houses were burning and a few Order members were desperately trying to put out the flames so they wouldn't spread to other houses. Muggles ran past, their clothes on fire, screaming as their flesh burned and blistered. Some fell to the ground, trying to put it out by rolling, but it didn't work; the fire was magic.

Remus finally let go of Lily's hand and ran into the fray when he spotted Dorcas Meadows being crucioed by a masked Death Eater. He shot a curse at the Death Eater and the mask fell off as the person stumbled. Dorcas recovered enough to get to her feet and begin shooting curses at another nearby Death Eater. The one that Remus shot down cackled as she raised her head and Remus took a step back and paled when he saw who it was: Bellatrix Lestrange. She was renown for her love of torturing and killing muggles and her ruthlessness and bloodthirsty intentions.

"You want to play?" she giggled and slashed her wand through the air, blasting Remus back. He landed on his back, stunned by the slamming force of his fall. Bellatrix stood above him, raising her wand in preparation to work another spell, but Lily tackled her from behind, forgoing magic in her panic and simply crashing into Bellatrix. A look of shock crossed Bellatrix's face as she smashed into the ground, Lily on top of her. She quickly regained her composure and flipped Lily off so their positions were switched; now she was on top.

Remus quickly got to his feet, ready to intervene, but was intercepted by a huge burly Death Eater who shot him with a curse that made his skin bubble as if he had dumped acid in it. Remus winced, but ignored the pain as he shot a curse in retaliation, and dodged the Death Eater's return spell, and that was the last Lily saw of him; after that he was lost among the crowd of fighters and the jets of light that blew past.

"You must be a muggle born." Bellatrix cackled trailing a finger down Lily's face as she remained unmoving on top of her. "You choose to fight in the filthy muggle way instead of using magic?"

Lily fought to raise her wand up to curse the other witch, but Bellatrix was terribly strong, she had Lily's arm pinned against the ground so hard that she felt the asphalt cutting into her skin. Bellatrix grinned at Lily's frantic efforts to get away and traced a finger over Lily's lips. "Won't you learn that you're nothing compared to us? We will destroy you!"

Lily snarled at her words and opened her mouth, catching Bellatrix's finger in her teeth and biting down hard, drawing blood. Bellatrix screamed, not expecting that particular action, and released Lily's wand arm out of shock. Taking advantage of Bellatrix's sudden release, Lily pushed her off and got to her feet, but Bellatrix was quicker.

"Crucio!" she screeched, and Lily fell to the ground once again, and that familiar pain came back, and with it memories of James. His face popped into her mind as Bellatrix shot another cruciartus curse at her and pain ripped through her body. An instant reply started in her mind of James torturing her in the same exact way and she felt herself falling into that submissive mode, curling into a ball- no! This was a fight with a Death Eater, her life was in danger! She could not, WOULD NOT lay here. Lily stood up, struggling to her feet as Bellatrix blasted her with another crucio. Bellatrix raised her eyebrows as Lily stepped forward, panting with exertion.

"Well, well. That is certainly something I've never seen before. I guess it's not painful enough then?" Bellatrix smirked, but Lily dodged the next burst of light and shot a curse at Bellatrix, who dodged as well.

"Really? You think a mudblood is any match for me?" Bellatrix giggled, dancing around.

Lily burned with anger at the woman in front of her. These were the people that killed Kingsley and all those muggles. THEY were the filth, the slime that coated this world, and it was time to clean up the mess.

"I'm tiring of our little game, mudblood. It's time for you to die now." Bellatrix raised her wand, giving a cocky grin, but a rage suddenly leapt up inside Lily like she had never felt before. It could be compared to the rage she felt in the Shrieking Shack, when she was stabbing James, but this was much more intense, because it involved more then just her. It was like a fire that begged to burn brighter and hotter, using her thoughts of James and all the terrible things that the Death Eaters had done as fuel. Lily raised her wand, hardly realizing what she was doing, simply blinded by rage like that night at the Shack, and heard someone scream "Avada kedavra!", not even realizing until a second later that those words had flown from her lips.

Bellatrix looked amused at her try at the killing curse, until the green jet hit her square in the chest and she fell to the ground, a grin still on her lips.

Lily stared down at Bellatrix, that powerful feeling gone now...and what had she just done?

"Oh my god.." She had just killed another person. She felt numb as she looked at Bellatrix's still face, her eyes wide and blank, staring up toward the night sky.

"Lily! watch out!" Emmeline screamed from behind Lily as a jet of light flew past her ear, ruffling her hair. She spun around, snapping out of her daze and came face to face with a masked Death Eater. Lily blocked a spell that he shot at her and returned it with another spell and the two went back and forth, battling furiously.

The dead Bellatrix on the ground began catching the Death Eater' eyes as they ran past while fighting with Order members, and suddenly a Death Eater's voice boomed out, loud above the blasts and bursts of spells, "Retreat."

The Death Eater that Lily was fighting shot one last spell at her before he spun on his heel and disappeared. All around, there were sharp cracking sounds as the Death Eaters Disapparated one by one in a hasty retreat.

Within a minute, all the Death Eaters were gone, except wounded or dead ones, and there were only Order members left. Lily was still standing in the near vicinity of Bellatrix's body, which was starting to draw a crowd of Order members. Lily felt jumpy, still looking over her shoulder for blasts of spells or attacking enemies even though the Death Eaters were gone now. She gave a loud gasp and whipped around as she felt a hand on her shoulder but breathed a sigh of relief when she saw it was only Remus.

"Lily are you okay?" he asked softly, and she nodded before bursting into tears. "That's how I felt after my first fight." he said understandingly, patting her shoulder to comfort her. She fell into him, pressing her face against his shirt and Remus stiffened as she cried into him. He stood quite still for a split second before wrapping his arms around her tightly and whispering soothing words of comfort into her ear.

Somebody pushed past Remus, and he looked around; it was Moody, heading toward the small group that had formed in front of them.

"What happened here?" he asked gruffly, pushing the others aside to see what was in the middle of the crowd, but he didn't need to as they moved aside to clear a path for him. He blinked as he stared at Bellatrix's body before a small grin broke his stern features.

"Bellatrix Lestrange, dead. I thought I would never see the day." Moody shook his head misbelievingly. He was silent for a minute as if brooding and then looked over his shoulder at the crowd. "What are you all doing?" he yelled and everyone jumped in unison. "Clear out and start looking for survivors!"

The Order members quickly scurried in all directions, fanning out across the area and looking for wounded, much like Lily and the healers had done on that night of the other attack.

"C'mon." Remus pulled Lily after him, a comforting arm around her shoulder as they followed the others. "So Bellatrix is dead. I can't believe it. All the people she's killed...and she was one of Voldemort's greatest followers. That's a big plus for us."

"I did it." Lily said quietly.

"What?" Remus said absently, not really paying attention but instead scanning the area for any bodies.

"I killed Bellatrix."

Remus looked at her, his eyes wide.

"I took someone's life." Lily slipped out of Remus' grasp to sit on the curb. "I can't believe it." she pressed her palms to her eyes. She felt Remus sit next to her and touch her arm gently.

"Lily...you don't have to feel bad. If she was still alive, you know how many people she would kill?"

"But how is this different from what Severus did? He killed a horrible person who did horrible things and he was imprisoned for it. Now I killed Bellatrix and everybody is ecstatic. How is that fair?" Lily removed her hands from her eyes so she could look at Remus, the need to understand written clearly across her face.

Remus shrugged, looking troubled. He didn't have an answer for her. When she put it that way, it didn't seem very fair. If Sirius was a Death Eater and Severus was an Order member, he would have never been sent to prison for killing him. But he wasn't in the Order, and Sirius was almost as bad as a Death Eater.

"I'm sorry, Lily. I don't know what to say. I don't have an answer. What I can tell you is that you saved a lot of lives by removing Bellatrix from the picture, so think of it that way." He stood up, looking around. "We need to help the others now." he held out a hand to help her up, and she took it, getting to her feet. "Come on."

They joined the others in searching the houses and streets for any wounded muggles or Order members, which took a fairly short amount of time since the Death Eaters didn't get too far because the Order was there to stop them.

Moody gestured at the Order when all the fires were out and the wounded were Apparated away to Saint Mungo's for treatment by a few select Order members. He cleared his throat, studying them all. "Tonight was a good night. This is a win for the Order. We had no casualties on our side, and only two muggles are killed. Bellatrix Lestrange is dead and we have five other Death Eaters in custody. Tonight...tonight was a great night." An explosion of cheering started up and Moody gave a small smile. It wasn't often that they had such a good battle. It was always rewarding when there weren't many casualties and especially if none of their own were wounded or killed.

Remus whistled, a grin on his face, but Lily still felt numb inside.

"Can we leave?" she asked quietly, and Remus face fell a little. "Yeah, okay."

"Albus and I will get in contact with everybody about the next meeting, and until then, stay safe." Moody called over the noise. Remus followed Lily as she walked away from the crowd and picked a spot to Disapparate. She spun and disappeared, Remus following and appearing next to her side in front of the potions shop a moment later. She was quiet, and Remus chose not to break the silence even after they were upstairs and Lily went to her room, closing the door behind her without a word. Remus settled on the couch and closed his eyes, wondering if anything he could say would make Lily feel better about what she did.

Lily curled up on the bed in her room, drawing Severus' robes to her chest.

"Sev," she whispered. "I need you here. I want you to come home." she hugged the robes to her face almost as if trying to suffocate herself but really just trying to breathe in any of Severus' scent that was left on them. She looked at the picture of her and Sev on the wall when they were kids, and reached out a finger to touch Severus' smiling face. "When you come home, we should go away. Go somewhere far away where everything is new and fresh and we could start a life together. No James or Sirius or Voldemort. Just us." Lily pulled the picture from the wall, holding it gently in her hand and running her thumb over Severus' face. A tear dripped from her eye onto the photo and she quickly wiped it off before it could ruin the picture.

Loud sobs escaped her, and she pressed her face into the robes to muffle them so Remus wouldn't hear, but soon a soft knocking started on her door. Maybe Remus' hearing was extra sensitive or something since he was a werewolf.

"Lily? are you alright? Please answer me." Remus knocked again before opening the door. He peeked inside and spotted Lily curled up on the bed. "Lily."

She looked up, her eyes full of desperation and he saw her holding the photograph and the robes. Remus went to her, and she sat up, holding her arms out like a child wanting to be picked up. He sat down next to her, wrapping his arms around her slight frame and rocked her gently.

"Is this about what happened tonight...or something else?"

Lily grasped the front of Remus' shirt tightly in her fists, struggling to breathe through her sobs. "I need Severus. I need him right now."

Remus moved his hand up tentatively and paused before stroking her hair. "He'll be back soon, Lily."

"But I need him now!" she choked out, shaking Remus.

"I'm sorry." Remus said softly. "You know that can't happen. They don't allow visitors, and Severus won't be coming back for a little while."

Lily shook her head violently, splashing tears across the bedspread and Remus. "I'll get there somehow." Lily pushed Remus away from her and stood up, trembling. Remus felt panic overwhelming him and he grabbed Lily's arm. "Listen, don't do anything stupid. You can't sneak into Azkaban."

"There are other ways." She said stubbornly, trying to pull out of his grasp, but he would not relent.

"What are you going to do, go commit a crime or something? I won't let you get arrested, Lily." Remus said. "How do you think Severus would feel if you got a life sentence in Azkaban? He would never see you again, because he'll be out here. Unless he does something to get thrown back in prison to see you, and then both of you will spend the rest of your life rotting away in a cell." He tugged her toward the bedroom doorway. "Come on. I'll make you some tea, you can relax. Maybe even take a sleeping potion." he suggested as he led her over to the couch. "Sit down and stay here, and I'll be back."

He disappeared into the kitchen and Lily heard him bustling around, heard the clink of mugs and the whistle of water boiling in a teapot. He came back balancing two steaming mugs and sat them carefully on the coffee table before sitting next to her.

"There, drink that." Remus gestured to the tea. He picked up his own mug and leaned back into the cushions, his body weary after the events of the night.

Lily just stared at her mug and shook her head. "Remus, I need-"

"Lily, Severus is not here, but he will be back soon. You need to be patient. I know it's extremely difficult, and I know you must be hurting inside, but you've waited this long already." Remus said firmly. "I know I don't compare to Severus in the slightest, but if you need someone to talk to, or just sit with you, I'm here. Even if you need something to take your anger out on, I am more then capable of taking a few punches."

Lily's lips twitched with a smile and Remus nodded with satisfaction. "Now drink your tea."

"Thank you." she whispered, her voice hoarse from crying as she picked up her mug and took a sip before placing it back on the table. The truth was she wasn't very thirsty, but she was extremely tired. Remus' shoulder seemed to beckon to her and she leaned her head on it and drew her legs up next to him.

"Do you mind?" she asked quietly, and he replied, "No, whatever makes you feel better." She sighed softly as she shifted, getting comfortable. Remus watched as her lids dropped lower and lower until her breath slowed and she drifted off. He summoned a blanket and threw it over her, trying not to move so he wouldn't disturb her. He finished drinking his tea in silence and then he too closed his eyes, leaning his head against the back of the sofa and falling asleep.

**Please don't be mean to Remus in your reviews! I promise he is not trying to get with Lily, only be there like a friend to comfort her. Other then that, say anything you want.**


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